December 10, 2009 - Play Group

Yesterday Grace and I hosted our play group at our house for the 2nd time because the cafe where we normally meet was closed. The larger group has been as big as 16 babies when we meet at the cafe, but I just invited Grace's "closest" buddies over (ok, maybe my closest buddies too!). There were six babies and one 2-year old in total (the pictures were taken before one baby had arrived) which was a fun and manageable crowd. To me, Grace seemed a bit overwhelmed at the thought that all these other babies were playing with her toys but it is never too early to try to teach the concept of "sharing", right?

This is Grace and Alvin, her Kenyan-Danish friend. Alvin was really into Grace but every time he was too close or stared too hard she cried. Poor guy - she already knows how to play hard to get!

Yesterday Grace really mastered crawling forwards all over the place to get what she wants. She seems particularly motivated by keys or cell phones, but below she crawled a good ways to a toy she wanted to take away from another baby.

Charlotte is the 2-year old standing up below (whose little sister Hayley is across from Grace) and she is very good at playing with the babies. Something about the way she says "Baby Grace" with her New Zealand accent makes my heart melt a little! Hayley is about 7 weeks younger than Grace but they are about the same size and Hayley is a lot tougher than Grace! We have to work on that.

These ladies and babies help keep me and Grace sane over here...thank you!

LMW

December 9, 2009 - You Know You Live in Kenya When...

• there is an article in the newspaper about how an airplane hit a warthog on the runway.
• your neighbor calls at 7:30 pm to ask if you just heard gunshots; you are not too sure so the neighbor calls the compound security who tell her that it was probably just a car backfiring; your neighbor calls you back and tells you to stay clear of the windows just in case AND you are not alarmed.
• you are at a dinner party and the power goes out at 8 pm; it is pitch, pitch, pitch black (no security lights or anything) and the conversation just continues as if nothing had happened for several minutes before the power comes back on; nobody moves, nobody stops talking, nobody's tone of voice gets tense.
• your house has resident mosquitos, and you've started to name them.
• your housekeeper told you today that she doesn't wash her hands with soap (and therefore you are not surprised that your family had a stomach virus a few weeks ago).
• your carpenter tries to charge you $20 for a small piece of wood (5x the actual price) and refuses to negotiate because you're a Mzungu.
• a monkey crawls into the Deputy Country Director's office at work (she is #2 at WFP) and poops on her desk.
• you realize that the sunflower seeds on your desk have been stolen and nobody had access to your office...except the monkey sitting outside your window.
• you've been typing for one hour on your keyboard when a gecko lizard suddenly crawls out from under it.
• it takes you 3x as long to drive home from the store as it should because you are stuck behind a man pulling a cart full of furniture and there is too much traffic in the other direction to pass him.
• you travel 5 miles to work and every day see that a different traffic accident has occurred en route.
• you drive 45 minutes to visit an orphanage and when you leave 1 hour later it takes you 3 hours to get home.
• you drive through red lights as if red means "go".
• none of the above mentioned events shock, frighten, disturb or surprise you. Ever. You don't even flinch.

LMW & KW

December 8, 2009 - Reality Check

Kristoffer and I always feel that our trips away from Kenya are timed perfectly because they always come when we are really frustrated with Kenya, or when we have "Kenya fatigue" as Kristoffer calls it. This upcoming vacation to Denmark for the holidays is no different.

One of the realities of living here is that you can't trust anyone. And I used to think that "anyone" meant "any total stranger or partial acquaintance", but really it is "anyone" as in "any Kenyan you meet at all and even Kenyans you know very well". Here's what I am rambling on about:

We had a visitor from the US over the weekend, a friend of a friend named Susan, and we spent a lot of time telling her about our life here. The "don't trust anyone" conversation came up and Kristoffer revealed that he doesn't even trust Charles. I was somewhat shocked, because I do (or did) trust Charles. He is a good driver and I feel safe in the car with Grace while he is driving. That's trust, right? I give him money to do some shopping and sometimes send him on errands that I don't want to do. That's trust, right? We traveled to his village, brought gifts to his family and broke bread with them. There has to be some trust there, right? Apparently, not so right.

Kristoffer said that he has suspected for a long time that Charles is stealing fuel from us and is possibly using our car to give rides to people for money. We have a fuel card at the UN that we put money on, and then Charles uses it to fill our tank. Kristoffer thinks he fills the tank too often and must either take it to a place for some of it to be sucked out for him to sell, or he has a friend at the fuel station that does it for him. Of course we have no evidence, this is just his hunch but, of course, I am very upset about it. First I was mad at Kristoffer for not telling me his suspicion but, in his defense, he said that he knew how much it would upset me and how personally I take this stuff. Apparently, the trick is to realize that if Charles is stealing it is not personal for him, he is just doing it because he thinks he can't get by without doing it and maybe he thinks we owe it to him. It is like Kenyans are born and bred to think that way. Maybe if he knew how personally I took it he would stop? But I doubt that!

So now we are coming up with ways to keep track of his mileage and fuel economy more closely to see if Kristoffer's suspicions are true. It just kills me. The tough part is, even if we have evidence of what Kristoffer suspects, we probably won't fire Charles because then we would just have to find another good driver who would probably do the same thing or worse. Sheesh! So it is like we are caught up in this world of pretending not to know what we really do know and so seeming to him (or "them") like we are so naive, whilst all along we really do know what their game is but are just letting them get away with it because that is what you do here.

And another thing...

When we bought our car it was recommended to us to put a "LoJack" type of car tracking system in our car given that car-hijacking is so common here. So we went to the Kenyan version of "LoJack" called "Track It" and had it installed. After one year it expired and we had it installed again on the day that Grace was born (thank you Charles). Well apparently a few months after that, one "Track It" customer called and said his car had been stolen and a few minutes later the company called back and said that they located it in Elodret, a city in the Rift Valley several hours away. Turns out the guy had suspected that they were a fraud and was just testing them; his car was at his house the entire time. It was a huge scandal and the company went under. I had too much of a baby-brain to know this happened until this past weekend when we drove by the place and asked Kristoffer why they were closed down. Can you believe that?!

Even legitimate UN-recommended companies here are fraudulent. There is corruption at every single level of society. You quite literally can't trust ANYONE, which does not say much for the society at large. It is an extremely sad and lonely way to live, and I am really grateful to have other expats here with us that I do trust so that I don't lose my faith in my humanity altogether. It is good for us to not be naive about Kenya anymore, but it is also just so sad. The old saying "ignorance is bliss" was definitely true in this case.

Now THAT is a reality check.

LMW

December 6, 2009 - Two Down, One to Go

Today is the 2nd anniversary of our arrival in Kenya. Two years - wow!

This time last year we were happily pregnant, both working at the UN and finally felt like we really live here. Now we are busy parents, one of us working for Grace full time and the other at the UN, and we feel that we know Kenya a lot more intimately than we did a year ago. We are certainly not naive about the realities of life in this country anymore and we are beginning to plan where this life will take us when Kristoffer's contract ends in one more year (November 30, 2010).

While our life has been enhanced a million times over since Grace's birth, I am not yet sure if she has made being here easier or more difficult. On the one hand, when you have a baby there is not a lot of time for being unhappy with your circumstances because there are too many things to do! On the other hand, we realize how little time our loved ones spend with our baby girl because we live so far away.

Either way, we are here for one more year and are hopeful that it will be a fantastic one. If you want to come visit us: the clock is ticking!

As for what is going with the little one: she is sporting two freckles these days, has cut a third tooth, and is increasingly mobile.

Grace shows us when she wants to be picked "up".

Grace does not want to be spoon fed anymore. She really won't eat pureed food or cereal too much anymore. She wants to feed herself so we tried to teach her to eat with a spoon:

you can see how that worked out!

Grace also tried to eat an orange for the first time yesterday.

She loved to suck the juice out!

Today Grace had her first swim lesson at a compound on our street with a really nice heated pool. She loved the warm water! Here she is with her teacher, Heather (an American mom), trying to learn how to blow bubbles (she didn't do it yet, but she watched intently).

We dunked her once all the way and she was shocked but didn't swallow water or cry. We played "Humpty Dumpty" and "Ring Around the Rosies" with the other babies (Kristoffer and I took turns with Grace) and it was really fun. We can't wait for her next lesson in January!

If this picture is any indication, I think she liked it too :)

Happy Kenyan Anniversary to us!

LMW

December 3, 2009 - Baby, It's Cold Outside

Today has been an unseasonably cold day in Nairobi. It has also been raining since last night which is, of course, a good thing for the country but has left me feeling a bit down in the dumps. In addition to the yucky weather, both Grace and I have a cold: stuffy, running noses with lots of sneezing! Due to her cold (and possibly teething as well) she barely slept last night and she barely napped today and we are all, therefore, exhausted. Despite her fussiness, her clinginess, and her general discomfort, though, she is still making progress!

Last night she crawled forward a little bit for the first time, after being able to crawl backwards for a few days now. She repeated the performance today but she only goes forward a few inches before going backwards or sitting up. Tonight she also "cruised" furniture for the first time! She walked from Kristoffer to me holding on to our sofa and ottoman. We were both very excited for her and think that she is destined for more crawling and cruising in the immediate days ahead of us.

Even when we are cold and damp, this baby has a way of warming us right up!

LMW

December 1, 2009 - Kristoffer's Field Pictures

These pictures were taken on my field visits in October.

Roof rain water harvesting at a rural school.

"Deforestation" caused by elephants at a primary school.

Common view from WFP Landcruiser in Laikipia (a semi-arid area).

Inefficient stoves used for cooking WFP school meals.

Entrance to a primary school.

This is a school kitchen; the women is the cook. Note that every child brings 3 liters of water to school every day because the school has no access to water.

The biggest tree Kristoffer has ever seen. It is a baobab tree, very common here.

Children outside of a primary school (staring at the Mzungu).

Drying rack for students' bowls after lunch.

After a long drought, the first drops of rain.

A hydropower dam...but very little water.

Chalkboard outside of a primary school, displaying the school's spending.

This is a household energy-saving stove that I am working on getting distributed to refugees in Kenya. I was testing it at home to see how much wood it used and how much time it took to boil water: the results showed that it used about 70% less wood than a traditional stove (1/2 pound of firewood to bring 2 liters of water to boil in 17 minutes).

KW

November 29, 2009 - Home to Machakos part 2

Yesterday we took a drive to visit Charles and his family in their village in the district of Machakos. The general location is a little over an hour from Nairobi, but the non-paved road to Charles' specific land makes it closer to 2 hours. Kristoffer described a lot of his first visit to Machakos so I will try not to be too repetitive, but there were definitely some strong impressions and funny stories from our day. First of all, the area is SO beautiful. They have recently been blessed with lots of rain - including all day yesterday - so our drive up Charles' mountain gave us a GREEN view of successfully growing crops.

This is the main building of Charles' homestead; it has a sitting room and two small rooms for his mother and sister. There is also a small kitchen building, and a building with a room for Charles and his wife. Then there is a building for his uncle close by, a latrine down the mountain, and their new building.

When we arrived, Grace met Emmanuel and Elsie for the first time.

They had made signs to welcome us.

Charles' wife Janet is possibly the sweetest women I've met in Kenya. They are not extremely poor by Kenyan standards, but live very simply compared to our lifestyle (no electricity, no plumbing) and were still extremely generous and hospitable to us. They bought 2 liters of Coca Cola and also of bottled water for us, which is a luxury they don't normally spend on. When Janet was giving me a tour of their land (4 small buildings) she showed me their 11 chickens ("kuku" in Swahili) and among them she showed me "your kuku" - the one Charles' mother had picked out just for ME. She asked if we wanted to take it home alive or if they should slaughter it for us first. I went with Plan B because what do I know about slaughtering a chicken?! This is a great honor that they would sacrifice one of their chickens for me - their chickens give them eggs and they eat them every now and again. By the time we were leaving 3 hours later, though, the chicken hadn't been slaughtered yet so Kristoffer said they could wait until next time we go back. I was secretly so relieved because I had a scary vision of trying to de-feather the chicken in our kitchen at home. Yikes! We did manage to come home with 2 dozen fresh eggs. They were so generous.

Another funny moment with Janet when the two of us were sitting alone with Grace and their baby Elsie (I thought her name was Hezrah before because of the way they speak that is what it sounds like...but it turns out to definitely be Elsie, which is a very cute name). She told me that she liked my hair and had never seen anything like it, and asked if she could touch it. I said yes and she spent the next few minutes just holding and rubbing and touching my hair! Then she said, "and there is so much WHITE!" Gee, thanks...I really needed a reminder that my hair is turning white! She also said, "it is funny how it goes like this (and made a swirling motion with her fingers to indicate my curls)". I told her they are called "curls" and she kept saying "coils". It was so funny and sweet. We discovered that Janet is just 4 months older than me.

Charles' son Emmanuel is 4 years old. We brought him some coloring and alphabet books with colored pencils and crayons and they said he was very happy, but he wouldn't say anything or crack a smile. Finally a little while before we were leaving I started to play "hide and seek" and "tag" with him and I ended up getting him to laugh and smile and play with me. He then took my hand and walked around with me and even let me hug him. When it was time for us to go he was crying loudly as we walked down the mountain to the car. So sweet. Janet said that he and I are now friends for life.

Me and my friend Emmanuel.

Janet and Grace.

The baby Elsie is just 4 months old. I have to say that I am a little worried about her. Kenyans don't really know how to breastfeed properly, so Elsie only nurses 2 or 3 times a day and isn't eating anything else. By comparison, Grace was still nursing every 2-3 hours until she was over 5 months old, and even know she still nurses about 5 times a day in addition to eating 3 meals and some snacks. Elsie doesn't look underweight, but she still sleeps almost the whole day (about 20 hours) and they said she isn't in the best of health. We gave Charles the morning off of work on Monday to take her to the hospital to be checked by a proper doctor.

Trying to get the babies to socialize.

The beautiful thing about children (babies) is that they don't see color or care about race. That is something that is taught to them. They just know kindness and friendship.

I also met Charles' mother (called "Mama Mze", and she is feeling better we were told), his uncle and his nephew who will be a senior in high school next year and is a really nice young man. We learned that Charles' family is very religious - they prayed when we arrived and before we ate. Grace ate ugali for the first time and definitely liked it!

Grace liked Charles' mother!

Before we came back to Nairobi we went into the town with Charles and gave him an early Christmas gift: a 3,200 liter water tank which he can use to collect rain for irrigation and other purposes. It was almost $200 but is a very good gift, especially for his wife and mother who usually walk up and down the mountain to collect water. We hope this will make their life a bit easier, especially when Charles is in Nairobi with us. If only we could have stayed to see them haul this enormous tank up the mountain to Charles' land!

Especially because I rarely get out of Nairobi and see the "real Kenya" I think it was an important trip for us to make. There was a lot of talk of his house project (almost finished, see below) and their crops and the weather. It was also interesting because there was a big funeral in the village yesterday for a very important man in the village; Charles said there had never been so many cars on the "road" going up to his land. We will go back to visit them again in February with Kristoffer's mom and Hans. It is really nice to feel positively connected to Kenyans; Janet says we are family now.

This is the new building which will have a sitting room, a visitor's room and a new room for Charles and his wife. Charles' nephew will move into the room Charles has now. You can see from the last pictures I posted that they have made progress on this building and it just needs concrete on the inside now. It was definitely bigger than I expected to be.

It was a great day for all of us!

LMW

November 26, 2009 - Thankful

Dear Grace Elizabeth,

Today you are nine months old and I don’t think it is a coincidence that it is also Thanksgiving. When I look at you right now, playing beside me, the list of things for which I am thankful could go on forever. I am thankful that…

• You are healthy.
• You are happy.
• You look like your Far so that every time I see you I am reminded of how much we love each other.
• You think most things I say and do are extremely funny. It is very good for my ego.
• You have an indelible and infectious laugh that never fails to make us smile.
• You only woke up twice during the night last night, as opposed to 5 times like the night before.
• Lately, you crinkle your nose and breath fast when you’re really happy.
• You give me kisses and dig your head into the crook of my neck to give me snuggly hugs.
• Your first word was/is “Mama”.
• You are so ticklish.
• You love hummus.
• You have the biggest, biggest smile every time Far comes home from work and you make eye contact with him for the first time.
• You bop your head and tap your foot when listening to music.
• You love to read books.
• You can wave.
• You nicely give me whatever you are holding when I ask you for it.
• You are a good traveler (this is key for our lifestyle!).
• You “talk” so much. I wonder who you got that from?
• Even though you are not a great sleeper, you do know and love your bedtime routine.
• On the weekends, Far lets me sleep in as long as I can/want and has quiet time alone with you.
• You flap your arms in happiness – several people have commented that you might fly before you crawl or walk!
• Even though you can definitely move around, you aren’t quite properly crawling, because I know that once you start I won’t get to sit down for approximately the next 18 years!
• I have the luxury of being able to chose not to work for the time being so that I can spend every day with you: teaching you and watching you grow and change and being with you for all of your “firsts”.
• You are beautiful and clever and funny.
• You reciprocate our unconditional love for you.
• We have a large, wonderful family and many dear friends in at least 5 different countries who are supportive of our life and who love you very much (in some cases when they haven’t even met you yet!).

Living in a country where life is truly a struggle for the majority of the people, I am extremely aware and grateful that my daily life with you and Far is always full of love, even at its toughest moments. In fact, gratitude is a very small word to explain the very big feeling I have.

Happy Nine Months of Life and Happy Thanksgiving to you, my sweet little girl.

Love always,

Mama

p.s. I am also very thankful that 43 years ago today your Nene and Pops got married. They are great role models, as husband and wife and as parents. Happy Anniversary to my Mom and Dad!

November 24, 2009 - At THAT Age

One day last week while Grace and I were out and about running some errands, Charles told me that he spoke to his wife on the phone and she told him that his mother was sick. I asked him what was wrong and he told me something that I didn't understand, but I told him I was sorry she was sick and that I hope that she will feel better soon. Then he says to me:

"Well, you know, at THAT age there's not much you can do."

I know that Charles is 38 so I was thinking that maybe his mother is around 60, which I don't consider to be very old. But when he made that statement, I started thinking she was 85 or 90! So I asked him her age; he thought about it and said, "Over 50!" I told him that where we come from that is not very old, to which he replied, "She was born in 1952 so she is 57."

Of course I knew that the life expectancy in Kenya would be lower than in the US or Europe, but I've never actually known what it really is. So, now I know that (according to the CIA World Factbook) the life expectancy rate for the total Kenyan population is, in fact, 57.86 years (slightly lower for men, slightly higher for women). Women here often look much older than they are because their life is hard and they work really hard from a young age doing a lot of physical labor (unlike their lazy counterparts, in my opinion). Our housekeeper Jonipher looks about 65 I think and she is 47 I believe. So, I suppose it is understandable why Charles thinks his mother is so old at THAT age!

For a bit more about Charles, here are some of the pictures that Kristoffer took of his family when he visited Machakos early in October (and you can see that his mother definitely looks older than 57):

Charles, his wife Janet, his mother, his sister, his niece, his uncle, his nephew, and his son in front (from left to right)

Charles, his wife, his son and daughter (daughter is under all those blankets - she is now almost 4 months old!)

Charles' mother and son (he sleeps with her every night)

The house Charles is building. He is VERY proud of such a strong door and windows and the house will a have a toilet inside, which is a pretty big deal. He is almost finished now after working on it for 2 years.

Kristoffer and Charles eating ugali and sikuma wiki (traditional Kenyan food)

Charles' son, mother, wife, niece and sister

Charles' wife Janet and daughter Hezrah

I printed these pictures for Charles yesterday so he could take them to his family and he was really appreciative of that. I'm sure they don't have family pictures taken very often! We might pay them a visit this weekend with Grace.

LMW

November 22, 2009 - Fourteen Falls

No, Grace did not fall down 14 times.

We took a little trip out of Nairobi on Saturday to visit a natural attraction called the Fourteen Falls: a waterfall site about an hour and fifteen minutes north of Nairobi. We've been talking about going to see the Falls for almost as long as we've lived here, although we have never actually talked to anyone else who has done it. It was just something we saw in our "Rough Guides" a long time ago and it kind of stuck as something we should do. After one week of being stuck in the house with a virus, I was eager to get out so we left at 8 in the morning to visit the Falls.

The Falls has the potential to be a great spot for those who want to get out of Nairobi without having to travel very far; there is great potential for camping and really appreciating a bit of nature. And, to give more context, we are used to visiting parks here that are run by the Kenyan Wildlife Service (the gov't), which are clean, well-maintained and employ trained, uniformed guides who are friendly and smart. Our expectation, therefore, was that the Falls would be similar to other places we have been.

The reality, however, is that the Falls are dirty and smelly and mostly unimpressive. When we arrived we paid a huge fee to "get in" to the site. Supposedly that money goes to the local council of the district, but we are not convinced (we wouldn't be surprised if the guys collecting the fee were pocketing some of it). Then we parked the car and were greeted by several young guys who wanted to be our "guide" of the Falls. Kristoffer asked how much and, of course, they told us not to worry about it, which classically foreshadowed the haggling that would take place at the end of our tour. The guy we ended up with was named "Steven" and within 5 minutes (or was it 2 minutes?) we could tell that he was drunk. Not only did he smell more-than-faintly of alcohol, but he started saying the same thing over and over and over (and over) again. If he told me fewer than 8 times that the river was called the Athi River then I am surprised. And, ok, maybe once just for fun at the end of our trip I did ask him, "What's the name of this river?" just because it was TOO EASY and I could not resist creating a bit of humor for myself. He repeatedly complimented Kristoffer's sneakers (so we were surprised that he never asked for them outright) and told us over and over and over (and over) again that his wife was dead and that he loved Grace and that I was a wonderful mama.

The water in the Athi River is essentially sewage from Nairobi and you can see below how dirty it is (imagine the smell to go with it). It was such a beautiful day and if the water had been bright blue to match the sky, it would have been a spectacular natural site. After looking at the falls, we took a bit of a "nature walk" with Stephen - who didn't tell us anything we didn't already know - to a small hippo pool and then we were ready to go.

So began the debate about how much to pay him. He asked for 2,000 Kenyan shillings, or about $25. Kristoffer offered him 500, or about $6.50, which I thought was even too generous. Stephen insisted on more money saying that this was his business and he had a large family to support, etc. So Kristoffer asked him, "When was the last time you drank alcohol?" Stephen thought that was irrelevant and kept trying to negotiate for more money, and Kristoffer kept asking him about when he last drank. After several minutes of this Kristoffer said, "Stephen this is your business. And if it were my business I wouldn't drink the night before and come to work drunk. If you had been sober and not told us the same thing so many times, maybe I would pay you more." So Stephen said he would take the 500. And as we were driving away Kristoffer reminded him from the car, "Stephen, stop drinking and use your money wisely for your family."

He (Kristoffer) was all fired up! As we were driving away and discussing this, he said to me, "I just hate Kenyan men. They are such a disappointment and I hate to see their wasted opportunities," which is a very good way of summarizing what we have learned in almost-two-years here. Kenyan men - and of course there are many exceptions to this generalization, but the reality is that generalizations usually exist for a reason - are lazy and spoiled and very, very frustrating.

So now we have been to the Fourteen Falls. I wouldn't say it was a wasted day at all, but it was a disappointing site, for me at least. Grace was very well-behaved and it was nice to get a little nature under our belts for the weekend.

LMW

November 18, 2009 - All in the Family

The Welsiens have been hit hard by a nasty stomach virus. Kristoffer was sick with it over the weekend, then Grace had it on Monday, and then Tuesday I was down for the count. Kristoffer actually had to stay home from work because I was so sick in the morning. Yuck. Luckily we all seem to be on the mend now, although I am still not really eating much. We all saw doctors to confirm that it was a virus and not a parasite of some sort, so that is good news. You know, this IS Africa.

And to lift our spirits, we got some cute pictures of Baby Nora in our email. I hope my sister won't mind that I share them here, because Nora is SO cute and her immediate family seems completely in love with her.

Maybe if Nora is a really nice cousin, she'll lend Grace some of that hair!

LMW