March 4, 2015 - On Nairobi

Close to four weeks ago we went to Nairobi overnight without Grace and Noah.  I needed some medical tests that couldn't be done in Dar (even though they were not invasive or unusual tests).  Last week we received the good news that all results were normal and I am AOK :) 

I have to say, though, that it was REALLY WEIRD being back in Nairobi.  Since we left three years ago, so much has changed.  They have built these enormous super-highway-fly-overs to divert traffic out of the city center.  The Chinese had started these roads before we left but now that they are complete, wow.  It gave Nairobi a whole new feeling of being a bit more modern and developed.  Because we wanted to try out the new highways, we took the diversion to our hotel instead of going through town.  We could see parts of Nairobi that we had never seen before, but it still took us an hour to get to our hotel.  Had we gone through town, it would have taken 2 hours I'm sure.  Unfortunately, traffic still seemed crazy.  In and around the parts of Nairobi where we lived and where we were visiting (namely the hospital), there were just so many cars, so many people. In addition, there was just construction everywhere.  We could see new malls, apartment building, office buildings, and hotels.  Development everywhere.  We went into one mall - one of our old stomping grounds, if you will - to get some medicine that I needed from a pharmacy, and were really surprised to see all of the new international brands they have there now.  Both the mall and the hospital had also changed in terms of security.  There was a very heavy feeling around us.

And really, when we lived there, I think I didn't realize how stressful it was!  It was just what we were used to - part of our everyday life.  But after being away, yikes.  It was really stressful! Worrying about the traffic and security was quite a burden, and we were only there for 30 hours.  Even though we had a good four years in Nairobi, it made us grateful to have gotten out when we did.  Especially as we drove past the shadow of the Westgate Mall.  There was an enormous pit in my stomach when I think about all of the hours we spent there. 

One thing that was VERY impressive was the new airport!  Wow!  How I wish they had that airport finished when we lived there. It was so bright and clean and modern, compared to the old one which was dark and stuffy and dirty!  I really enjoyed the 90 minutes we spent there and would not mind traveling through there again in the future.  

Kristoffer especially enjoyed talking to our drivers to/from the airport.  It was a little bit fun to show off our Kenyan knowledge a bit and ask some questions about the Kenya of today.  We tested our memory trying to figure out how to get places from where we were.  We did not drive by our house or anything like that...would have been too weird I think!  And we only had the chance to see one friend (thank you, Colleen!  That was a treat!).   It was an odd throwback of sorts and made me realize that someday in the future...the FAR future...I think it will be really cool to bring our kids back to Nairobi and show Grace and Noah where their lives began.  As much as it has changed these last three years, in the future Nairobi will be unrecognizable to us.  Until then, we are still here in Dar.  It was nice to come back to this place, which is comparatively slow and "quaint" and much more relaxed.  What a trip!

LMW

  

December 11, 2012 - Reminder

THIS ARTICLE describes why I would never drive in Kenya.  I have a feeling and perception that it is better in Tanzania which is why I drive now.  But yikes!

LMW

December 4, 2012 - Tough(er?) Life

Yesteryday I shared an article about Tanzania.  Today I am sharing an article about Nairobi.  It surprises me, but is also true, that I am still more "in tune" with Kenyan news and politics. I can't really explain it.  

But anyway...the article I am sharing is a reminder of what our daily security concerns were in Kenya.  And even though security is definitely still a concern here in Dar, it is not at the same level as it was in Nairobi.  As much as we liked our time in Kenya (as this journalist also shares), I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I read this article in a state of complete tension and then realized that this is not our life anymore.

LMW

November 3, 2011 - Snow or Hail

We received a huge downpour yesterday: elephants and hippos (aka cats and dogs)! Our WFP driver Joseph and I were standing under a shed waiting for the rain to slow down before running to the car that was parked outside at a distance.  When it started hailing hard, like small stones, it set off car alarms and the sound made talking impossible. 

Joseph picked up one of the hailstones and said “Look! snow!” 

The hail finished and I said, “That is not snow, it is hail.” 

He looked at me, "What is snow then?" 

"Snow is soft," I told him, “like a feather.” 

"But it is wet, no?" he asked. “It is only wet when it has melted,” I explained. 

He struggled to understand. 

We ran to the car and drove off. In the car he asked, "After the snow season, you have a dry period?"  

I was struggling to explain. "Well you know, where I am from there is always rain. It rains every month….like Western Kenya." 

"But what about the cows? How do they survive the winter?" he wanted to know. 

"Oh, we keep them inside all winter." 

"What do you feed them then?" 

...and the conversation went on. 

I love these interactions; I realized that the concept of four seasons is very difficult to comprehend if not experienced.

KW

September 27, 2011 - Hummingbird

Wangari Maathai died on Sunday.  She was a true hero in Kenya and around the world - an environmentalist and passionate advocate for women's rights, who faced many personal hardships fighting for both causes and won a Nobel Peace Prize.  You can read more about her here or, even better, you can read her autobiography, Unbowed.  

This video gives us just a small glimpse of the person she was - 

it is well worth the two minutes it takes to watch the whole thing:

She was a hummingbird, and she can rest now.
LMW

September 20, 2011 - Not Fast Enough

Many Kenyans walk to and from work, some for more than one hour each way. Pick-up trucks or other open vehicles are kind of a wild card. If Kenyans are walking and a pick up truck passes them in slow traffic, many will use the opportunity to jump in the back and get a quick, free ride home.

Today I saw two men walking while we were driving in slow traffic behind a pick-up. The two men started running for it. Five or six guys who were already sitting in the back of the truck were cheering them on. The younger of the two men managed to run up and jump in…but the other guy was maybe in this late forties…and he ran all the way until just a few feet behind the truck…but as he got closer we reached a hill and the traffic picked up….tough.  

KW

September 4, 2011 - The Pomegranate Incident of 2011

This blog could also be titled, "My Love/Hate Relationship with Nakumatt".  

In case you don't know, Nakumatt is the largest supermarket chain in Kenya.  It sells everything from groceries to appliances to cosmetics to books to furniture and more.  It is basically like a Kenyan Walmart, except it is an expensive store, catering to middle class and wealthy Kenyans, as well as the expat community.  And really, the "love" part of my relationship with Nakumatt is that it does, in fact, have a lot of things that I need or want to buy, including imported goods like Bisquick (pancake mix) and (as you will read below) pomegranate.  The "hate" part of my relationship stems from a number of "incidents" regarding their policies and procedures or staff.  I can't think of any expat I know who completely loves Nakumatt, because if you shop there regularly (or maybe even once!) you are bound to be frustrated by something or someone at some point.  Rose even told me that her previous employer said that the thing she would miss the least about Kenya was Nakumatt!  So anyway...

Some of the "incidents" I've had at (or issues I've had with) Nakumatt are:

• you pay a deposit on your 20 liter plastic water bottles and when you return the bottles, they give you store credit.  BUT they won't let you use your store credit for anything other than more 20 liter water bottles AND the water bottles have to be the SAME BRAND that you bought before.  So if you don't ever want to buy more water bottles they won't let you spend your credit AND if the water bottles you bought before are currently out of stock THEY WILL NOT LET YOU use your store credit to buy a different brand of water!  I have argued with various staff about this policy many, many times. I can feel my blood boiling just writing about it.  IT IS STORE CREDIT! JUST MONEY!  DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I USE IT FOR! IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU! The last time I fought this battle was two days before Noah was born, when I pretty much threatened the manager that I would give birth in the checkout aisle if they didn't let me use my credit for diapers.  It was not pretty (and Charles was waiting to take the shopping cart to the car and was SOOOO embarrassed I'm sure to be seen with the crazy, pregnant, mzungu Mama who was yelling at everyone).

• they price their cheese at the deli per 100 grams but they will almost never let you actually buy 100 grams of cheese!  I have had more than one fight with people who work at the deli when I've wanted to buy 100 grams of a particular cheese and they will say, "I can't cut it that small..." or "it's already cut and priced at 200 grams..."  Ok, that's fine: BUT THEN DON'T PRICE IT PER 100 GRAMS!  I can't even tell you how annoyed it makes me that they want me to buy more than I need, particularly because imported cheese is sooooo expensive in the first place, which my father learned when...

• one day he asked for a few slices of turkey at the deli. They gave it to him.  He came home.  I discovered, when I went to make a turkey sandwich, that they had put someone else's price sticker for (more than 100 grams of) imported cheese on his turkey package because he paid the equivalent of $20 for his turkey.  Lucky for the person who went home paying about $3 for their huge block of cheese!

• the people who are "experts" in a particular section almost never actually know what is in their section, where it is in their section, or what the heck you are looking for.  I know Kristoffer's mom has been sent on a wild goose chase for something that they didn't even sell in the store, because people kept telling her it was in a different section.

Lately, though, I've been a pretty efficient Nakumatt shopper and aside from the occasional cheese fight have not had anything new to complain about.  Until today.

Grace and Noah fell asleep on our way to run some errands, but Kristoffer and I managed to get what we needed at Nakumatt pretty quickly (Noah in his car seat, Grace in Kristoffer's arms), which included one pomegranate.  Pomegranates are imported here but have been "out of season" or something because we haven't seen any in about half a year.  Today we saw some!  And because we like them a lot and Grace is excellent at getting out those delicious little seeds, we bought one (even though they are pricey).

When the cashier had scanned everything, I noticed that the pomegranate was even more expensive than I expected. I mentioned the price to Kristoffer, who said it shouldn't be that much.  Sure enough, the sticker on the pomegranate was less than the price in the computer.  The cashier at first didn't understand my polite question:  "Shouldn't the pomegranate be Ksh 265 instead of Ksh 318?" He seemed puzzled and then mentioned something about it not being his fault.  Riiiiight, I don't care whose fault it is, I just want the price on the pomegranate.  So he had to call someone else to go back to the produce section and check the price.  That guy came back saying the Ksh. 265 price was right.  The register guy didn't know how to fix it because the computer is in charge and said the price was Ksh 318. So he had to call someone from the produce section to come look at the computer.  She also said that the Ksh price was correct but nobody knew what to do or how to fix the problem.  The register guy mentioned that it wasn't his fault, it was produce's fault that the price was scanning incorrectly.  Again, I didn't really care about the blame - I just wanted to buy the pomegranate (and yes, all of this over 53-freaking-shillings).  

So I asked him something like: "Can't you override it and manually put in the correct price?"  

To which he replied: "No, I can't fix it."  

My next question: "So, I can either pay too much for the pomegranate or not buy it at all?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "Paying the actual correct price of the pomegranate is not an option?"

Him: "Right."

Me: "Wow, that's a great way to lose a lot of business."

During this time, Grace woke up and needed to go to the bathroom, Kristoffer took the other groceries to the car, and the Dutch guy behind me in line was encouraging me to just steal the damn pomegranate.  I ended up asking the register guy to just take the pomegranate off my bill because my 2-year-old needed to go pee-pee on the potty.  He had to get a manager to do it, OF COURSE, so we were still waiting; when Kristoffer came back I left him to pay for the other groceries while I took Grace to the potty (and, sadly, she had an accident just before we got there, thank you very much, stupid register guy).  And I wonder how much money Nakumatt makes when stuff like that happens and people aren't watching carefully as their items go through the scanner.  Seems like a gold-mine to me! 

We came home without a pomegranate, sigh, but with another reason why, like Rose's previous boss, I too will probably not miss Nakumatt in our next life.  

LMW   

August 27, 2011 - Easy Target

On Thursday night I met two of my friends for dinner (yay for me!).  I took a taxi to get there after the kids were in bed and while stopped at a roundabout, we got hit from behind.  There was no damage to the car and thankfully not much damage to my neck (which I feared big time because I definitely jerked forward quite a bit and I have had whiplash before) BUT the reason for the crash is quite interesting.  In the car behind us, the driver was talking on his cell phone with his window rolled down...and a man just walking by (yes, Kenyans walk on the highway) grabbed the driver's cell phone out of his hand and ran away into the night.  So the driver got really flustered and didn't stop, obviously, when he got close to the taxi I was in.  What have we learned from this? When in Nairobi, do not a) talk on the phone while driving - seriously, drivers are crazy enough when they aren't distracted with a phone call; and b) have your window down all the way at night (even during the day, actually) because if you are in traffic you are then just inviting theft!  It was crazy!  Luckily, I wasn't too late for my dinner and my friends had a glass of wine waiting for me when I got there :)

LMW

March 19, 2011 - E is for Elephant

This evening, after our big morning at Grace's art exhibition, we all went to the David Sheldrick orphanage for elephants and rhinos. It has recently become pretty "famous" with a new IMAX movie about it and they have received a lot of money so we noticed that the place had been expanded and improved since our last visit. We were visiting an elephant that our friend Deborah adopted when she was here in January. While Grace went there two times in her first six months, she hasn't been since then so we knew she would just love seeing the elephants up close. Especially after her class has just spent one week learning about elephants!

When we arrived there, she was instantly fascinated by the dung beetles we watched while we were waiting for the elephants. Then she really liked the rhinos, but was even happier to see all the elephants! She saw that they drank milk just like she did amd she watched them eat. She even got to pet the youngest elephant's trunk. As much as we (Kristoffer, my parents and I) enjoyed seeing the elephants ourselves, it was really sweet for us to see her react to and try to interact with them! Noah, per usual, slept through the visit :) It was a great day!

Maxwell, the five-year-old blind rhino

Here come the elephants...

Did my mom find a new grandchild?

One of the elephant keepers.

Bottoms Up!

Some of Grace's faces!

LMW

December 10, 2010 - D-Day's coming to Kenya

I was going to write some commentary about the political situation in Kenya right now, but another Nairobi blogger did such a good job that I'll just direct you to read what she wrote here:

http://africaexpatwivesclub.blogspot.com/2010/12/off-with-their-heads-i-mean-off-to.html

I'll save my brilliant insight (cough, cough) for what happens after the 15th. Things could get interesting around here...just in time for Christmas! Reminds me of when we arrived 3 years ago!

LMW

Decembe 9, 2010 - The Old Masai Way

Yesterday, I was driven to a meeting outside of town by WFP Kenya’s oldest employee, a Masai called Stephen. I have driven with him before but I have to share the following with you.

Stephen must be well into his sixties; his father who is still alive had 8 wives, of which 4 have passed away. Between his 8 wives, the children numbered 20 girls and 30 boys. This year the whole family got together including the grandchildren: they were 320 people and ate an entire cow in one sitting.

As a boy Stephen left home after his circumcision. He didn’t want to follow the tradition and kill a lion; many Masai die doing this. He went to Tanzania and got a job with a white man and many years later got a job with WFP.

Stephen was reunited with his father many years ago, but only married one wife and also has a house. The Masai don’t normally buy houses and they normally marry many wives...or at least that is how it used to be.

Stephen’s father calls him a motorcycle, meaning that if one light fails he will be driving in the dark. This analogy refers to the fact that Stephen only took one wife which his father finds foolish.

Stephen has brought his mother to his house near Nairobi where she can easily get medical attention. She is 110 years old. As I have written earlier (maybe over a year ago now) Masai give children names after what happened the year they were born. You can be named after a big drought or flood or even “English” meaning that you were born when the British came to Kenya. One of Stephen’s mother’s names is “one shilling” because she was born when the British introduced the one shilling coin.

It is days like this - driving around with someone from a culture so different from mine - that I really appreciate what I learn from living in Kenya.

KW

December 2, 2010 - Kitu Kidogo

Today in the car driving Grace to school Charles said to me, "Madame...I don't think corruption in Kenya will ever end." Now if that isn't a sad way to start the day, I don't know what is!

Where did his statement come from?

Yesterday Charles went to the post office for me to pick up a package from my mother. It turns out that most postal workers were on strike for the second day of trying to pressure the government to increase their wages. It also turns out that there were a few postal workers still actually working, but in order for them to do their work they were demanding bribes from customers. In Swahili, "kitu kidogo" means "a little something" and if someone asks for "kitu kidogo" they are asking for a bribe. So when Charles requested my package they told him that they couldn't get it without "kitu kidogo." He called me with an update and I confirmed that under no circumstances should he pay them anything, he could just come home and try again another day. Well, Charles had other plans.

He basically staged a protest during which he stood there for 3 hours and told them that he wasn't leaving without the package or without speaking to the very head manager. So he just stood there and waited and waited and waited. He said they couldn't believe that he wouldn't just pay them something small to find his package. Eventually they caved and decided to just make him happy so he would go away, but by the time they found out where the package was he had to leave to run two more errands for me before picking up Kristoffer from work (reminder from blogs past: once they locate your package you still have to go through several levels of bureaucracy for stamps and signatures as well as make a trip to the bank to pay duty, so it could have taken up to another hour before he could actually leave with the package).

So he at least got documentation of where the package was located so that he can easily go back today or tomorrow to pick it up. And he didn't pay "kitu kidogo." It is discouraging to live in a country where that happens at every level of society on a daily basis. After he told me that he thinks corruption will never end, I asked him if it was at least any better than it used to be? And he said that yes, in fact, there is less corruption than in the past but still too much. So I suggested that maybe it is just a very long process and with time time time it will continue to disappear. I also congratulated him for standing up against corruption yesterday (literally, for over 3 hours). We hope that it is Kenyans like him who will change the status quo.

LMW

November 20, 2010 - Getting Married

Our driver Charles has been with his “wife” Janet for many years now. They have two children and Janet lives with Charles’ mother and nephew in his family’s rural home in Machakos (where he visits one or two times a month and whenever he has holidays from work with us). This what is known here as “an African marriage” as they are not legally/officially married and Charles has never paid the dowry to Janet’s parents. This is, however, not Charles’ fault. Janet’s parents have been in an African marriage for 30 years now as her father never paid the dowry to her mother’s parents, and according to the tradition Charles cannot pay Janet’s dowry until his father has paid her mother’s dowry.

Something is happening now though…apparently, the father has managed to pay his wife’s dowry, which gives Charles and Janet the chance to get married. They had set a date for August 2010 and then cancelled it, and then they set it for December this year but something came in the way. Normally the dowry is paid over many, many years because, as the Kenyans say, “it is not like you are buying a goat”. The dowry is mostly courtesy and a gift to the parents to help them get over the “loss” of their daughter, as she then will live with the husbands family (in this case, even though that has been happening for years already).

Charles had spoken to Janet’s family and they agreed that he didn’t have to pay anything right away and they could just figure it out over the years. This happens more and more often in some tribes now. However, when December started to come closer the old men from Janet’s village disagreed with Janet’s parents’ decision and demanded that Charles would come and see them to negotiate with them. Apparently, they want a lot up front even though they have no direct connection with Janet.

This obviously embarrassed Janet’s parent and you can’t really get married without the blessing from the old men. Janet was furious, she told Charles that she didn’t even wanted to get married now and that they should stay together forever without the approval of the wazees (the old men). Charles remained calm but they did cancel the wedding (this was all communication over the phone as Janet’s parents live over 200 miles from Charles’ rural home, but they are the still from the same tribe), which we think was a big disappointment to Charles.

On a completely separate note, Lisa and I have been thinking for a long time that we should contribute to Janet’s education as a primary school teacher. Janet has amazing grades from high school and wants to be a teacher so badly, but for reasons I have never completely understood Charles priority has been to build a new house and do some other things before he would save up money for his wife’s two-year education. Her education will allow her to earn considerably more money than him and secure their family financially. Anyway, we really like Janet and think she is a very smart lady, and we also strongly believe that supporting women – and teachers - is the way to help developing countries the most. So, we’ve made an arrangement with Charles’ family and will now pay everything up front for Janet's education and he will pay off half of the costs in small increments, which will be deduced from his salary. Janet will start the 3^rd of January and she, Charles and his mother are profoundly happy. Charles said one morning: “I don’t think she sleeps much these days” (out of excitement).

They haven’t told Janet’s parents yet and it is perfect timing. They will tell them when Janet enrolls in January and Charles is replaying the future conversation over and over in his head; he laughs out loud as he tells me how the conversation will go… something like this: “So Janet is going to be a teacher as I have enrolled her in a private teachers college.” The parents would then be sooo happy and say “REALLY, Charles! How much are you paying?” Charles shall then reply: “ONLY USD 2,000 (KES 160,000)!” He wants to tell people that he is richer than he is and will likely leave out our involvement in helping her attain her education. But that will give them a very good reason for why they are not getting married now: Janet is very busy getting an education!

KW

September 30, 2010 - Another One Bites the Dust

Ok, so that isn't exactly the nicest title for this blog...but, yesterday we fired our housekeeper Jonipher. It is never easy to end a person's livelihood, even when you honestly know that it is the best decision for your family. It was a sad and awkward conversation, but in the end we did it and are relieved to have done it.

Over the last few months we have noticed that Jonipher hasn't been working that hard. After she leaves I am often finding things to dust everywhere and realizing what she didn't do during the day. We have asked her, showed her, almost begged her to wash her hands with soap several times a day, but still she won't do that. She also hasn't respected the hours of our contract: she'll come late most days and then think it is OK to stay late in the evening, which we don't like at all. No matter how many times I have talked to her about being on time, she is never in a rush to get here and is unapologetic about it. So in the end, even though she cooks nice vegetarian food and does a good job with our laundry and is pleasant to have in the house, we decided that her slacking was stressing us out too much. She would be better off with a family who wasn't as concerned about some of these issues or maybe someone who isn't in the house most of the time to see what she is or isn't doing.

She seemed genuinely surprised and had explanations for each of our critiques; she asked to be put on a warning system and for us to reconsider, but the warning system didn't work with Ida and it is too awkward when the employer (me) is around all the time. We compensated her well (3 months severance, which is A LOT in Kenya) and provided her with a general reference letter because we do think she is a nice person and hope she can get another job that is maybe a better fit for her. As Jonipher was leaving she said to Kristoffer, "I hope you don't think I've been stealing," which is an indication to us that at some point she probably has stolen from us (and that is not a total surprise either...a couple of times something has mysteriously gone missing and we have wondered if she was responsible). Yikes.

In the end she went nicely and politely and said she would love to come back if we changed our mind. There was no screaming or drama or trying to take our things, as when we let Ida last year. And so now we are left to figure out what to do next. There are a few realities that we are dealing with:

1. As expats, we are expected to employ Kenyans
2. Kenya is very, very, very dusty (you can dust the whole house from top to bottom one day, and then the next day see the new layer of dust)
3. We have a very big house
4. I am increasingly pregnant with an active toddler who likes my attention 150% of the time, if possible, and will eventually not be pregnant but will have a newborn and that same active toddler

We have to figure out exactly what kind of help we need and what kind of schedule would actually be helpful for our family if someone works in our home. We are hoping to find someone young (in her 20s...unlike me, sad), because a lot of the attitude I have gotten from the women we've hired has seemed related to their age over mine. We are also going to interview more people this time than we have in the past and in the meantime, we'll be a bit busier with housework than we normally are.

After almost three years in Kenya, employing staff and having people work in our home is still the thing that we dislike the most and are probably the worst at. It is uncomfortable and awkward and stressful...because it is cultural, personal, emotional, and professional all at the same time. I feel we are learning each time and one day - some day! - like so many of the more experienced expats we know, we will get it right.

LMW

July 16, 2010 - Only in Kenya

In the last month we have had three visitors from the US, which has been really fun but also a bit time consuming away from this blog! Johanna is a friend from college and she came to Kenya for a couple of weeks with her friend Sharon (below). We had a great time with them!

My friend Karen, who I worked with for 2 months in Washington, DC, has been here for the last week (sorry, we haven't taken any pictures yet!) and has been a great guest. She and Grace are best friends now and we're showing her all the ins and outs of Nairobi. When she leaves we have more visitors coming: my friend Meghan from high school and her husband! So fun to have so many Americans around!

In other news, my wallet was stolen two weeks ago. Of course this can happen in any country to any person at any time and was not really that big of a deal. Yes, I was annoyed and inconvenienced about having to call banks in the US, Denmark and Kenya but it was a pretty small blip on the screen. I dealt with it, got over it and never thought I'd think of it again. UNTIL...I got a phone call yesterday from a branch of my local bank saying that they had my wallet! Somebody actually turned it in! All the cash was gone, of course, but all of my cards and identification were still there. Inside there was also a name and phone number of the guy who turned my wallet in to the bank, but I can't decide if I should contact him (he likely wants a reward...) because what if he was the one who stole it in the first place?! Tough call, but really ONLY IN KENYA! I would have never gotten my wallet back in the US - thank you, Kenya!

In addition to visitors and travels, we've been busy with Grace being busy, busy, busy. She is into everything: running around, playing with everything, and talking up a storm! We think she is at a very fun age and enjoy all the funny little things she says and does. In two more weeks we are traveling to Denmark and really look forward to seeing all of our family and friends there.

LMW

May 4, 2010 - Staff Stories

Last week proved to be another interesting week with our staff. Friday in particular.

I was due for a conversation with Jonipher about her work and it was pay-day so that seemed like a good time. We had agreed to consider Jonipher for a raise after she worked for us 8 months (per her request) and we did talk about it a lot, but decided against it. For one, she is late to work every single day and stays much later in the evening than we would like her to in order to get her work done. She also talks on her phone A LOT during the work day (also contributing to her staying late) and finally, she makes a lot of money already. That sounds a little strange, particularly in Kenya, but between the salary she makes from us and the salary she makes from her other family, she is paid more than any other housekeeper I have ever heard of (and most of those include live-in, 6-day-a-week housekeepers - trust me, I've asked around) AND she is paid more than both educated teachers and registered nurses who have four years of formal education. So really, no raise. I explained all of this to her in what I thought was a clear and friendly way and she said she understood what I was saying, but she abruptly stopped talking to me and was pretty rude before Grace and I went out for the day. I encouraged Kristoffer to talk to her later that day (he had the day off from work for May Day) and she told him that I told her that I didn't want her to speak again at all, as opposed to me telling her that she shouldn't speak on her cell phone while she is working. Kristoffer talked with her and thought everything was cleared up (he also did a little seminar on hand-washing for her because that is another battle altogether).

Come Monday morning I tell her that I'm sorry we had a misunderstanding, and she goes on again about how she couldn't believe that I don't want her to talk anymore (again...REALLY not what I said or how I said it) and that we went back on our promise to give her a raise. So I had to go through the whole speech again, speaking very slowly and politely. Again, she said she understood - which probably means that she still doesn't - and went about her business, not totally like "normal" but not as mad and rude as on Friday. I tell you, having staff is definitely my least favorite part of living here.

Then there was Charles. Poor Charles. He got into a car accident on Friday on his way to pick me and Grace up from a birthday party. It seems likely that he caused the car accident, because we think he was rushing: the sooner he got us home, the sooner he could leave to see his family for the weekend. We don't know for sure, but that is our hunch and at any rate he didn't hit anyone but was actually hit by two cars. Charles was fine and our car was fine, but there was some damage to the two cars that hit him. The bigger problem was that one of the drivers that hit him was a Kenyan that we know pretty well and this man unfortunately didn't treat Charles very nicely. He spoke to him in a very degrading way using foul language AND it appears that he paid the policeman a bribe to report that Charles was at fault (even though the law says if you get hit, it is not your fault...whoever hits you is at fault). When Kristoffer arrived at the scene the man we knew acted very charming but Kristoffer says he looked at Charles as if he were the devil and he was very patronizing to Kristoffer, "Oh your driver made a big mistake." He intimidated Charles so much that he was afraid to speak and probably thought we would fire him. Any given person could get into an accident in Nairobi on any given day, because everyone drives by his or her own rules and some drivers have no rules at all (this is why I don't drive here!), so we wouldn't let Charles go for such a minor incident. But the situation has us very upset and disappointed: on a personal level, because we know this man and he acted so inappropriately, but on a much larger level because corruption in Kenya shows up at every corner and in every interaction.

So here were are 5 days away from going home, and I'm ready for it. I always get really annoyed with everything here right before I know I'm going home. Don't even get me started on...our recent four days without internet...or our greedy landlord increasing our rent by a large percentage even though she did that last year...or some pretty sad news that we got from the By Grace Orphanage about a fraudulent promise of financial aid from a UN impostor...or my visit to a cafe yesterday (our house was being fumigated so I had to take Grace out for lunch) when they told me they had a high chair for Grace but had really lent it to another cafe so it wasn't even there to begin with but they didn't tell me until after I ordered food ("we do have one, it just isn't here..." AAAHHHH!!!!) and so I had to hold her and feed both of us at the same time which made for a really unpleasant lunch...and oh yeah, I said don't get me started...

At least today I have both book club and mom's night out with my friends which should bring enough laughter to get me through the next couple of days and well on our way (door to door we have a 32-hour trip home this time!). Now all I can think is that the water in Boston better be clean for me by Sunday night because the Dunkin Donuts at the airport is calling my name.

And this little girl is ready for America too...

LMW

January 8, 2010 - Suspicion

Yesterday Grace and I went swimming at the private school with our neighbors and afterwards we met Kristoffer at the UN for lunch. While we were driving from the school to the UN, a very strange thing happened.

We were stopped at an intersection behind about 5 cars and there were 2 cars behind us. A woman was walking on the side of the road and approached our car. The passenger window was partially down and she started to speak to Charles in Swahili. She greeted him and he said, "sema", which means "tell me" or "speak". Then she said something, he replied, she gave him a dirty look and said something else and then continued to walk. Then this:

Lisa: Ehat was that all about?

Charles: She asked me for a lift, but I don't even know her.

Lisa: That's strange.

Charles: Yes, that is very strange.

Note that the woman didn't ask any other car for a ride and when I looked back after we drove away she was getting into a matatu.

At lunch I told Kristoffer what happened and we agreed that now we have an actual reason for thinking that Charles is giving people rides in our car. I mean, why else would a Kenyan approach a random UN car and ask for a ride?

When we sat down to dinner last night, Kristoffer opened our conversation with: "Well, Charles is definitely up to something." Apparently when he picked Kristoffer up from work Charles told Kristoffer about the incident. Kristoffer pretended I hadn't told him and Charles said something like, "I didn't even know her so I don't know why she was asking me." Kristoffer said he sounded like someone who got caught and was trying to get out of it.

When we were in Denmark we ordered a GPS tracking device for our car that will allow us to use Google maps to see where the vehicle is at all times. Kirsten and Hans will bring it in February and we will be eager to determine if our suspicions are true. Of course, I reminded Kristoffer that Charles might only be driving people along his exact route from our house to the UN...but soon we will be able to see for ourselves. And then again, if we confirm our suspicions, what should we do about it anyway?

Oh, Kenya. You never cease to amaze me.

LMW

January 4, 2010 - A Kenyan Homecoming

We had such a wonderful visit to Denmark and were blessed to have a very easy and pleasant trip back to Kenya. Grace was the perfect traveler: from 3:15 am when we woke up to 9:15 pm when our luggage came out of the baggage claim, she didn't cry at all. Maybe 3 or 4 whines, but no crying! She crawled around the plane, waving to other passengers and speaking her favorite words: dook-a-dook-a-dook-a-dook. She has learned to pop her own ears without any help from us or without nursing so she was literally an angel on take off and landing. Grace even took a 2 1/2 hour nap during the day, which is rare for her under even the best of circumstances. I actually watched a movie and was THRILLED when the KLM flight attendants walked around offering an afternoon snack of chocolate ice cream! Have you ever heard of such a delightful airline surprise? When we arrived in Nairobi, Charles was waiting to pick us up with our car and there was no traffic getting home. It was all just perfect.

Until.

We got home and couldn't open our front door. It turns out that Jonipher, our housekeeper who had come this past Friday to clean the house before our arrival, had left a key in the front door inside the house so we couldn't open it from the outside. And we didn't have a back door key with us. Sheesh! She insisted on the phone that we had left the key in the front door, but that is impossible since we locked the front door from the outside when we left. Of course it was a mistake that anyone could make and we really weren't mad, just SOOO tired and wanted to go to sleep so it was unusually bad timing! Luckily we have nice neighbor-friends who let us come in to use the bathroom and sit down. We were in our house by 10:45 pm which wasn't too bad; luckily Jonipher doesn't live too far away.

We learned from Charles on our drive home last night that all of the matatus in Kenya are on strike for the next 3 days. The traffic police apparently make them pay exorbitant bribes which causes them to increase passenger fares. As a result, the countrywide strike started last night and matatu drivers are hoping the government will intervene with the traffic police on their behalf. When we were out this morning it was totally weird to be driving around Nairobi with no matatus. It almost didn't feel like Nairobi at all. We saw scores of Kenyans walking, walking, walking without "public transportation". It would take Jonipher a couple hours to walk to our house this morning so I called her to find out how/if she would come to work. This is how our conversation went at 8:30 (she is due to work at 9):

Lisa: Jonipher, are you going to be able to come to work today?

Jonipher: Well I am waiting for a matatu now.

Lisa: But isn't there a strike? I don't think any matatus will come.

Jonipher: Exactly.

I imagine if I didn't call her she just wouldn't have showed up. Instead, I sent Charles to pick her up. Then Grace and I ran off to do some errands. First we went to the bank to pick up new ATM cards. Ours expired in December and they don't mail you a new card, you have to get it at the bank. At the bank I waited for the specific "ATM card" woman. She keeps all the new cards alphabetized in a file box. She quickly found Kristoffer's card but searched and searched for mine. Our conversation went like this:

Lisa: Shouldn't my card be right after my husband's card if they are alphabetized?

ATM Lady: No.

Lisa: Why not?

ATM Lady: Because your name doesn't start with K.

Lisa: Oh. You alphabetize by first name, not last?

ATM Lady: Yes.

And where did my ATM card turn up? Under the letter M because they didn't print my first name on the ATM card and it just says "M Welsien". I told her that I want a new card with my first name on it and this caused a bit of confusion. She told me that I just got a new card and it is good until 2014. Why would I want another one? At that question a movie popped into my head of me at the grocery store. It is the only place that takes an ATM card as a debit card here and I often pay for groceries with my card. When you pay with the card you have to show ID and I could picture the confusion on the checkout guy's face when my ATM card says "M Welsien" and my ID says "Lisa M Welsien". The movie in my mind showed me going home without my groceries so I insisted on a new ATM card, which will take 2-4 weeks to issue.

On to the grocery store we went, where Grace napped as I shopped. When we came out of the mall, Charles pulled out of his parking spot to drive up and pick us up. I watched him try to get around a double-parked vehicle and accidentally reverse into a huge concrete beam in the parking garage. Whoops! Luckily there was no damage to the car except for a loose reflector on our bumper, but he was SOOOO embarrassed that he almost couldn't talk. He quickly said "sorry" and looked the other way, completely blushing. I think an American or European would have laughed it off and made a joke, but he was serious and upset. I felt bad for him I started asking him questions about his family as a distraction. That seemed to ease the tension until we got home. Then he was still so flustered that he dropped a bag of groceries, cracking 2 glass bottles of ginger ale and he knocked over 2 clothes racks of drying clothes in the driveway. The poor guy is mortified and hiding out in the staff rooms at the back of our house.

Grace is up to her usual tricks, namely playing with/reading her books and crawling like a super hero. She seems happy to be back in her house with all of her new toys from Christmas. She is also up to some new tricks: she crawls for the stairs a lot (it's like she knows that we can't seem to fix the gate and that it is the one place we really don't want her to go!), crawled under our bed and got stuck there, and discovered that my closet is full of shoes. We are getting back to our regular life. Every now and then Grace looks around as if she can't find something. I think it is actually someone she is looking for. Is it Farmor? Hans? Or Far? Or all three! Poor baby has to get used to it just being the two of us again!

We have only been in the country for 18 hours, but they certainly have been eventful. That was quite the Kenyan homecoming.

LMW

December 9, 2009 - You Know You Live in Kenya When...

• there is an article in the newspaper about how an airplane hit a warthog on the runway.
• your neighbor calls at 7:30 pm to ask if you just heard gunshots; you are not too sure so the neighbor calls the compound security who tell her that it was probably just a car backfiring; your neighbor calls you back and tells you to stay clear of the windows just in case AND you are not alarmed.
• you are at a dinner party and the power goes out at 8 pm; it is pitch, pitch, pitch black (no security lights or anything) and the conversation just continues as if nothing had happened for several minutes before the power comes back on; nobody moves, nobody stops talking, nobody's tone of voice gets tense.
• your house has resident mosquitos, and you've started to name them.
• your housekeeper told you today that she doesn't wash her hands with soap (and therefore you are not surprised that your family had a stomach virus a few weeks ago).
• your carpenter tries to charge you $20 for a small piece of wood (5x the actual price) and refuses to negotiate because you're a Mzungu.
• a monkey crawls into the Deputy Country Director's office at work (she is #2 at WFP) and poops on her desk.
• you realize that the sunflower seeds on your desk have been stolen and nobody had access to your office...except the monkey sitting outside your window.
• you've been typing for one hour on your keyboard when a gecko lizard suddenly crawls out from under it.
• it takes you 3x as long to drive home from the store as it should because you are stuck behind a man pulling a cart full of furniture and there is too much traffic in the other direction to pass him.
• you travel 5 miles to work and every day see that a different traffic accident has occurred en route.
• you drive 45 minutes to visit an orphanage and when you leave 1 hour later it takes you 3 hours to get home.
• you drive through red lights as if red means "go".
• none of the above mentioned events shock, frighten, disturb or surprise you. Ever. You don't even flinch.

LMW & KW

December 8, 2009 - Reality Check

Kristoffer and I always feel that our trips away from Kenya are timed perfectly because they always come when we are really frustrated with Kenya, or when we have "Kenya fatigue" as Kristoffer calls it. This upcoming vacation to Denmark for the holidays is no different.

One of the realities of living here is that you can't trust anyone. And I used to think that "anyone" meant "any total stranger or partial acquaintance", but really it is "anyone" as in "any Kenyan you meet at all and even Kenyans you know very well". Here's what I am rambling on about:

We had a visitor from the US over the weekend, a friend of a friend named Susan, and we spent a lot of time telling her about our life here. The "don't trust anyone" conversation came up and Kristoffer revealed that he doesn't even trust Charles. I was somewhat shocked, because I do (or did) trust Charles. He is a good driver and I feel safe in the car with Grace while he is driving. That's trust, right? I give him money to do some shopping and sometimes send him on errands that I don't want to do. That's trust, right? We traveled to his village, brought gifts to his family and broke bread with them. There has to be some trust there, right? Apparently, not so right.

Kristoffer said that he has suspected for a long time that Charles is stealing fuel from us and is possibly using our car to give rides to people for money. We have a fuel card at the UN that we put money on, and then Charles uses it to fill our tank. Kristoffer thinks he fills the tank too often and must either take it to a place for some of it to be sucked out for him to sell, or he has a friend at the fuel station that does it for him. Of course we have no evidence, this is just his hunch but, of course, I am very upset about it. First I was mad at Kristoffer for not telling me his suspicion but, in his defense, he said that he knew how much it would upset me and how personally I take this stuff. Apparently, the trick is to realize that if Charles is stealing it is not personal for him, he is just doing it because he thinks he can't get by without doing it and maybe he thinks we owe it to him. It is like Kenyans are born and bred to think that way. Maybe if he knew how personally I took it he would stop? But I doubt that!

So now we are coming up with ways to keep track of his mileage and fuel economy more closely to see if Kristoffer's suspicions are true. It just kills me. The tough part is, even if we have evidence of what Kristoffer suspects, we probably won't fire Charles because then we would just have to find another good driver who would probably do the same thing or worse. Sheesh! So it is like we are caught up in this world of pretending not to know what we really do know and so seeming to him (or "them") like we are so naive, whilst all along we really do know what their game is but are just letting them get away with it because that is what you do here.

And another thing...

When we bought our car it was recommended to us to put a "LoJack" type of car tracking system in our car given that car-hijacking is so common here. So we went to the Kenyan version of "LoJack" called "Track It" and had it installed. After one year it expired and we had it installed again on the day that Grace was born (thank you Charles). Well apparently a few months after that, one "Track It" customer called and said his car had been stolen and a few minutes later the company called back and said that they located it in Elodret, a city in the Rift Valley several hours away. Turns out the guy had suspected that they were a fraud and was just testing them; his car was at his house the entire time. It was a huge scandal and the company went under. I had too much of a baby-brain to know this happened until this past weekend when we drove by the place and asked Kristoffer why they were closed down. Can you believe that?!

Even legitimate UN-recommended companies here are fraudulent. There is corruption at every single level of society. You quite literally can't trust ANYONE, which does not say much for the society at large. It is an extremely sad and lonely way to live, and I am really grateful to have other expats here with us that I do trust so that I don't lose my faith in my humanity altogether. It is good for us to not be naive about Kenya anymore, but it is also just so sad. The old saying "ignorance is bliss" was definitely true in this case.

Now THAT is a reality check.

LMW