January 9, 2014 - Staff Stories

While certainly much more comfortable in my "employer" skin than I used to be, having household staff remains one of the most interesting parts of living the expat life.  We have definitely become completely dependent on having staff - especially when pregnant! - because they do make our life here so much less difficult and stressful than it would be without them.  And they also make it really tempting to never go home again, where we will most certainly have to do our own laundry, iron our own clothes, wash our own dishes (in the dishwasher, at least) and clean our own toilets!  

Discussing things like contract and salary terms and conditions, over-time and vacation days, etc. always feel totally awkward to me because we are in our house - not in a place of business!  I always end up feeling horrible during these discussions, even though I know I have learned a lot and gotten better at them.  It is a delicate balance for sure, communicating these things with East Africans who have very different cultural perceptions and understandings than we do.  

But I do really like our staff, Rose and Christopher, and especially enjoy moments when we are together in the house laughing about something or trying to "teach" (maybe just explain?) some cultural differences to each other.  That part of having staff is great.  It is also very educational because sometimes I overhear or am told things that really remind me of how different our two worlds really are.  They never cease to surprise me!  This week there were two surprises.

First - Rose's daughter traveled back to her boarding school on Tuesday. She had to be there by 2 pm and her aunt took her on a bus, which was late.  So that Karen, Rose's daughter, arrived at school 20 minutes later than she was supposed to be there.  Not only would the teachers not let her in the gate of the school's compound, they told her she had to return the next day with an adult, or sleep outside the gate until the next day.  Her aunt was no longer with her and the teachers would not let her use one of their phones to call anyone.  Karen somehow got an askari (guard) to let her use a phone to message Rose, who called back to hear the story and could then try to get through to her sister or the school.  I think Rose harassed the school enough that they eventually - though several hours later - let Karen in, but they told her she would punished.  This would most likely mean that she would be woken up at 4 am to tend to the school's crops before breakfast.  CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THAT THEY WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO MAKE A TEENAGE GIRL SLEEP OUTSIDE THE GATE BY HERSELF OVER NIGHT!  No security risk there!  AHHHH!  The whole thing was maddening. Rose was really upset, understandably, and frustrated (at the school and at her sister, who would not go back to the school to help sort the situation out) and I kept telling her: Don't stop calling!  Just keep bothering them!  Don't let it go!  They will give in!  Crazy strict Kenyans.  

Next - Christopher tells me at the same time as the Karen situation is going on, that he has malaria.  Now granted, he didn't know this.  But he felt like he had a fever (as he prepared our dinner.  I told him: put down the veggies!  Please!) and to all East Africans a fever = malaria.  They just assume.  I told him to go right to a clinic for a malaria test.  Often here people are incorrectly diagnosed and treated for malaria because it is just "easy" for clinics to do that.  But I hoped he would get an accurate result.  He didn't come to work yesterday but he did come today.  He said it was not malaria but some other kind of infection which they could see in his blood work.  So he was getting antibiotic injections and painkillers for a bad headache yesterday, and was starting to feel better today.  He worked half of the day before I got home from work and sent him BACK home because I was not convinced that should be working yet. I am happy that he doesn't have malaria of course, but also that he did not get a false positive malaria test and, therefore, medication he doesn't need.  That is a really big problem here from what I have heard.

There is always something interesting to learn or hear about from our staff.  In an otherwise totally expat/cushy environment where we are not at all faced with the "real" life of Africans, we do get some understanding of their realities this way.

LMW  

July 17, 2013 - New Man in My Life

I know you probably already think we are spoiled with a housekeeper/nanny who works for our family full time. And we are.  Even if that is the status quo around here and even if we have way fewer Tanzanian staff then everyone else we know, we are still spoiled.  It is a luxury we will definitely miss whenever it is that we are not here anymore.  But since our days here may or may not be numbered (job security, oh job security! where art thou!), we decided to up the ante on our spoiled-luxury.  

And to backtrack a bit, we have had a variety of different attempts at having a cook in the last several years:  

• first full time (mentally unstable) housekeeper in Nairobi was also supposed to be a cook but she was pretty awful (and also mentally unstable)
• next part time housekeeper was also a part-time cook and was OK at that, but nicked a few things that didn't belong to her and in general lost her willingness to work hard over time
• third attempt in Nairobi was our once-a-week cook who made 6 meals in one day that we froze and ate throughout the week.  She was decent - but a big personality to have around, and also we missed eating anything FRESH.
• fourth cook: a great guy here who was a  really good cook but was WAY too overbooked and did not make us his priority.  He stopped meal planning altogether and would send me badly timed text messages with ingredients to buy, and would then not show up to cook.  It made my blood boil and we've been separated for a few months now.

This brings us up to date, and our newest effort is a man named Christopher (for real) and he has been cooking in our neighborhood for different hotels or families for the last 15 years, although he comes from Malawi originally.  The family he worked for for 3 years just moved and I was lucky enough to be the first one to interview him and offer him a job. He had quite a few interviews and offers, but we mutually picked each other I guess. He will work for us full time and will do most of the shopping, cooking, cleaning the kitchen/dishes and if he has time might help with the ironing.  This also frees Rose up to spend more time with the kids IF/WHEN I get a new or more full-time job (for which I am always on the lookout).

I know - it sounds ridiculous when I read it.  I even feel a little guilty as I am typing it out.  But I actually dislike cooking, am not particularly good at it, and it especially stresses me out to do here where you can't get what you can get at home and have to go to 4 different stores to find the ingredients you need.  So now that is his job.  We're only on day 3 so I should not sing his praises yet (I've done that before!  It always starts out great, right?!), but he is just a very nice man who communicates well and can cook.  What's not to like?!  Also when he and I went to the three stores together on Monday, I realized that EVERYONE who works EVERYWHERE knows him by name and was happy to see he has a new boss, etc.  He has good street cred, which is always a plus in my book.

So even if we are on our way out of the country in February (which, again, may or may not be the case) we can at least enjoy our last opportunity to be spoiled rotten.  Let's just see if his chicken pot pie is as good as the last guy's!

LMW

July 16, 2013 - Picking out a Pikipiki

In Kiswahili, a motorcycle is called "pikipiki" and Grace and Noah's school has a large fleet of cheap, Chinese plastic, ride-on "pikipikis" (like the one below, only all black/blue/red/gray with no fancy stickers or amenities) that our kids love. Some time back when Kristoffer went to South Africa he brought one home for the kids because it was so cheap there.  And they love that one too.  It makes for great, classic kid-fun now that Noah is tall enough to ride it.

 

The only problem, actually, is that we have only had the ONE pikipiki.  At some point last week it occurred to us that our kids would be much happier to play outside if we had TWO pikipikis so that they could play together.  We know what store (a bit of a distance away) sells them so decided to take the kids on a field trip there (to the oldest indoor "mall" here).  But first, we told them that it is not Christmas or their birthday so they really don't need to get a present, but we think it would be fun to have one more at our house.  So, we said if they wanted to help buy the pikipiki with their own money we would go get one.  They agreed.

When the kids cracked open their banks for the first time, out spilled a lot of Tanzanian coins (as expected) and also, as a complete surprise to us, some Tanzanian cash!  I asked Grace, "where did you get all this paper money?" and she said, "Rose!"  So I was pretty curious to ask Rose about that when she returned.

Everybody put their cash and coins in a bag and we went to the store.  The pikipikis were indeed more money than we wanted to pay for cheap, Chinese plastic but we just really felt that they (and we) would be so happy with another pikipiki.  Luckily they had all that cash and we chipped in the rest.  (I think it was $15 more expensive than we would have paid for it at Target or Walmart at home). 

We brought the pikipiki home and once we sorted out which kid would ride which pikipiki, we basically haven't seen Grace and Noah since except for meals and bedtime.  They LOVE playing together outside and are having so much making up all kinds of games and pretend stories with those pikipikis.  Totally worth the money (and why, dear God, did we not think of this before the first two weeks of summer vacation when they were rotten and fighting all the time?!).  Best cheap, Chinese plastic we ever bought.

And also Rose came back!  So I was very eager to ask her about the cash!  She told me that when she first started working for "mzungus" in Nairobi, another Kenyan housekeeper told her that if she finds money in the clothes when she does the laundry that she can keep the money.  Finders Keepers!  But, she always felt that it was wrong to do that because it would be like stealing.  So if she finds any cash in OUR pockets or clothes when she does the laundry, she puts the money into Grace and Noah's piggy banks!  Which explains the mystery money (about $25) we found.  And, also it was a nice reminder that she is not only hardworking but also honest.  Yay for Rose and yay for our pikipikis :)

LMW

p.s. in case you haven't caught on yet, it is just really fun to say "pikipiki," which is why at our house we only say "motorcycle" when talking about a big bike that grownups ride.

October 27, 2012 - Chicken Pot Pie

So we have once again descended further into the world of "it won't be like this when you move back home..." by hiring a cook again.  You might remember Syprose from our Nairobi days.  She came one day every week, did a big shop and then made 6 meals that we would freeze and eat throughout the week (all for the hefty price of $12.50 a day).  And while we have been really happy to have only one staff person here in Dar (trusty Rose, that is), I do really miss having someone help with the cooking.  Rose occasionally makes us African food for dinner, which is nice, but just a few times a month.  She is too busy with other responsibilities to be a full time cook - but so am I (considering how long it takes to do everything here)!  So our new guy, Kennie, works at a local restaurant during the day - within walking of our house - and comes to us 3 evenings a week to make dinner.  We plan menus, I shop, he cooks.  

He is more expensive than Syprose ($27 a week) BUT is also a better cook than she was with a lot more experience (he used to work at luxury safari camp and some restaurants and for other expats) AND he is so low-maintenance (which Syprose was not).  He and Rose get along really well and he is teaching her to cook many of the dishes he makes.  He makes really fresh food and seems to be honoring our preferences really well.

I think he has made 10 meals for us so far this month and they have all been really good.  His BEST meal so far was pot pie - chicken for me, vegetarian for Kristoffer.  It was the most delicious chicken pot pie I have ever eaten.  It was so good that I was incredibly sad when the meal was over and I haven't stopped thinking about it since Thursday (tonight we had carrot soup with salad and homemade bread rolls-also delicious!).  We are really happy that we hired him because it is nice to get a break from our usual meal cycle, and when I start working again next week it will make my life a lot easier. 

Yeah for Kennie!  And here's to enjoying the perks of this lifestyle for as long we can :)

LMW

August 6, 2012 - The New DG

Remember when we asked our security company to replace our day guard (DG) because of petty theft?    Well now this...

Mrs. S (landlord) learned that the samba boy, Anthony (the guy who cleans up around the compound and does odd work for the landlords), and the New DG have been sitting in her son's car listening to music when nobody is home at either house.   Then his CD case from the car disappeared.

Suspects:  The New DG and the Shamba Boy.

Both were questioned.  Both denied it.

Security company now getting involved.

Will we be getting another New DG?  Should we call him NDG2?

LMW

August 1, 2012 - A Big Lesson

There is a lot I have learned since becoming an expat in 2007.  Most of that education happened in Kenya because we haven't been in Tanzania that long, and I discovered yesterday that the things I've learned from Kenya are continuing.  This is what I'm talking about:

Rose and I had a conversation about our driver from Kenya, Charles.  I started the talk by asking her how he was doing; things between them were not so great when Rose moved to Tanzania with us because apparently Charles hoped that we would bring him as well and has been holding it against her that we didn't.  She said that she hasn't talked to him since April when she was in Kenya but that he was happy with his job and everything.  So that was good - it was what I wanted to hear.  

But the conversation continued and Rose told me a lot about the way Charles was when they were working together for us in Nairobi (and we are working under the assumption that she is telling me the truth).  His behavior towards her (the way he acted and talked, specifically) was quite different than the Charles we "saw".  When Rose started working for us, Charles told her: They have made me your boss.  I am watching what you do and reporting to them.  So be careful.  They are not easy to work for and they are very strict.  Watch yourself.  

So she said she was terrified of us the first month and thought that Charles was her boss.  Then she said she realized that we were kind and not difficult to work for, so she stopped believing him.  She said he did the same thing when Syprose, our cook, started working for us as well.

So that was news!  Although not entirely surprising: just because he is polite to us and is a good driver doesn't mean we know ANYTHING about who he really is.  I told Rose it is the same with her:  We really like you being in our home and with our children, we think you work hard and are nice and loyal.  But we don't know what you're doing outside of work - you could be killing people!  Or telling people bad things about us.  We just don't know.

Then she told me that Charles was actually talking a lot about us to her.  He was saying nice things about Kristoffer but was talking bad about me.  He couldn't understand why Kristoffer would discuss things with me first if he asked for money or something.  He is the man, so Charles thought he should make all decisions, and he thought that I "wasn't good".  But Rose told him:  Don't you know?  It is the Mama who makes decisions in the home.  You should always talk to Lisa because he will ask her anyway.  You have to go to the Mama, not to the man.  And he didn't like it that Rose was so "close" to me - and he was always trying to find out how much we paid her and what kind of benefits she had.  He was always complaining.

Sigh.  

I would like to say that this news didn't slightly devastate me.  That it doesn't bother me that this man, who we employed for 3 years, who we trusted to drive us and our children, whose family we met, whose wife we helped to educate, for whom my parents bought goats, for whom we bought solar panels and a water tank and so many other things, whose family we medicated when they were sick...this man would think of us (or just me) this way.  I felt that we were generous and always fair with and to Charles.  So I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel a little bit betrayed.

BUT...here is the lesson I have learned:

You cannot give because you want a big thank you or recognition or appreciation or acknowledgement in any way that you did it.  You cannot give to receive that kind of gratification. You cannot give with any expectation of what the receiver of your gift will do.

You give because it is the right thing to do.  It is the Christian thing to do. Because at the end of the day I know that we helped to improve life for one African family, even if they will never remember that we did it.

So with a small crack in my heart, I still wish the best for Charles and his family.  I hope that his wife is graduating from school this month and will start her teaching career soon.  I hope that Charles continues to work for kind, generous mzungus who will help take care of his two adorable children and his old mama who has had a very hard life.  I hope this for him.  And, secretly, I hope that one day he remembers how much help he has had, and pays it forward it some way.  

LMW

April 23, 2012 - The Help

Rose has been away for over two weeks on leave in Kenya.  First it was Easter and then her daughter was on break from boarding school.  It was good for her to go and also good for us that she came back last night.  While she was away, we were really busy keeping up with everything she does on top of everything we do, and during all that I had some time to think about our general situation with her (there was time for thinking, but not so much time for blogging!).

If you've been reading this blog since we started our African adventure you might remember that we were not initially comfortable having staff work for us in Kenya.  We started off thinking we could do it all ourselves and tried to fight the pressure to employ Kenyans.  That is, until reality turned out to be more difficult than we expected.  

Because first of all, expats do provide a huge percentage of jobs in developing countries (at least in Kenyan and Tanzania...I am assuming other African countries as well), the absence of which would likely lead to a rise in a whole host of other social and economic problems.  Second of all, the expectation that expats will employ local staff is actually fair, when you think about how much most expats benefit professionally and economically from working in a place like Nairobi or Dar AND how little employing domestic help costs.  And third of all, it is harder to live in Africa than to live in the US and Europe.  It just IS!  Not bad or worse (necessarily)…definitely different…definitely harder in many ways (easier in other ways too).  I have to boil water before I can hand-wash all of my dishes.  Hanging up laundry to dry and taking it down again takes a long time for a family with kids (I know lots of people do this at home too).  Cleaning the dirt and grime and African dust...not to mention the gecko poop!...is more labor intensive here than at home.  I have to go to 3-5 different stores to get all of the ingredients I need to cook one basic dinner almost every day (because things go bad really quickly even in the working refrigerator).  And of course we are also running around paying CASH for all of our bills and trying to acquire diesel and luku (electricity) and all of that.  Plus, in Dar at least, it is bloody hot...and I have never met a teenage girl to recruit as a babysitter!

So having domestic staff of any kind definitely feels like a luxury sometimes, but it also definitely feels NECESSARY and PRACTICAL.  And, as I think I’ve written about before, when you find the right help – a person, or people, who just fit well with your family and your needs – then it is golden. 

The other side to having help is a little bit of guilt that I sometimes feel.  Guilt that I should be the one scrubbing my floors and hanging up my laundry, since I am not working at any other paying job.  Guilt that I would ever think it is “hard” to have staff (but I am in a management position over here!), which sometimes it is (although mucd less so with only one employee now), when I know most stay-at-home-moms where I come from don’t have additional help and do everything themselves.  Guilt that maybe I have help because I couldn’t actually handle everything on my own in the first place.

So Rose’s absence the last two weeks was actually a good reminder for me.  We did not wash the floors or clean the bathrooms as often as she normally does, but our house was mostly tidy and our laundry was washed and our dinner was made and we never ran out of luku and Grace did not watch more TV than we normally let her watch. We were exhausted, but we survived.  Kristoffer helped a lot in the evenings and I did the best I could during the day to do household chores along with Noah’s nap schedule, Grace’s school schedule, and the normal errands. (I also applied for a job and had a first-stage interview…but that is a story for another blog altogether.)  Exhausted.  But we did it!

I realized that Rose doesn’t work for us because we can’t work for ourselves.  We employ her to make our life here manageable and easier and more pleasant…and we appreciate her hard work so much for those reasons.  This realization assuaged my guilt a bit. I also feel that because it is harder to live here, even though we know it is our choice, having help is just a really nice perk that we should enjoy as long as we can (you would too if it was as inexpensive to do so where you live!).  I suspect in our future life in the US or Denmark we will have plenty of laundry and dishes and floors to wash all on our own.  Right?

So.  Grace and Noah had a very happy reunion with Rose today.  Grace missed her and we made a calendar to count down the days until she came back.  Rose brought them sweet little Nairobi presents and there was a lot of laughter in the house in the wee hours this morning.  An outsider might have thought that Grace was the happiest person in our family to see Rose.  But an insider will know that is not exactly true.

LMW

September 30, 2011 - Unusual Allergy and other stories

Two weeks ago Charles was sick with a cough and some wheezing when he breathed.  We sent him to a doctor at a clinic that he likes to go to, who apparently said that Charles was allergic to the cold.

Me: "I'm sorry, you're allergic to coal?"

Charles: "He says I am allergic to the COLD.  He gave me three medicines to take and I have to go back to see him next week.  If I am not better I have to get a chest x-ray to see if I have asthma."

Allergic to the cold.  Chest x-ray to diagnose asthma.  These are things I've never heard of before.  It is hard to know whether that is what the doctor really said, or just what Charles heard.  Honestly.

Charles' cough stopped right away and he said he was feeling better, although not quite acting like himself. He went to the doctor last week who told him that he was better but not completely fine, and he should take one more week of medication, get a chest x-ray because he might have a serious condition of asthma, and then come back.  I have to admit, in these situations with Charles I have to try really hard to keep a straight face.  Further conversation revealed that he is really afraid of having asthma. I don't know where the fear came from or if he even knows what asthma is!  I tried to explain to him the things I know about asthma and how it is diagnosed ("Maybe it is different in Kenya but in our country asthma is not usually diagnosed with a chest x-ray."), and that I'm sure that's not it because he is already so much better since taking the cough medicine.

But still, he was really worried and went for the chest x-ray, which revealed that he has pneumonitis (which is some inflammation in his lungs, but is not actual pneumonia).  The story gets murky after that because he told me that the doctor said he needed two weeks of (very expensive) antibiotics.  After discussing it with Kristoffer, I told him that we thought that was extreme considering that his symptoms were gone.  I said one week of antibiotics is something we would consider, but that we were not going to buy two weeks of antibiotics for a not-that-serious condition.  Then he came back and said, "Actually, the doctor said one more week of cough medicine and THEN a week of antibiotics," which of course makes absolutely no sense.  I told him, "Let's just see how you are next week."

Please don't think I'm just really mean - Kenyans and Kenyan doctors are known for over-medicating.  They believe antibiotics will cure everything when, as we learned when I was very sick and was incorrectly given antibiotics in the ER, that is not the case.

So this week.  Charles tells me that he has pains in his chest when he breathes.  

Me: "Do you want to go back to the doctor so he can check you out and see if it is related to the pneumonitis."

Charles:  "Yes. I think it's because you didn't buy me that other medicine."

He then goes back to that quack doctor who supposedly tells him, "if you still have pains tomorrow come back and I'll know exactly what medicines to give you".  Note that for some reason the doctor didn't charge him for the visit and that what he supposedly said makes absolutely no sense (Kristoffer wonders if Charles was really taking care of "other business" during working hours with our car). Charles goes the next day and is given one week of (very expensive) antibiotics and one week of painkillers.  

This bizarre medical drama coupled with the collapse of Charles' stove business, means Charles is sort of in the dog house of our minds right now.  That stove story goes like this:

Charles told me, the same day as going to the doctor, that he had given his nephew, Steve, a lot of cash (about $150) to take to the bank to deposit for the purchase of more stoves to sell.  This money came from the other stoves he sold (which we bought we our "seed" money).  He said he was very excited to purchase more stoves.   

A few hours later he tells me: "I haven't heard from Steve and can't get in touch with him.  I hope everything is OK."

Then yesterday he tells Kristoffer that Steve was robbed of all of that cash and his cell phone when he was on his way to deposit the money at the bank.

---

We think there are 2 possible scenarios here.

Scenario A:  It is a true story, and a terrible coincidence.

Scenario B: It is not a true story.

Sadly, we are leaning towards Scenario B.  We suspect - as Kristoffer started to suspect a few weeks ago, actually - that Charles used his stove funds to help his mother pay for the land she wanted to buy with the money from the tree that that other guy chopped down, or for some other non-stove-related reason.  We also suspect that Charles wants us to reimburse him that money to continue his stove business, which we will absolutely not do.  It was his responsibility to save (and/or guard) the money and reinvest it into the business; regardless of how that money is now gone, we are not a bottomless well.

Last night we were really sad about it, because it was a fantastic opportunity for him and his family and we really wanted it to work out for them.  But they'll have to find another way now. 

I'm hoping next week is a better week for us with Charles.

LMW

September 12, 2011 - Remembering a Hungry Childhood

This opinion piece, reposted below from The New York Times, is written by a Kenyan man who comes from Charles' tribe and his region of Kenya.  It is a reminder to us of how serious things are in this part of Africa right now.  It is a reminder that we all must do what we can to stop hunger, what Kimeu calls the "unforgiveable disease".    LMW

OPINION

Remembering a Hungry Childhood

By PETER KIMEU

Published: September 10, 2011

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Peter Kimeu is a small-scale farmer in Machakos, Kenya, and a technical adviser for Catholic Relief Services, a humanitarian organization.

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Matt Rota

Machakos, Kenya

DROUGHTS are cyclical in Kenya. Before, they came every 10 years, but now they seem to be hitting us more often and for longer periods of time. My community remembers events and birthdays by times of hunger. We give the droughts names: “longoza” was the drought when many animals died; there was the drought of the “planes” because food was dropped from the air by planes, and one particularly bad drought was called “man who dies with money in his fist,” because, even if there was money, there was simply no food to purchase.

I was born in 1951 in Machakos. From what my mother tells me, that year there was a serious drought. My sister was born in 1961, and I clearly remember the terrible weather and the prevailing hunger throughout the region. I can’t tell you how many times I went to bed without eating. “I slept like that,” is how we described it, which means we went to bed with nothing to eat. I can’t count the number of days when “I slept like that,” or describe the feeling of going to sleep hungry knowing I’d wake up and there would still be no food for breakfast.

Hunger is an unforgivable disease because it is the easiest one to cure. It is devastating to wake up in the morning and look east, west, south and north and see that there is nothing green that you can chew. During a drought everything goes yellow and dry. I would walk the roads and search the ground to see if someone had spat out a bit of chewed-up sugar cane. I am not ashamed to say that I would re-chew what I would find.

Hunger is dehumanizing. It gets to a level where you do not know how you will survive and you will do anything for a simple kernel of corn.

The thing about drought is that it does not just affect farmers and their crops; it affects everyone. If you think about it, during harvest time farmers hire local farmhands to help with their crops. But when there are no crops to harvest, not only does the farmer lose his or her income, so do the laborers the farmer would have hired. There is a ripple effect that affects the whole community. Few have food and even fewer have money to buy food.

My parents did everything they could to feed us. My father would leave early in the morning carrying a little basket to beg for food or ask for food on credit. Each night he would return home around 10 p.m. My mother, after a fruitless day attempting to find food, would try to encourage us by telling me to keep the water in our pot boiling so that when my father arrived we could quickly cook any food he brought in the already prepared water.

I would keep the fire burning and the water boiling. As the hours passed I would watch the water level slowly go down, along with the hopes that we would eat that night. More often than not, however, my father would arrive frustrated and empty-handed. And I would sleep like that.

It is a traumatizing situation as a young child to be without food. You see the fear in the faces of your mother and father, despairing that they cannot feed their children. You feel afraid, too, because your parents can’t provide for you. Your stomach is so empty that even when you are thirsty and you take water it makes you dizzy. You get so nauseated your body wants to vomit, but you haven’t eaten. I think about this now as East Africa faces another drought. I think about all the children who are suffering as I did. We see terrible images of hunger, but I fear that we have not yet seen the worst.

We are experiencing really serious stress. At the moment, the magnitude of the hunger facing Kenya is not well known.

It is incumbent on all of us to band together and fight this very curable disease. No child on earth should ever have to sleep like that.

September 9, 2011 - Staff Stories

I haven’t written about our staff in a long time; that is a good thing because it means I have nothing to complain about, right? 

Things with Charles have been good, although because of the drought and rising food prices, he has not had very much business for his stoves.  Some of Kristoffer’s colleagues have bought stoves from him, but mostly times are tough and Kenyans are not buying non-essential items.  There was an incident at his home when one of his neighbors cut down a huge tree that Charles’ father (who is deceased) had planted many years ago.  When Charles found out about it he brought the issue to the elders of his tribe and there was a hearing with the Chief.  Everyone agreed that the tree belonged to Charles’ family and so the man had to pay Charles’ mother for the tree (equal to about $500).   That was a significant amount of money for her to receive and she really wanted to buy a piece of land.  So now Charles’ family has new land on which they can grow food.  His wife is back at school for the last term of 2011 and his son is waiting for the teacher’s strike in the country to end so he can go back to school as well.  He seems happy and yesterday Grace told him, “I want to talk to you, Charles! Don’t go away!”  That really made his day.

Rose is wonderful and I like to call her Noah’s Girlfriend because he really loves her.  He is at an age where he is a bit awkward with other people – separation anxiety and all that – but he is almost always happy when he is with Rose.  She had a death in her family a little while ago, her uncle passed away, and just this week her cousin committed suicide after finding out he was HIV+.  Of course we are sorry for her at these times, but she continues to work hard at our house and we can’t remember what we ever did without her here.

Syprose is another story.  She is a good cook (despite the Kenyan way of using way too much oil in her food) and we appreciate the arrangement we have where she comes one day a week to make 6 meals that we can freeze and eat throughout the week.  Aside from this, though, she drives us kind of crazy.  She is extremely loud and we often think the things she says to Grace and Noah are inappropriate.  She is also very slow.  One day when Rose was gone for her uncle’s funeral, Syprose finished all her work almost 3 hours earlier than other days because she is talking to Rose so much.  But alas, it is time consuming to cook and wash dishes here, so I am grateful for her help.

This week there was a conflict between Syprose and Rose and, of course, I’ve heard 3 different versions of the story. 

Rose’s version: She was in her room having her break when Syprose came screaming at her accusing her of turning off the oven and ruining the food and threatening to tell “Madame” (that’s me).  Rose showed her that she hadn’t touched the oven and that Syrpose had just forgotten to turn the knob all the way to be on.  Syprose apologized, but Rose was somewhat devastated (she had also just found out about her cousin) and cried for a long time. 

Charles’ version:  He had to calm both ladies down because they were so worked up.  He says that they joke around too much and this is what happens; one day, somebody doesn’t think the joke is funny and maybe Syprose was a little mean to Rose, who is a person who never wants to do the wrong thing and takes her job very seriously. He said Rose was sobbing and he had never seen her so upset.

Syprose’s version: She was just kidding around with Rose, never yelled or screamed, and didn’t understand why Rose was so upset.  But she apologized to her a lot because Rose got her the job with us (and I have since gotten her several other jobs) and was very helpful when Syprose’s mother died and so she was sorry that she got Rose so upset.  But still she was just kidding and Rose shouldn’t have taken it so seriously.

In the end, Rose’s happiness working here means more to us than Syprose’s cooking, so should another incident occur that makes Rose uncomfortable we would let Syprose go.  Without saying that exactly, I told Syprose that I think she should be more careful with Rose’s feelings and that we are cautious about the way we talk to each other in our house because it is very important for everyone to feel comfortable.  I told her I was disappointed to hear about what happened, and she did apologize to me saying that she would not do anything like that again and that she would apologize to Rose again because she is a very good friend.

It was an awkward conversation to have with Syprose, but I’m happy I did it.  Add another notch to my belt of managing staff at home. And hopefully Rose feels okay about it when she is back on Monday.  When it comes to our staff, I definitely prefer “no news is good news”!

LMW

June 21, 2011 - Business Plan

Kristoffer and I (ok, mostly Kristoffer) have decided to become venture capitalists in Kenya. Well, I suppose "venture capitalists" is a bit of stretch, but we are investing money to help Charles and his nephew start a business. The story is this:

In his work with WFP, Kristoffer has been involved with the stove market in Kenya. Kenyans traditionally cook on three-stone open fires (as in, they put a big pot on top of three stones with wood burning beneath it); this is very inefficient and requires a lot of firewood, which significantly contributes to deforestation in Kenya. Additionally, the smoke from cooking this way is bad for the health of the women who use them to cook. Called a "jiko" in Swahili, the wood-burning stoves that Kristoffer helps provides to schools are designed to be healthier and way more efficient. In addition to the institutional-size stoves that WFP purchases for schools, there are also similar household-size stoves for individuals and families to use. These stoves are really impressive, but many Kenyans would find them to be expensive and also not available everywhere. Kristoffer works with one stove supplier in particular and discovered that they do not have distributors in the part of Kenya where Charles lives. To continue our efforts to provide sustainable help to Charles and his family, we have given him a certain amount of money to buy stoves to distribute where his family lives.

Charles, already a fan of these stoves because we have given his family a couple of them, was very eager when Kristoffer approached him with this idea. Charles has had several meetings with the stove supplier and had to sign a legal contract to become a distributor for them. His company, which will eventually be licensed with the government, is called Ukambani Stove Distribution Ltd. Kristoffer and I made a spreadsheet for Charles (because we gave him an old laptop and a book to learn how to use Excel) to keep track of the stoves and the money. We aren't looking to profit from this, just to get back our initial investment. Charles and his nephew, Steve, will sell the stoves to Charles' neighbors in Nairobi and all around his home town, Machakos, for a decent profit equivalent to several dollars. That money will be used to slowly pay back our investment, to pay Steve a salary, to buy more stoves, and hopefully to save.

Given the interest in these stoves and the fact that Charles will be the sole distributor in a very populated area, we think he can make quite a bit of money from this venture, which we hope he will use wisely to continue the business and also to save for his family's future. We know he has a dream to own a car, which is the ultimate symbol of wealth here, so perhaps he could start saving for that. He picked up his first order of stoves one week ago and has sold three of them so far. Additionally, he gave a demonstration at his church this weekend and got seven orders. One of the stoves sold so far is a fancier, more expensive version; Steve sold it to a woman for a little bit less than he wanted to, but I assured Charles that was a good investment if she tells everyone she knows about these honest, hardworking guys who are selling long-lasting, energy-efficient stoves.

Kristoffer provided all the contacts for Charles and all the knowledge about the stoves (selling points for Charles and Steve to know, etc.), and I keep injecting tidbits of advice, like "Once you have the minimum requirement, open a bank account so you don't spend all your profit or get robbed!" It actually turns out that Charles has a little bit of sales experience from when he was younger and is also teaching Steve how to be a salesman. When Charles doesn't need to be driving us anywhere, usually in the afternoon when the kids are napping, he is allowed to drive to the stove supplier for meetings or to pick up stoves. So far it is going well and he is THRILLED. To say the least. We think it is fun to teach him a little bit about business and economics, and Kristoffer is eager to see how quickly the stove is embraced in Charles' community.

By the time we leave Kenya, whenever that may be, we will have funded an education for Charles' wife to become an employed school teacher; have bought his family goats, thanks to my parents, that can be bred and used for milk, meat or to sell; have provided his family with an enormous water tank to harvest water so his mother doesn't have walk up and down hills for miles to fetch it; have provided his family with solar panels so they can have some electricity in their home; and we will have helped Charles start a successful (we hope) business that he can continue long after we leave. It is all about building capacity and providing sustainable development solutions, and I feel proud that we've done our best to help improve the quality of life for one Kenyan family.

We have learned in our time here that the best way to help people in the long run - and I believe this applies everywhere, actually - is to give them tools to help themselves. Our experience has shown us that, while that theory sounds quite simple, figuring out how to actually provide that kind of help is extremely complicated in practice.

We'll keep you posted ;)

LMW

June 6, 2011 - Staff Update

As you know, a big part of our life here is interacting with our staff, and right now we have three Kenyans who work for us:

• Charles - he has been our driver for 2 1/2 years
• Rose - she is our housekeeper/nanny since October
• Syprose - she cooks for us once a week since Novemberish

In some ways it is very luxurious to have staff. For example, when we run out of drinking water I can send Charles to the store to stock up on bottles instead of doing it myself or to pay any number of the bills that we have to pay in person. When Grace and Noah are both napping at the same time (rare, but amazing) I can also nap if I am tired because I don't have to worry about doing the laundry or the dishes (note: no dishwashers or clothes dryers in Nairobi). I can choose if I want to make some side dishes to go along with the meals Syprose has made (she cooks 5 or 6 meals on the day she comes and then we freeze to eat throughout the week) or not (because they can pretty much stand alone). It is one of the perks of living so far away from home and the totally different conveniences we are used to there (because in all truth, the conveniences of home don't exist here and the conveniences of here don't exist at home).

But it is also more difficult than one might think to have people working for you in your home. Today, for example, I feel like a human ATM machine because Syprose's mother died and she is asking for us to help pay for the funeral; Charles' mother and his son both got serious injuries last week and need to go the hospital today, which we are expected to pay for, and he needs money for some additional expenses his wife has at her school (we are sponsoring her education); and Rose is complaining that times are tough, money is tight, and could I please find her a part-time job on the weekends to supplement her income (read between the lines: or could I just start paying her more) and also could we also please donate to help her church buy a plot of land. Yikes. Sometimes it feels like I am eating peanut butter and jelly for lunch because we are supporting three other families! I know I've written about this before and I am not complaining, but from time to time I do need to review our relationship to these people.

Syprose - she is a very part-time employee and has several other employers, who I am sure she is hitting up equally to support her mother's arrangements. We will give her something, but cannot afford and do not feel obligated to support the whole thing. We know how much money she makes and she does pretty well. She also has many siblings who can ask their employers for cash as well.

Charles - of course we will pay for his family's medical expenses. We know he is on a tighter than usual budget because he is also contributing to his wife's education (which we take out of his salary every month) and, in our experience, Kenyans never have money set aside for emergencies. For his wife's extra school costs? We'll give him a loan and continue to deduct from his monthly salary. As an aside, Charles' mother got injured while grazing the goats my parents bought her and he made sure to lay that on pretty thick this morning ("Well, if she hadn't been tending the goats..."). So, Mom and Dad, maybe you want to help pay for her to see a doctor? (kidding, kidding)

Rose - oh Rose. Rose, who redeemed my faith in the whole idea of having house help, who fits seamlessly into our family, knowing when to be around and when not to be around, often knowing how to snap Grace out of a grumpy mood or get her to fall asleep for her nap, and who makes flowers appear on my coffee table as if by magic. She is nice company to have around the house during the day, is very interested in learning lots of different things, and will not be moving to Canada any time soon (never, actually) because her visa was denied (for a completely ridiculous reason, but really we expected it because the Canadian government really doesn't want her to move there and marry a nice Canadian man). I feel that we pay her a lot already, compared to many people who I know don't pay their staff as well, but I also feel like she is worth every single shilling because she is so good at both housekeeping and helping with the children. I actually do not know how I would function in Nairobi without her and I certainly don't want her to go hunting for another family who will pay her more than we do. So Kristoffer and I have to decide how much more we can afford to pay her.

In addition to the financial issues of having staff, there are social ones too. For some reason two weeks ago Charles was in a very bad mood (I actually think he was mad at Kristoffer because he had to work late when Kristoffer got stuck in a meeting with a famous American actress; Kristoffer did not offer to pay him overtime because he had just had 6 weeks of paid vacation.) and stopped talking to Rose for 2 days. He didn't even say hello to her when she said hello. So then Rose asks me, what's wrong with Charles? I inquire and he says everything is fine, but still won't talk to Rose. Kristoffer thought he had a bit of an attitude with him as well. Two days later he was perfectly fine and Rose asks him what happened, to which he replies, "Nothing. I was just in a bad mood and didn't want to talk." Luckily Rose is a pretty assertive Kenyan woman and told him, "That's fine, but next time tell me instead of not saying hello when I say good morning to you." You go, Rose!

We are lucky that Rose and Charles, and Syprose who worked with Rose and her previous family, all get along and that we haven't had any major issues with their personalities. Rose is Masai and pretty much everyone gets along with Masai. Charles and Syprose do not come from the same part of the country and are actually quite different (at least in terms of the stereotypes about their respective tribes) but they only interact one day a week and I've never heard them be anything but very polite to one another. Of course I'm not with them in the car when he takes her food shopping, but Syprose is so loud that if she had an issue with him I'm sure I would know about it already.

So...that's the update on our staff. If we move from Kenya before the year is over, as we expect, then a new item on my "to do" list will be "to get new jobs for the staff". I don't think it will be that hard because there are always new people coming in to the country and, while staff are not hard to find, GOOD staff are! But then the question becomes: what will happen to us if we move to a country (like America, gulp, or Denmark, shock!) where we have to do our own laundry and drive our own car and cook our own dinner while the babies are napping?!?! While it was hard to get used to life with staff, I am so not ready to deal with the reality of life without them!

LWM