August 17, 2010 - It's Been a "Rocky" 4 months

I have so many stories and pictures to share from the past 11 days in Denmark - we have done and seen a lot! But while I'm getting my act together on those blogs, I'll just share that today I am 16 weeks pregnant with Rocky. I feel proud because it feels like my body has had to work a lot harder this time around; it turns out that my cough/bronchitis/lung infection was full-fledged pneumonia (who knows for how long!) and I've only just really recovered from battling that since the middle of June. We haven't had any more pregnancy complications and I am growing even faster than I did with Grace (or at least it feels that way!). I think we are close to realizing that in another 24 weeks (or, most likely a little sooner than that) we will be a family of four!

At 12 weeks pregnant I looked like this:

And today at 16 weeks I look like this...
...with my shadow appropriately close by :)

I had a dream one week ago that Rocky is a boy, but my very first dream about Grace was also that she was a boy...so I suppose that could mean we're having a girl (or that with Grace I was really dreaming about Rocky?)! We are planning to give this baby a Danish name so if you have any suggestions send them along.

Kristoffer went back to Kenya yesterday and Grace and I have begun our extra month of R&R with Farmor & Hans. I took a two hour nap today, so I would say we are off to a good start!

LMW

August 6, 2010 - Playdate

On June 9, 2009, I blogged about Grace meeting her friend Luna for the first time (along with Luna's parent, our good friends Lars and Barbara). Yesterday the girls had their second playdate. Needless to say, they were both much more mobile and entertaining this time around. Luna is six months older than Grace and it was a great preview for us to see what a big girl she will soon be. Much of their day was spent competing for Kristoffer's mom's attention; Luna was even calling Kirsten "Mormor" (mother's mother)!

We made sure to take the second father/daughter picture of these two military buddies with their little girls. I'm tracking how well all four of them age!

LMW

August 5, 2010 - Hongera*, Kenya!

Pick an article, any article, and read all about Kenya's FAIR and PEACEFUL election yesterday with the excellent result of a new constitution being approved by 67% of the country's voters:

The Daily Nation
BBC News
Jyllands-Posten
The NY Times
The Washington Post
The Boston Globe

I was so happy this afternoon that I actually cried! The new constitution will bring many things to the country, the least of which is HOPE for more equity and equality in their future.
LMW

*hongera = congratulations in Kiswahili

August 5, 2010 - "No more, Mama!"

Grace and Farmor were happily playing a game with some small animals on the kitchen counter this morning, and when I approached to see what they were doing my daughter pushed me away and told me, "No more, Mama!" I was definitely not needed for her private play with Farmor.Here's hoping she feels the same way when I'm the one playing with someone new in about six more months!

LMW

August 2, 2010 - Secret Garden

We made it safely and smoothly to Denmark on Friday and have had a very relaxing few days so far. Grace enjoyed a full weekend with her cousins and helped Farmor pick peas, raspberries, and dig up potatoes in her garden. Far also enjoyed picking cherries from the tree and playing in Grace's new sandbox. I am resting well and slowly getting over my bronchitis/lung infection...with a noticeable baby bump that is about 4 weeks bigger than I was with Grace at this time (14 weeks tomorrow). Our Danish vacation is off to a great start!

LMW

July 29, 2010 - Referendum Ready

In 24 hours we are departing for holiday in Denmark. Kristoffer will be staying for 2 weeks while Grace and I are staying for 6 weeks (he is coming back towards the end for a few more days and to travel back to Nairobi with us). Grace will get a lot of attention and have a lot of fun with Farmor and Hans for most of the trip, while I will hopefully get a lot of rest. And boy do I need it! In addition to being 13+ weeks pregnant and supposedly on "bed rest" for another 3-4 weeks, I have also had bronchitis for the last few weeks which has turned into a painful lung infection. I went to the emergency room last night, realizing that I needed some medical attention before we travel, and told the doctor that I thought I had cracked a rib. It was that painful and I didn't know what else it could be (also I have been vomiting and coughing so much it actually seemed a likely diagnosis). He said, "But you aren't a doctor, are you?" Good point, guy. Turns out that a lung infection can cause pain similar to that of a cracked rib! He didn't seem that concerned about my pain but was concerned about getting rid of the infection; so I am as drugged up as I am allowed to be given Rocky's residence on the inside and hope to be feeling better before our departure tomorrow morning. There is a big part of me that feels like all of my troubles will disappear once I am in Denmark! Let's get there!

More interesting news is that Kenya is headed for a very big day. On August 4th Kenyans will go to the polls for the first time since the 2007 election to vote on a new Constitution for the nation. The draft of the new Constitution was approved by Parliament a few months ago and the country will vote in just a few more days. This is a big deal for many reasons:

1. There has not been a national election since the violence that plagued early 2008; Kenyans seem resolute to exercise their right to vote but everyone is treading carefully and hoping (praying, really) that, regardless of the outcome, violence will not ensue and that corruption will not prevent a fair election from taking place.
2. The new document limits the power of all three branches of government in a way that the country hasn't seen before; for example, for the first time the President shall not also be a Member of Parliament from a certain district of the country. Ideally, these new measures will curtail corruption.
3. A significantly controversial clause in the document states that abortion is illegal (as it has always been here) except in cases where a medical professional believes the mother's life is at risk. The church, a powerful institution, believes this will open the door for future laws to be created to allow for abortion to be carried out liberally and they have campaigned actively against the new document (with financing from right-wing American conservatives, we believe) throughout the country, specifically in poor areas where people are not educated and rely on their religious leaders for political guidance.
4. The new constitution also limits the amount of land that can be privately owned, gives power to a land commission to levy taxes on land and even correct historical land injustices, and even gives equal land rights to women (shock! horror!). This is another controversial part of the constitution but one that every outsider agrees is CRUCIAL for the country's future.
5. Finally, there is a little bit of controvery regarding the part of the constitution that exempts the Muslim population of the country from the Bill of Rights and acknowledges their own courts, called Kadhi. This seems to be less controversial than the other two big issues, but has still been discussed a lot in the media.
6. The original and current constitution was essentially written in the UK by Brits in the early 60s, so the proposed document would now be much more empowering for Kenyans to live by today.

Politics in Kenya doesn't get more interesting than this. Last night when I was sitting in the emergency room (for 4 hours...) watching the local news, I learned that over 50,000 Kenyans are going to be criminally charged with registering to vote multiple times. Their names were even published in a public "list of shame"; Go Kenya! That is amazing! Otherwise, 12.5 million Kenyans have registered to vote on Wednesday, which has been declared a public holiday to ensure that Kenyans can safely get to and from their polling stations.

It is expected that the new constitution will be adopted, but it is also anticipated that in pockets of the country (likely the Rift Valley and urban slums) there could also be reactive violence or proactive measures of intimidation. Of course we (we = all expats, probably, but definitely me and Kristoffer) hope that Kenya votes for the new Constitution because it would be very good for the country to do so, even if it might not be 100% perfect by every interest-group's standards. But, we hope even more that that Kenyans are able to participate in an open and fair election without fear of persecution for their choice or their ethnic background. We hope the country can prove to the world that they have learned, changed, grown in the last couple of years.

When Wednesday comes around, I anticipate that the Welsiens will be enjoying a certain lovely garden in Varde, Denmark with some certain loved ones, but you can be sure that our thoughts will be with Kenya as we all eagerly await the outcome of the referendum.

LMW

July 25, 2010 - New Blog

Our friends Meghan and Matt have a new blog to share their six-week African experience. They are going to be doing some volunteering for a few weeks so I suspect their reflections and observations will be really interesting.

Check it out here.

LMW

July 24, 2010 - Kwaheri Karen!

It was a real treat for us to have my friend Karen here for two weeks. I am not that sure that Nairobi was all that she bargained for: she went to two play/mom's groups, Grace's traumatic doctor's appointment (they tried to give her a nebulizer for her bronchiolitis...yikes!), my ultrasound, and grocery shopping a few times! She babysat Grace a few times so that I could sleep and participated actively in feeding and diaper changing. What a trip!

She did manage to see some cultural stuff: Kristoffer took her to visit the By Grace Orphanage, she visited the giraffes and elephants and Karen Blixen sites, and she took Grace on a field trip to the National Museum...
...which Grace slept through entirely.
Together with our family, Karen visited the Kiambethu Tea Farm (our third visit there) and we captured some moments from that day.

She even caught me and Grace in an intense game of peek-a-boo!

We managed to kick Karen out of our house for a few days so that she could go on a safari to the Masai Mara. She had a great time seeing Kenya's wildlife up close and personally, and even had an incredible hot air balloon ride. (Note: Karen was conveniently at the Mara when we had "the Rat" visiting!)

For her last day in Nairobi, we set her up with our other visiting friends, Meghan and Matt, to visit Nakuru National Park for a day. Last night we all went out to dinner to celebrate having such good friends in Nairobi!

But sadly, this morning Karen had to leave us. She is off to South Africa for the next three weeks to participate in an educator's program on oral history.

We are so happy you came to stay, Karen, and we already miss you! I feel so lucky that even though we only worked together for two months in Washington, DC we have stayed such good friends! Kwaheri!*

LMW

*Kwaheri means "goodbye" in Kiswahili

July 23, 2010 - Grace

I have been remiss in blogging for some time (also in taking pictures, videos, noticing that my daughter has molars!, etc. Yikes!) so here is an update on Grace.

She currently has bronchiolitis (like baby bronchitis) so hasn't been quite herself. When she is sick (yes! it is winter here!) the first thing to go is her appetite, which of course is the one thing that she can't really stand to lose. But, alas, we are in a near-hunger strike this week. She has finally started to drink juice (we push it for the calories) and a little bit of cow's milk. Her vocabulary is expanding a lot with her favorite word pretty much still being "no", although she also says "yucko" quite a bit for anything dirty or any kind of trash. Grace doesn't have a lot of hair, but she finally has some hair...slowly but surely it is growing. She is sleeping a long stretch at night but still wakes up way too early for anyone's happiness (least of all mine) and takes one long nap during the day most of the time, at which time I am also asleep without fail.

She likes to do a lot of things on her own: going up and down the stairs, brushing her teeth, throwing away her own wrapped up diapers, turning on and off the music in her room, feeding herself, picking out which DVD she wants to watch in the morning, drawing, and climbing up onto the sofa. Grace also likes to try to do a lot of other things on her own even though she might not always be successful, like putting on her own clothes/socks/shoes. It is a really fun age - she plays well by herself and with others (others = adults mostly...with other toddlers we are making progress little by little) and seems to have a creative imagination. She loves to build with her legos, try to dress up her stuffed animals, play with her "choo choos" and little dollhouse, and, as usual, read her books. We can't wait for everyone in Denmark to see her next month!

This is what Grace looks like in the last few days (note that she just decided that she really likes to pose with a smile for the camera...what a ham!):

Our little peanut is getting so big!

LMW

July 22, 2010 - The Rat

No, "the Rat" is not another nickname for our baby...it is a nickname for the critter that we found in our kitchen last night which was actually and unbelievably an enormous rat! We heard some weird noises from the kitchen and my friend Meghan and I encouraged our brave husbands to go fight off whatever intruders might have made the noises. That lead to the discovery of "the Rat" and its subsequent entrapment in a kitchen cabinet.

My first thought: Wait, are we at the 14th Street subway station in NYC?

My second thought: No, we're in Kenya! We're supposed to have monkeys, not rats!

My third thought: How embarrassing! We have 3 visiting friends from the US and did not invite this icky rat to stay too!

While "the Rat" was quiet during the night, he was trying to bust out of the kitchen cabinet this morning while Grace and I were eating breakfast in the dining room. I got nervous - not knowing how strong "the Rat" was - and opened up some drawers that blocked the cabinet doors from being opened. Little did I know that the drawers were connected to the cabinet and so within minutes "the Rat" was on the lose again. I managed to trap him inside the kitchen and then did what I'm sure you would have done in my situation: I called for Charles to come take care of it! I explained to him that there was a big rat trapped in the kitchen and asked if he could please go in through the back door and get it out. "No problem," he said.

So I am back in the dining room with Grace when I hear Charles enter the kitchen. A lot of banging and slamming followed for the next 90 seconds. Then I hear, "It is OK, Madam, you can come back in now." When I opened the kitchen door, there are quite a few things out of place in the room and there is Charles standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding an enormous dead rat by the tail. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I definitely did not know he was going to KILL the rat...thought he might shoo it out of the house or trap it in a box or something! But hey, I'm not complaining!

It was so gross that I can almost not write about it without getting sick, but alas, Charles was my knight in shining armor and disposed of the imported-from-the-NYC-subway rat immediately. Thank you Charles, and thank you to our friends Meghan and Matt for not instantly running for a proper hotel last night :) Never having had a rat in any home I have ever lived in, I hope we can safely say that this was the first and last time.

LMW

July 21, 2010 - Meet Rocky

Grace's brother or sister is due to arrive on the 1st of February. Because Kristoffer's contract ends in November, we aren't exactly sure where our baby will be born but we are very excited for his or her arrival.

While "Rocky" might seem like a funny nickname, it has a certain meaning for us. The last six weeks of our pregnancy (weeks 6 to 12) have been pretty tough. We've had a couple of scares that all might not be well for the baby and the picture above, taken two days ago, is actually the fifth ultrasound I've had to have. For the last three weeks I have been on "complete bed rest"...which does not have the same meaning when you have a toddler as it does when it is your first pregnancy, I imagine. My version of "complete bed rest" has been to let Kristoffer do a lot on the nights and weekends, to give my housekeeper more responsibility on the days she is here, to hire someone to come play with Grace for 3-4 hours every day or two so that I can stay off my feet a little bit, and to nap every moment that Grace is napping. It might not be the most complete "complete bed rest", but it has been the best I could do and it has helped (in addition to some extra vitamins and hormones). We believe that our little one is truly a fighter, surviving odds that might have been against him or her, and so the name "Rocky" seems quite fitting...even for a girl!

Other than pure exhaustion - all the time! no matter how long I've slept! - I have had many usual first trimester symptoms quite similar to my pregnancy with Grace. As we move into the second trimester this week we hope that my food aversions and sickness will subside and that I will get a bit more energy to enjoy the middle phase of pregnancy (when I'm not yet waddling and can still sleep comfortably!). We are also looking forward to preparing Grace for life as a big sister. As Kristoffer said to her a few days ago, "Grace, I think you are very catered to...but only until February!"

So let the countdown begin and cheers to the next six months of preparation for our family to grow!

LMW

July 16, 2010 - Only in Kenya

In the last month we have had three visitors from the US, which has been really fun but also a bit time consuming away from this blog! Johanna is a friend from college and she came to Kenya for a couple of weeks with her friend Sharon (below). We had a great time with them!

My friend Karen, who I worked with for 2 months in Washington, DC, has been here for the last week (sorry, we haven't taken any pictures yet!) and has been a great guest. She and Grace are best friends now and we're showing her all the ins and outs of Nairobi. When she leaves we have more visitors coming: my friend Meghan from high school and her husband! So fun to have so many Americans around!

In other news, my wallet was stolen two weeks ago. Of course this can happen in any country to any person at any time and was not really that big of a deal. Yes, I was annoyed and inconvenienced about having to call banks in the US, Denmark and Kenya but it was a pretty small blip on the screen. I dealt with it, got over it and never thought I'd think of it again. UNTIL...I got a phone call yesterday from a branch of my local bank saying that they had my wallet! Somebody actually turned it in! All the cash was gone, of course, but all of my cards and identification were still there. Inside there was also a name and phone number of the guy who turned my wallet in to the bank, but I can't decide if I should contact him (he likely wants a reward...) because what if he was the one who stole it in the first place?! Tough call, but really ONLY IN KENYA! I would have never gotten my wallet back in the US - thank you, Kenya!

In addition to visitors and travels, we've been busy with Grace being busy, busy, busy. She is into everything: running around, playing with everything, and talking up a storm! We think she is at a very fun age and enjoy all the funny little things she says and does. In two more weeks we are traveling to Denmark and really look forward to seeing all of our family and friends there.

LMW

July 13, 2010 - WFP "news"

Please read this story on the WFP website today about a project that Kristoffer is working really hard on. It will give you a bit more of an idea about some of the important work he does here. You can also see some of his photography from his trips to "the field". He doesn't like to brag, but I am really proud of him and recognize that not all of WFP's work ends up on their front web page. It is a big accomplishment for him!

LMW

June 18, 2010 - Baby, It's COLD Outside

In a post that is likely to surprise you, I would like to report that we are VERY COLD in Nairobi right now! Our "winter" season isn't really supposed to start until July , but the cold has come a few weeks early and, for some reason, has caught us completely by surprised. Perhaps it's because we just came from nice, warm Boston or perhaps we have lived here so long that our blood is now thinner and, thus, more sensitive to slight drops in temperature. I don't know why it is...but I do know that I'm wearing layers. How cold is it, you ask? Well...I would say high 50s F/14 C in the morning and evening, but even during the day it hasn't been getting too warm. No higher than low 60s F. BRRRRR! Who could tell that we are Danes and New England-Americans!?!

Good thing Grace has a wonderfully warm sweater that Oldemor (her great-grandmother) made her to keep her warm!

LMW

June 16, 2010 - We'll Always Have Nairobi

One of the more difficult parts of being an expat is not only dealing with our own transient lifestyle, but also the transient lifestyle of the people we know. Most people are only "stationed" here for 3 years, on average, and given that we have now been here for 2 1/2 years, we are starting to know a lot of people who are packing up and moving on. Although a little strange to know such a fluid population, this isn't so much a problem when it is "acquaintances" who leave. Nobody we have been very close has left before...until today. The family across the street moved back to the US today and it almost goes without saying that this severely rocks our world.

Over the last two years that we have lived in our house, Jen (the wife/mom/professor/UN consultant) has probably become my closest friend in Nairobi. She was around through my whole pregnancy with Grace, was among the first people to meet Grace, and has been a big presence in Grace's entire life. She knows all the details that most people don't know about our life here (nope, not even you!). Her son Ben was my "pupil" when I tutored him all throughout the school year, and together we built a lot of trust that allowed him to really make academic progress. Mae is Kristoffer and Grace's best playmate in Kenya; she was with Grace when she sat up by herself for the first time and has spent countless hours playing, playing, playing at our house. Tsavo has inspired Grace's sincere love of dogs and "Tsavo" is probably the word Grace says the most everyday. next to "Mama". Almost every afternoon around 4 pm, you could find the group of us watching Mae's tae kwon do lesson (she is a black belt now!), or playing basketball in their driveway, or watching Grace and Tsavo fight over Grace's sunhat. Sam and Kristoffer, more often working during the week than playing in the driveway, also formed a friendship and most weekends would end with our two families sitting on our couch, eating pizza, and watching American Idol.

It has been the kind of family-friendship that you dream of: neighbors with an unlocked door, who will take the baby for a few minutes here or there if you need to get something done, who always have plenty of eggs and sugar and flour to borrow, who will jumpstart your car, and who celebrate birthdays in the family with great joy. It is certainly not the kind of friendship that either of us expected we would find here, of all places, which is why we had such a tearful goodbye today and why I am so, so sad that our dear family-friends are gone. It is one thing to explain our life to our family and friends at home, but it is quite another to have people close by who just "get it" and all the little quirks that we go through on a daily basis because they live through them too. I am so grateful for two years of increasingly special memories with this special American family and wish them all the best in their next adventure.

We know we will see them again at some time and in some place, but in the meantime...I guess we'll always have Nairobi.

LMW

June 14, 2010 - Big Week for Jikos

“Jiko” means “stove” in Kiswahili and it was one of the first words I learned in Kiswahili.

For WFP’s School Meals Programme (formerly School Feeding Programme) stoves are a big issue because they are needed to cook food with firewood. WFP provides food to the schools but there is no provision for firewood so the parents have to cover this cost of firewood themselves. The cost of firewood as gone up, especially since the government has acted on illegal logging. Nairobi schools spend up to $500 per month on firewood, which is an indirect and very high cost of sending children to school. Schools cook on the traditional three-stone open fire stove, which basically is three big stones and a large cooking pot on top and of course a fire underneath. There are 20,000 schools in Kenya and most of them use this method for cooking, which doesn’t really help Kenya’s problem with deforestation either.

Fortunately high quality institutional stoves are available in Kenya. They save between 40-70% of firewood, have a chimney that directs all smoke out of the kitchen and they are highly popular among schools but are also very expensive; between approximately 1,500 to 3,300 USD depending on the size. I visited a Nairobi school last week, which could report a 400% savings in firewood since they received the new 600L stove through the WFP stove programme. The 600 liter jiko can cook for the school’s 2,000 children. The school signed up for our programme and received the stove at no up front cost. Next month they will make their first of six payments, which will account for 50% of the cost of the stove. The school knows that the money it repays will not go back to WFP but will finance a stove for another school, that will then have to pay 50% and so on.

We designed this project** and the schools in Nairobi have really embraced it. It has actually been a big part of my job for the last year. On top of other things I am responsible for at work, this is the cream of the crop. In March 2010 we received USD 1 million for this project. We are now taking the project to the rural schools and it will be interesting to see if the rural schools are willing to share 50% of the cost. I am going to Masai land this coming week to meet with 80 head teachers and try to get their “buy in” for the programme. Wish me good luck.

KW

**Publisher's Note: "We designed this project" should really be "I mostly designed this project" because it is Kristoffer's "baby". It is a project that has incredibly positive environmental impacts for Kenya and is the first of its kind being done within WFP (worldwide). Kristoffer may not like to brag himself because he is Danish, but I am happy to brag about him because I am American! ~LMW

Also a Note from Grace: Tillykke med fodselsdagen til Farmor! Jeg elsker dig!

June 12, 2010 - Cold Turkey

Surgeon General's Warning: this blog is about breastfeeding, which I know is of very little interest to most people who pass through this blog looking for updates on our life and would fall into the category of TMI [too much information] for many readers too. I am mostly documenting it here for my sake and for Grace's sake someday in the future, so I am not the least bit offended if you choose to say goodbye for now and check back another day for a less intimate blog about how our housekeeper may or may not be stealing from us.

When I was pregnant with Grace, it was my sincere desire to breastfeed my baby when he or she was born and also my sincere hope that I would like breastfeeding. This was before knowing anything about the actual baby, who wonderfully turned out to be Grace, or knowing anything about actual breastfeeding. I had read a list of things you should and shouldn't do to help breastfeeding go well and, while I had heard a few positive "breastfeeding was easy" stories, most of the stories I had heard were full of challenges and tears and mastitis and stress and dislike so I went into the whole experience with two things: high hopes and low expectations. I didn't want to have my heart too broken if it didn't work out well for us so I set two small goals for myself and hoped hoped hoped to reach them both: I will breastfeed the baby within an hour of giving birth (because I had read that is the best thing to do) and I will breastfeed the baby for three months, just three months, please let us get to three months.

And then Grace was born. I was lying under the lights praying praying praying when we heard "It's a girl!" and they swept away my blue baby (how did that cord get around her neck anyway?!) to be cleared out and cleaned up and weighed and bathed and swaddled and proudly planted in an incubator clinging to her Far's finger. I saw her sweet little face, I declared her beautiful name, I said "I love you", and then she was gone and I didn't see her for two more hours while I went through the rest of the surgery and pretend-yelled in the recovery room, "Where's my baby? I want to see my baby! I have to feed my baby!" So my first goal was not even close to accomplished which made me nervous about the reality of my second goal.

When Grace and I were finally reunited, she latched on instantly and could suckle very well. The problem was that I didn't have any colostrum or milk yet. So days went by with me drinking lots of hot liquids (tea and hot chocolate are believed, in Kenya at least, to help bring your milk), and Grace happily latching on to me but not actually getting anything to eat. I was worried that she would starve, but was reminded that she came out pretty full from all the good stuff she had on the inside and that she didn't need to eat that much just yet; and at one point the nurses gave her a thimble or two of formula that sustained her until things started working from my end.

Three full days after she was born, my increasing fears were assuaged when my milk finally came in and I could nurse her. Then it turned out that I was one of the lucky ones, for which I am still extremely grateful. Grace was a clock-like pro, eating pretty much every two hours on the dot. My anesthesiologist (surprisingly) spent five minutes giving me some "try this" tips for nursing, which was very helpful and the only professional advice I got. I had a small amount of discomfort that is expected when you start nursing but was never in actual pain, never got mastitis, never had a problem. I was equally thrilled and surprised because I had really expected a much more difficult experience and actually my three month goal came and went quite easily. Soon the next goal was to nurse her exclusively for six months and then reevaluate, which also went by with a breeze. Particularly for our travel-inclined lifestyle, nursing was perfect for several long flights in Grace's early life. It seemed that Grace could be comforted through any fussiness or discomfort by breastfeeding, which was truly a relief to all three of us (and probably hundreds of other people on various international flights).

When Grace started eating solid foods a few days shy of six months, we were happy to have reached the World Health Organization's recommendation for nursing and Grace naturally started to nurse a little bit less often, although still many times a day. I read in a few different books that breastfeeding for as long as possible is especially good for future-vegetarians and we decided to continue. Soon we were at nine months and then a year: it was still easy, it was still "working" and Grace showed no indication of wanting to stop. It is hard to say what role breastfeeding has played in Grace's inability to gain the normal amount of weight since she was six months old. Both doctors we have seen indicate that some babies just loving breastfeeding so much that they aren't that interested in solid foods, which could very well be the case with Grace. At thirteen months I stopped nursing her during the day - which she was not happy about - and kept it up only first thing in the morning and before bed (admittedly, this rule was broken during air travel and sickness). This didn't produce any big changes in her solid food consumption though, and as our trip in Boston came to an end the doctor we met with said, "You've gotta stop nursing her now. Cold Turkey. It will be a week of pure hell, but eventually she will be hungry enough to eat and drink other things." For the last several months, however, it was obvious that nursing was definitely more for ritual and comfort than actual nourishment because I had a pretty low supply of milk for such a growing girl, so who knows about how hungry she was even then. But I knew the doctor was right and so last Friday morning I nursed Grace for the last time. Fifteen months and nine days after she was born, I stopped breastfeeding. Not bad for a mom who was hoping to get to make it to three months, even if I didn't start in her first hour of life.

For three days leading up to our grand finale, I had been telling her all kinds of things to prepare her for the event because, if you have spent any amount of time with Grace you know that, she understands absolutely everything you say (or very nearly that). So I started telling her these things:

• You are a big girl now, Grace. Soon you have to drink other milk because Mama almost doesn't have any more milk.
• Mama's milk is almost gone now, Grace. In two more days you can't have any more of Mama's milk.
• Grace, after tomorrow Mama won't have any more milk.
• Tomorrow morning is your last time to have Mama's milk because you are a big girl now.

You probably think I sounded crazy, but she definitely understood what I was saying. The night before our last feeding she was really, really sad and wouldn't go to bed easily with her usual routine. I cried a little bit the two days leading up to this event because to physically feed a child for nine months inside your body and then fifteen months out in the real world...was an enormous and emotional commitment! But the day we ended I was in a good place and was happy about the decision and, frankly, my upcoming freedom.

The next few days were a little bit of a roller coaster with brief morning and evening temper tantrums when she would scream "Ma-Moo! Ma-Moo! Ma-Moo!" while making her sign for "milk" repeatedly. She hit me, threw my glasses, and tried to bite me, which provoked a few more tears (from me); but, ultimately going "cold turkey" was not nearly as hellish as anticipated and I am proud of Grace for mostly being over the whole thing by now. She seems to only ask for "Ma-Moo!" every couple of days and, while she is not drinking any other kind of milk yet, we hope that will come with a little more time.

I have been asked if I regret having nursed her for so long; perhaps after reading this you can predict that my answer is no, because since breastfeeding worked for us it was the healthiest way to start her life and, while it is still not the norm to nurse for so long in the US, throughout the rest of the world it is completely mainstream. The only thing I regret is not having introduced a bottle of breast milk to Grace at the appropriate 6-10 week marker because I think that would have given me a bit more freedom, involved Kristoffer in her early days a bit more, and would have made transitioning to other liquids much easier down the line, particularly when she wasn't gaining weight and we wanted to give her formula (which she never ended up taking). So that lesson has been learned for whenever it is that we are blessed with another baby, but I am proud of what I have been able to give our daughter and of the bond we have because of it. Who knows if a future baby will even be as good at or interested in breastfeeding; I am sure that it will be a whole new ball game when the time comes. I'll know what I'm doing, of course, but I think I'll stick to my two initial goals and go from there. It seemed to work pretty well this time around.

To begin with, there was lot I didn't know about breastfeeding, including my own feelings on the topic, and I could not have predicted how much we would both love it and what a big part of our lives it would become. To end with, even though I nursed her for a long time it seems impossible to me that that part of Grace's life is over.

Grace, you are a sweet, sweet girl and I love you very much.

~Mama

June 9, 2010 - Trot Trot to Boston (and back again)

One week ago we arrived back in Kenya after three wonderful weeks away (all of them in the US for me and Grace, two of them in France for Kristoffer before he joined us). It has been a very busy month for us so please pardon my longest absence from blogging! Sadly, I was also not the best picture-taker on this trip, missing out on catching Grace in some wonderful moments with our loved ones...but I've been realizing that sometimes it is more important to just live in and enjoy the moment than to worry too much about photographing it for the future. Apologies to anyone who was left out of our photos; please know that it is not a reflection of how much we love you...and trust me, family and friends, we love you a lot!

Grace changed a lot during this trip. She went from being a crawler who could walk, to a walker who occasionally still crawls. She began "performing" in front of other people: dancing in circles, screaming and "singing", playing hide-and-seek, and many other fun acts. She started using even more words AND she even started eating better towards the end of our trip! Now can she put two and occasionally three words together to say, for exampe, "More cheese" or "No more cheese". Usually she puts "bye bye" with names she can say or "no", so we are hearing a lot of "bye bye balls, bye bye Elmo, bye bye Tsavo" and "No, no Tsavo! No, no Mama! No, no door!" Finally, Grace met and I should say fell in love with ELMO when we were in the US. It is a sweet love affair that travelled all the way back to Kenya with us. But lets go back to the beginning of trip...

It was a long trip to get to Boston initially. Kristoffer travelled with us as far as Amsterdam (an 8 hour overnight flight from Nairobi) and was with us for 1/2 of our 9-hour layover before flying to France. Then Grace and I got caught up in a bit of volcanic ash drama and were stuck on our plane with the doors closed for an extra three hours before the flight was cleared to take off, which made 11.5 hours alone with her on the second plane. We both did as well as could be expected under the circumstances, but Grace did have some pretty fussy moments (who could blame her?!) and I did have a near meltdown when a nice woman said to me, "You're doing great, honey. Only 7 hours to go!" Door to door from our house to my parents house was 32 hours of travel. But we survived!

And when we arrived in Boston, Nene and Pops were there to very happily pick us up and we spent our first day at Auntie Meghan's house with Auntie Meghan, Uncle Tim, Michael, Sean, Molly and Baby Nora - who we were very excited to meet for the first time! They even had a little belated-birthday party for Grace and she was excited to get more legos and a baby doll among other gifts.

In our first week, Grace enjoyed some quality time with Auntie Meghan, Nene and Pops...

Grace's friend Brady and his daddy, Mark (my friend from college), came over one day to play at the beach. It was really nice to visit and we are hoping that next time the little ones will be even more interactive!

Then we travelled to New York City to visit with Bibi and Jen and Mrs. Duffy and for Grace to meet my friends! Grace walked around a bit of Central Park on her first visit to NYC.

Several of my former students, who are seniors in college or newly-post-grads, came to meet us in Central Park, along with an old friend from graduate school and a friend I used to teach with. It was a great way to enjoy the only good weather we had while in New York.

Grace also got to spend a lot of time at Bibi's apartment playing with her new puzzle and all of Bibi's beanie babies. Bibi threw a nice party for many of my friends to come and meet Grace for the first time. I have to say, Grace's new personality emerged during this visit. Suddenly she became a little star, standing in the middle of a circle of people and dancing and laughing and running around. It was so funny!

After our great (albeit quick) trip to NYC, we stopped in Connecticut to visit with Brooke and Dave and their new puppy Callie! Grace thought that the big new pillow in Brooke's living room was pretty awesome...

...but then realized that it was Callie's bed for napping! Have you ever seen such a cute puppy?!

It was nice to take a picture together with our two babies :)

Back in Boston, we got to spend time with Grace's Godfather (my cousin) Reid. And throughout our trip home Grace became pretty close to her nearly-life-sized Simba lion. Coincidence? I think not.

Grace visited Chuck E. Cheese for the first time for her cousin Sean's 7th birthday. She did pretty well considering it was the loudest, brightest place she has ever been in her life. No breakdowns until Chuck E. Cheese himself approached her to say hello at which point she yelled in his face, "No no!"

Another big part of our trip was to get Grace checked out at Children's Hospital and to get some more answers regarding her continued lack of weight gain. We met with a wonderful doctor who quickly gained my trust and assured me that while she is small Grace is healthy. She did want to do some more tests before we left for Kenya, so Grace underwent an endoscopy a few days before our departure. Kristoffer and I were nervous to put her under general anesthesia, but we also felt it was the best place to do it and that we really needed some answers. Grace was an amazing trooper and recovered well from the procedure with lots of balloons from Auntie Meghan and an Elmo balloon from her Far.

The good news is that Grace's endoscopy showed that she does not have celiac disease or any parasite or any other digestive disorder which is causing her to not gain weight. In the end, the doctor called Grace a "diva" and said we just have to keep trying to get her to take in more calories. She even prescribed a medication to make her REALLY hungry before meals. Finally, she said it was time to cut Grace off from breastfeeding because that might also have been holding her back from eating enough solid foods. We noticed before leaving the US that Grace was starting to eat better already and even now back in Kenya she is doing great without the medication. She is not nursing anymore (and that's the subject for another blog altogether) and is finally over her jet-lag so all seems to be pretty well in Grace's world. I am going to stop having her weighed for a few months to give us a little break from the stress. Now that we know she is perfectly healthy, albeit still underweight, we will just keep doing our best and know that she will be just fine.

But back to our trip...following Grace's hospital adventure, Kristoffer went to his first Red Sox game at Fenway Park with my Dad (bummer they lost!) and then we had a fabulous final weekend with all of my immediate family. We had not all been together since Grace, Kevin and Nora joined the Mueller gang so it was long overdue and really fun.

Grace and Nora enjoyed swinging together...

...Kristoffer enjoyed playing basketball with his brothers-in-law and my cousins...
...my parents enjoyed all seven of their grandchildren...

...and we all had a wonderful weekend together. It is times like these that I am reminded of how wonderful it is to have a large, loving family. Even though we don't see each other that often, when we do it is sure to be a good time!

Thank you to everyone who went out of your way to see us in Plymouth or NYC, and there are quite a few of you I know, and thank you to my parents especially for making three wonderful weeks at home for us.

LMW