October 31, 2009 - Happy Halloween!

Greetings from Nairobi.

Grace and I arrived in Kenya a little over two days ago: Wednesday night Kenyan time. Our trip back was as "easy" as any day-long international travel alone with an infant can be (and to spare you a very long story I can just say that the trip back was much easier than the trip there). An infant who, by the way, had a fever and cut her second tooth during our 8 1/2 hour flight from London to Nairobi - and without too much fuss thankfully!

I was yet again surprised (maybe for the 2nd or 3rd time?) that it was actually really nice to return to Nairobi. This is where I live, where my husband is, the only home my baby has known. It may be in Africa, but it is my home right now and it has been nice to be in my own house and sleeping in my own bed the last two nights. Despite some miserable jet-lag, Grace has also been so happy to be here. She was reunited with some long-lost toys that she has enjoyed playing with the last few days, she has laughed harder in the last two days than she did the whole month because nobody makes her laugh quite like her Far, and maybe she can sense that there is a light on at the end of this jet-lag tunnel called "routine" and she is eagerly heading towards it. For myself, I can only say that I missed Kristoffer in a different way that I ever missed him when we were usually apart for the 4 years of our pre-marital relationship. It wasn't just that I missed the love of my life, but I felt his pain being away from Grace and seeing all the beautiful moments of his daughter's life that he didn't get to see this month.

But we did have a good trip! Specifically, it was wonderful to have so much quality time with my parents. She might not have remembered them when we arrived in Boston, but she knew them well by the time we left. Even in the last two days, she smiles when she hears their voices on Skype :) It was wonderful to be there for my sister Christine's wedding, to spend some quiet time with my sister Meghan in the last month of her pregnancy, and to party a little bit with my brother. I was reminded of how much I love my parents and siblings, as well as my nephews and niece: Matthew and Nathan are so big now but I so easily can remember spending time with them when they were Grace's age. They were so cute with her, "GEW" as they call her!, and I loved watching her cousins entertain her. Michael, Sean and Molly were so sweet with "Baby Grace" too, which I think is a wonderful sign of how they will be with their new brother or sister in the coming days.

I was happy to reconnect with almost all of my close girlfriends and have them get to know my sweet little baby a bit more. Of course time is always scarce, but I am grateful for the precious moments Grace and I had with these women.

I enjoyed doing a little bit of driving for a change (okay, not really until my last week did I fight my fear and drive again!) and slowly walking the aisles of Target with Grace happily in a shopping cart. I spent very little time on the internet, which was a nice break, and didn't even watch very much American TV! I enjoyed being with my parents and greatly, greatly appreciate everything (big and small) they did to make it a good month for me and Grace.

The only bad part is that I also took a break from taking pictures! Kristoffer had our "good" camera for a field mission he went on and I just never got used to taking pictures with our video camera (also sometimes the battery died or I just plain forgot to bring it wherever I was!). There were not many to choose from, but here are a few highlights from our trip.

The day after we arrived, Brooke and Dave came to visit over night. Despite our jet-lag, Grace and I really enjoyed their visit. Thank you for coming, guys!

On our way to the wedding in Baltimore, we stopped to visit my mother's aunt, Sister Irene Murphy. She is my Nana's only living sibling and the last relative I have of that generation. She will soon be 90 but has not lost her touch with children; she instantly fell in love with Grace and it seemed to be mutual from the start.

Four generations of "Murphy" women.

When we got to Baltimore, Grace met her Uncle Mark, Aunt Carrie and cousins Matthew and Nathan for the first time. Carrie, I am sorry I didn't get you in a picture with her!

They took Grace to the Baltimore aquarium which, you can see, she loved seeing from my brother's back!

Then came Christine and Kevin's big day! I didn't take any photos at all, but someone else captured this sweet moment of their first dance. Could my sister look any happier?

The morning after the wedding Grace hung out with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins at breakfast. Here she is already trying to get away with her Godfather's baseball hat!

The first time Grace met my cousin John was the day before the wedding. She was a bit overwhelmed and cried, which devastated him because babies normally really love him! The father of three hadn't lost his touch though; she spent quite a bit of time in his loving arms on Sunday morning. This picture was taken right before she fell asleep on his lap!

A week after the wedding, Grace hung out with my friends Kate and Julie for a bit before bedtime. Julie said, "Lis! I can't believe this baby is yours!" Tell me about it, Jules!

Michael was practicing holding Grace for when the next baby O'Brien (lovingly called "the X factor") arrives any day! Grace always smiled for him.

When I had a night out in Boston with the Fun Factor (my college girlfriends) for my friend Marcie's bachelorette party, Nene and Pops took great care of Grace for the night. They even got her to take a bottle for the first time! Good girl, Gracie!

Throughout the month, we were trying to get Grace ready for her first Halloween. Here is one of her reject costumes (it was way too big). It was my original idea for her to be Simba for Halloween...

but how could I deny this cute little giraffe?!

Sean and Molly even got dressed up in their Halloween costumes to teach Grace how to "trick or treat"!

I wish I had a picture to show you Grace's face when she saw her Far for the first time at the airport on Wednesday night. Two words will convey the moment: instant smile.

And now it is Halloween. I will try to get some sleep now and we will take Grace to a Halloween party with our neighbors in the afternoon. I'm sure I'll be back to my regular photo-taking self and can share more of our day with you.

It was a really nice trip, but it feels just right to be back.

LMW

October 26, 2009 - 8 months old

Dear Everyone,

My mom and I have been in the US for almost one whole month. It was really fun to spend so much time with Nene and Pops and to meet more of my family and Mom's friends.

I...

• had a fun sleepover with Brooke and Dave
• loved the Baltimore aquarium with Uncle Mark, Aunt Carrie, Matthew and Nathan
• am happy that Auntie Christine got married to Uncle Kevin
• am sad that Auntie Meghan didn't have her baby in time for me to meet my new cousin
• love Nene and Pops' doggy Belle and Auntie Meghan's doggy Homer
• did way too much shopping with my mom
• did not sleep very much
• fell in love with Cheerios
• drank from a bottle for the first time
• learned how to wave hello and goodbye (for real)
• repeatedly stole Pops' glasses from him
• got to see all but one of mom's closest girlfriends (sorry, Abs!)
• did not get any new teeth
• started to say "Mama" when my mom enters or leaves the room
• dressed up for Halloween with Michael, Sean, and Molly
• laughed and played with Nene and Pops every day!
• pushed myself all around on my belly, but did not start to crawl on all fours
• spent one night away from my mom for the first time (and we both survived without too many tears)
• and most of all I REALLY REALLY REALLY missed my Far and cannot wait to see him when I get back to Kenya on Wednesday night

On top of all that, today I turned 8 months old!

Mom says to tell you that she will post some pictures from our month (she barely took any though...can you believe it?!) and tell you more about our trip in a few days when we are settled back in Nairobi.

Wish us an easy-with-lots-of-sleeping trip back to Kenya. We leave tomorrow night!

Love, Grace

October 20, 2009 - 6-13

This blog was written a few days ago!

THE RAINS HAVE COME! This week I was monitoring schools in the districts around Mt. Kenya together with the head of the school feeding unit at the Ministry of Education. The clouds were building up the whole week and we talked about clouds, wind and El nino more than anything. We would constantly look at a new cloud trying to interpret what that cloud could tell us about the arrival of the rains. Thursday night we stayed at a town called Embu not far from Mt. Kenya. The sky was darkening, clouds were building up and then it rained. Light at first but then long heavy showers blessed Embu town. I remember waking up at around 2 am listening to the rains for more than an hour.

The next day after breakfast we went to monitor schools in the rural lands. It was raining when we got into the car. As we got out of town we could see people planting. Families had prepared their small pieces of land long before the rains had come for planting. Entire families were in the fields with their bums in the air planting maize; we saw old mamas carefully putting every seed into the wet soil. We were greeted with “Poa” from a young family on the dirt road. Nobody would have said “poa” earlier that week. Poa means “cool” in Kiswahili and in this case I found some hope because everybody knew that the drought was over. It was emotional for me, very emotional in fact. Now, in Kenya a man can’t cry - even from happiness - so I stayed quiet for a while in the car and sucked it up. But what a relief: Rain!

My Kenyan WFP driver Nicholas (in his late fifties) was also excited. Over our high frequency radio he reported that “Mobile 195” (a license plate) had seen rain in Mbeere district; he called his wife to hear if there was rain in his home. It had rained there and he was instructed by his wife to buy seeds. “I better buy before I get home or I’ll be in trouble with my wife,” he told me (half joking half serious!). I have to buy “6-13” maize seeds. Look, they are planting over there he told me as he pointed to a farm we drove by. I hope they are using 6-13. 6-13 is the best. 6-13, I have to try and get it today.” Now 6-13 is what is called a hybrid seed. It matures in only 3 months (the normal is 4), it is shorter so that the wind is less likely to lay it down and it is more resistant to drought. 6-13 is recommend by the Kenyan Ministry of Agruculture and promoted by Kofi Anan. 6-13 is perfect for the short rainswhich started yesterday and will end in December. I hope Nicholas managed to get 6-13 before he returned to his home. I didn’t know about 6-13 (the maize seed number) before this trip with Nicolas.

Now Kenya is unfortunately not out of the woods just yet. The rains has to continue throughout the season and if there is a break of more than 2-3 weeks farms with no access to irrigation will lose their crops, although with 6-13 they might hold out a few days longer. In one month farmers who plant tomatoes, kale or peas will be able to harvest but it takes 3 months for the maize which is the bulk of the harvest. For the pastoralists (Masai and others communities only relying on animals) the next few weeks will be crucial. It will take about 1-2 weeks before the grass sprouts and is long enough for the cows to eat it. The rains will bring cold weather and many cows are likely to die of pneumonia. After the long dry season the cows’ stomachs can’t cope with the fresh new grass and they will have diarrhea for a week or two. It’s tough and many will not make it. I have seen them; they are too weak. Sheep (the dumbest of all farm animals) might be okay. Goats and camels are so so tough and will make it for sure. Goats are very intelligent animals and will recognize their own individual names as cows and camels also can (as a vegetarian I am proud to know this J).

The monitoring this week went well; all schools had food, children were happy to see a white man, we saw many schools and Mt. Kenya (from all sides) and many wild animals on our way including giraffes, elephants and rhinos. We have a big meeting with the World Bank next week but I’ll let you know about that one in another blog. This week’s conversations with my driver are also material for a blog of their own!

It’s Friday night in Nairobi, I have played a game of squash and eaten some food and am tired from 6 days in the field. It’s Lisa’s sister Christine’s wedding tomorrow and I wish her all the best on her wedding day. Enjoy your weekend.

KW

October 14, 2009 - Home to Machakos

Machakos is a big town and a district about one hour drive from Nairobi. Our driver Charles was born there and his family still lives there. He has invited me there several times and the Saturday morning after Lisa & Grace left Kenya we went there together. It was a pleasant drive and Machakos turned out to be much hillier than I had envisioned.

Charles was overly excited and told me that of all the white people he had worked for I was the first to come to his house.

Charles had told me that he was building a small stone house for his family and the construction had been going on for quite some time, interrupted by lack of funds for cement. So when we got to Machakos town I told him I would buy him 5 bags of cement (I thought more would ruin the car’s suspension). After that purchase he was so grateful and we went to the supermarket, as his wife had given him a list of things to buy in town (see, wives are the same all over the world!). In the supermarket, he had to make a tough decision as he had promised his son a soccer ball but the good ones turned out to be very expensive. I told him to get the good one and some extra food and baby stuff and then I would pay for it. We proceeded from town into a more rural area and up the mountain as our route took us on a small dirt road. Charles drove slower and slower and started greeting almost everybody on our way. He told me that now that he had been seen driving a car with a white person he would never have a problem borrowing money from those people or paying them late as they now would assume he had money. He also told me that white people were seen as being closer to God, maybe because Jesus was white or because of the missionaries.

He eventually stopped the car and I learned that his house/plot of land was on a beautiful steep hillside right off the road. We parked the car on the road since it wouldn’t disturb any traffic; only about 15 cars would pass there every day. Now Charles was the boss! A few boys on the street were told to carry up the heavy cement bags to the house and Charles could walk up the hill with me without carrying much. We were greeted by his uncle, sister, niece, nephew, wife, son + baby girl, and his mother. They all seemed very excited to meet me, almost like they couldn’t believe it. But they were so relaxed and we joked, played some football and Charles showed me the small house he was building. He was very proud. I walked down and saw from where they fetched water, we talked about the rains, the drought, the baby, the teaching course his wife wants to take, the son, the local fruits I tasted, the price of maize, one day having enough money to buy a car, the church, water pumps and education. Then we drove around the area in my car, Charles driving with his son on his lap and his uncle and niece in the back seat. They greeted everybody who we met and I saw their church, the little local marked, amazing views and the niece’s high school. I tried to talk about gender and how unfair I thought it was that only women fetch/carry water. That didn’t help the mood so I changed to a lower gear again (baby steps).

Earlier this year an American woman visited us in Nairobi for a few nights, she was the cousin of the one who hurt her shoulder. Anyway, she accidentally left a pair of shoes, which I donated to Charles’ niece who is in the last year of high school. She got very excited. We went back to the house and just enjoyed the day together and ate some ugali and spinach. I brought my camera and took a lot of family photos, which I can print for them later.

There was no tv or radio running so we were just chatting and enjoying the time together. I was joking and trying to speak Kiswahili to everybody’s amusement. I was looking at the 3 month-old baby who was wrapped in several thick blankets on a hot day. The sweat was running from her forehead, but that is how they do it in Kenya.

After about 7 hours I drove back to Nairobi after a great day. Surely I’ll take Lisa and Grace there when they come back to Kenya.

KW

October 1, 2009 - Farvel Far

Grace and I leave tonight for a month in Boston. While we are very excited to see my family and friends, the mood in our house the past few days has been a bit sullen. Kristoffer and I used to be so good at doing "long distance", but now the Grace factor will make it harder than ever.

Kristoffer, we will miss you very much. I will do my best to keep Grace from doing anything too cute while we are gone :)

Far, Jeg elsker dig.

LMW & GEW

September 30, 2009 - Play Play Play

Grace loves goggles.

Grace is a happy girl playing with her ball.

Grace loves when Far does "stand training" by smooshing her between the couch, the ottoman, and several pillows.

(Note: If anyone is lacking cheeks, Grace has some to spare!)

LMW

September 28, 2009 - Updates

Lisa & Kristoffer: We had a nice dinner out for Kristoffer's birthday on Friday while our friend Stephanie stayed at home with a sleeping Grace. We are starting to get a little bit sad about our month-long separation. We used to be really good at that but that was before we were married, doing everything together all the time, and had a baby! Now it just seems a bit cruel that he will miss out on a month of his daughter's life, but he will be busy at work and can play as much squash as he can fit in while we are away.

Grace: Maybe the last two nights have been slightly better than the previous three nights, but she continues to be very tired and to sleep very poorly at night (not to mention she remains a mediocre-at-best napper during the day). For weeks she was doing great at going to sleep on her own in her crib after her bedtime routine, but now she insists on falling asleep while nursing and refuses to be woken up at that time. Then she wakes up anywhere from 3 to 5 hours later and she will literally cry for over 2 hours (even after you've made sure she has a clean diaper, is burped, etc.). Once she has woken up, she will continue to do so every hour or 90 minutes (after going back to sleep). She just wants to be picked up and held - not that I can blame her - but she has completely forgotten all the progress we previously made. I am blaming the pediatrician a little bit because he said that I should still be nursing her when she wakes up at night, so now if she wakes up she is expecting it all over again. Sigh. I am not investing too much energy at this point in sleep training her, because as of Friday she will have jet-lag anyway and I would rather try to get her on THAT sleeping schedule for the next month. We'll just try to survive the rest of this week.

She is getting better at waving in the last two days. Kristoffer said to me last night, "Do you know that the best thing about having a baby is?" To which I replied, "Um...how cute she is?" and he said, "No. That every day she can do something new!" He was referring to her new interest in grabbing things from the bathroom counter during her bath. When she is reaching and gets it, if you clap for her and cheer her on she gets the BIGGEST smile on her face. She is very proud of each new accomplishment.

Kristoffer's mom, thank you Farmor!, suggested we give Grace a carrot to chew on for teething and that kept her very happy for much of the day yesterday. Her second tooth looks like it is just under the surface of her gum but has been that way for over a week and has not broken through yet.

Ida: After I refused to communicate with her, she reached out to Kristoffer. She tried to call him and then sent him a text message saying that I was the one who stole from her because I didn't pay her enough money. She also said that we forced her to work longer hours than we had agreed to. Kristoffer's reaction was brilliant. He called her and went with the "kill her with kindness" approach. He told her that we didn't fire her for stealing but that we have since suspected that she was. She protested and he explained about the very low prices at the market; she didn't have a good reply. She complained that she worked more than 40 hours a week and we didn't pay her enough. Kristoffer said that while that may have been true on occasion, we hired her to work Saturdays which she never did AND she had 7 weeks of paid vacation in 8 months - so if you do the math, the hours she worked averaged to be less than 40 hours a week. She got quiet on that point. She said we owed her 3 months of severance pay and he reminded her that we payed her a dfair severance for how long she had worked for us. He told her that we were not actively trying to keep her from getting a job but that we didn't feel we could put up an advertisement for her given that we have doubts about her honesty. He told her that we hoped she got a job and that we would pray for her. After 15 minutes, he says the conversation ended well AND we haven't heard from her again. I confess that two times I have had dreams about her where she comes to our house ranting and raving and making a big scene. I am hoping to be over those soon now that the situation seems to be settled.

Jonipher: Our new housekeeper seems very nice so far. After her first 2 days last week the house was cleaner than it had been in months. She made us dinner one night last week that was very good. I asked her to hold Grace this morning for the first time while I showered and they did very well together for 20 minutes. I love that she comes at 9 am, does her work, and leaves at 6 pm. I love that she is not here more days than she is here, and that she has other Americans she works for during the week. There seems to be no hidden agenda. I don't dread seeing her in the morning and I don't worry about what she's going to do next. My stress level has decreased exponentially in the last week. Of course, we are still in the honeymoon stage but I have great expectations that this one will work out much better. I also like that I am still doing some work in the house (I collect and start the laundry before she arrives so that she can hang it up to dry when she gets in, and I do some dishes and cooking on the other days) and I like that I don't fear giving Grace to her. What a relief!

Charles: He is good and looking forward to one month off from work to be home with his family. Grace recognizes him now and when he puts her car-seat in the car or brings it in the house she smiles and babbles to him and he seems to really love that. He even told Kristoffer, "Grace knows me!" His own daughter is now almost 2 months old and he can't wait to be home with her for a month.

Internet/Electricity: Because of our power cuts three days a week our internet company has been having a lot of trouble with new equipment on our compound for our internet use. That is why last week we had 2 days of no internet. I have no doubt that we are way too dependent on the internet, but living so far away I really do feel it is our lifeline to family, friends, and the rest of the world so it drives me absolutely CRAZY when we don't have it to use on the days when we do have power. I find that even when we do have power I am trying harder to conserve it, but I am definitely looking forward to my time in the US where power is not an issue.

About the fiber-optic cable that arrived in Kenya for greater bandwidth on the internet: We have friends who can now watch YouTube videos and upload pictures and websites, etc. so quickly! They are loving the "like home" speed of the internet. They use a different provider, however, and our company says we are hooked up and should have faster speeds BUT we don't. There has been no change at all in what we can do or how fast we can do it. I don't have the energy to fight them on it before leaving on Thursday night, but when I get back we will switch to another provider if they don't get their act together.

Kenya: Conditions are not improving. The country is dealing with a drought whilst getting ready for potential El Nino floods. My hairdresser says that if El Nino comes it will be here for months and it will include days with 6 hours of torrential rain (like raining many inches in an hour). Roads will be ruined and people will die. It will stop for a few days a time and be sunny and nice, but will then be really bad for a few weeks. It could go on for months.

My boss from UNICEF came over to visit yesterday and brought with her news of corruption and fraud in the education sector in Kenya. I would like to say that I'm surprised, but that would be a bold-faced lie. The World Bank is now freezing funds to Kenya as they investigate the disappearance of large sums of their money from key education projects in the Kenya Education Sector Support Programme (KESSP - for which I attended some meetings and did a little work when I was at UNICEF). Project management from within the government is suspected of stealing the money - sigh - and so the World Bank will suspend further lending until they understand the situation better. This is where it is obvious to me that Kenya is its own worst enemy. At a time when people are really suffering and the country is lucky to have any funding it can get, it now puts future donor support in complete jeopardy and continues to confirm everyone's doubts about a country that can't appropriately regulate its own government.

Never a dull moment over here. That's all folks!

LMW

September 26, 2009 - Seven Months Old

What the sign doesn't say, is that I haven't actually slept in the last 3 nights (thank you teething - this 2nd tooth is killing me!)! So even though I am still very cute, my parents look like this:

At 7 months old, I like to put EVERYTHING in my mouth...including this birthday card that Far got yesterday:I still like to put my feet in my mouth and yesterday I actually bit my own toe (and cried! my tooth is sharp!). Sometimes I can wave bye-bye, sometimes I look like I am about to crawl, sometimes I like to stand and pretend I can walk. I am a good eater but pears are definitely my favorite food. I am not a great napper during the day unless I am in the car and my parents really miss the 8 or 9 hour stretches of sleep at night that I was doing a week ago. I talk all the time and like to play with other babies. Sometimes when I meet new people I get a little scared and cry, but usually I smile at everyone and am very cute.

Most people think I look very Scandinavian and a lot like my father, but sometimes when I make certain facial expressions it is clear that I am my mommy's daughter too:

In five more days, I will go on two big airplanes (again!) to visit my Nene and Pops in Boston and I will get to see all my American aunties, uncles and cousins at Auntie Christine's wedding in Baltimore. Here's hoping I get my act together with this sleeping business before our 24-hour trip home.

It is 9 am and I have been up and about for 4 hours already (before that these parents tried to keep me in bed...but I wasn't sleeping!). I think it might be time to take a nap, or at least I should play quietly in my crib for a few minutes so that my parents have a moment to rest.

Happy 7 months to me!

GEW

September 25, 2009 - Tillykke med Fodselsdagen, Far!

Grace & I would like to wish Kristoffer a very happy (32nd) birthday!

We haven't had any internet in 2 days and I have several other things to write about, but Kristoffer and I are actually going on a date (our 2nd since G was born! our friend Stephanie is coming over to stay with her!) so all the other things will have to wait for the weekend.

LMW

September 22, 2009 - This Blog Has No Title

This Blog Has No Title because I couldn't think of anything interesting, appropriate, funny, cute, blah.

We had a really nice long weekend here because Kristoffer had Monday off of work for the Eid holiday to celebrate the end of Ramadan. Our weekend included swimming at the UN Rec Center (summer is back in full force), hanging out with some old and new friends for a lovely brunch at our neighbor's house, and buying a used umbrella stroller for my trip home next Thursday night.

Yesterday morning Grace did the backwards wave (like she is waving to herself) two times in a row and has repeated once but refuses to do it for any kind of camera! At least Kristoffer witnessed that when we waved to her she waved back. It was very cute and will hopefully become a habit soon. She seems to be teething much more now which includes being very fussy, not sleeping as well as she did last week, rocking back and forth in her high chair, and pulling her ears. We think the one next to her current tooth is coming in and I am really hoping that she gets some relief (read: that I get some relief too) tomorrow.

We have hired a new housekeeper who starts tomorrow and will come 2 days a week through October and then 3 days a week in November if all goes well. He name is "Jonipher", which she seems to pronounce like "Jennifer"; she is 47 years old, has 5 children and 5 grandchildren, worked for an American family for a long time before they moved and now works for an American couple (no kids) two days a week not very far from our house. She will clean, do laundry and ironing, some light cooking; she knows that she is not our nanny but she will watch Grace while I am in the house tutoring a few afternoons a week. When we interviewed her, she brought us a "Certificate of Conduct" issued by the police department which certifies that she has never committed a crime (and is required by the US Embassy to be hired by any of their staff). The first four times she comes (this week and next) I will "train her" differently than I trained Ida and will hope that the situation turns out better.

Speaking of Ida. She started calling me this morning and when I didn't answer she began texting me. It turned into an all day affair. I swore that I was going to be polite and not engage or antagonize her in any way, but she got pretty nasty in her text messages and in my 4th/last message to her I told her that if she contacted me one more time I would report her to the diplomatic police. Of course, she wrote me AGAIN after that. She incriminated herself even more by accusing our driver of more crimes (and therefore let us know that she was also stealing food, not just money) and she accused me of being a heartless mother who enjoys seeing people suffer. This was in the same message where she begged me to get her another job. Sigh. I tried to be more mature, but I think my last message to her was honestly pretty catty. You can call me a lot of things, but heartless mother I am not. Kristoffer will notify our security guy at WFP (with whom we brunched on Sunday) to make sure he knows that she is a bit crazy, knows where we live, etc. We reminded our guards today not to let her on the compound should she come by.

We are little hyper about security these days because, unfortunately, life is hard in Kenya right now. Drought/poverty/food crisis/unemployment = desperate people who do desperate things. Crime has sky-rocketed in the last few weeks and has even affected a very good friend of ours who was assaulted by three would-be muggers. Lucky for her they weren't carrying weapons when they realized she had nothing to give them; unlucky for them she had taken martial arts and defended herself well when they began to beat her up (she ended up bruised and traumatized, but not seriously injured).

The bottom line is this: I will miss Kristoffer very much during the month that I am in the US with Grace and feel bad that she will be away from him for so long, but I am eager to get away from here for a few weeks and I will not miss Kenya one bit. On the bright side, I enjoy the group Grace and I go to every Tuesday (especially since we have no electricity from 10 to 5 on Tuesdays) and I really like having some women with whom I am becoming increasingly friendly, particularly one Kiwi (from New Zealand) and one Aussie. Today we discussed starting a "mommy & me swim group" if we can find a hotel with a heated pool that won't charge us too much for one hour a week (great idea, Jean!). That will be something else to look forward to when I come back to Kenya at the end of October.

LMW

September 18, 2009 - Some Kids Need a Fishbowl

When I was in graduate school I once had an instructor who advised me and my classmates that, "some kids need a fishbowl." She made this crazy statement in reference to the fact that all kids are different, they don't all learn the same way, what works for some doesn't work for others, and you have to keep trying to figure out how to reach a student until you succeed. Otherwise called "differentiated instruction", she told us the story of a student she taught in Alaska who she had a really hard time reaching until she discovered somehow that if he looked at her (and the world) through a fishbowl, he could focus and learn and do well. Hence the phrase, "some kids need a fish bowl." (Joanna, this one's for you.)

This brings me to my story about Wednesday afternoon. Perhaps because of her teething, Grace is very clingy these days and wants me to hold her all the time. She is doing great sleeping at night (a 6-7 hour stretch followed by a 2 or 3 hour stretch and then another 2 hour stretch) but is not napping well during the day, and all of this makes it hard to get anything done. So on Wednesday afternoon I was particularly frustrated because she was particularly fussy; I was trying all kinds of different things to get her to calm down and play by herself near me but without me holding her. Even the Baby Bjorn wasn't working, which you know is a bad sign because she loves the Bjorn! I tried chairs and seats and pillows and cushions and a variety of combinations of toys and songs and dances...all to no avail.

Then I spotted the empty laundry basket - really a bucket - and remembered that Kristoffer put her in there one time as a joke and she really liked it. I brought the bucket into the kitchen, plopped her into it with some tupperware to play with, and low and behold it worked. For 20 minutes she was very happy and I was able to start cooking dinner. Kristoffer came home at the exact moment she started to fuss again and, as usual, she was thrilled to see her father and laughed with/at him for the next 20 minutes.

In the same way that "some kids need a fishbowl" I guess "some babies need a bucket."

Yesterday Kristoffer took the day off from work because it was Christian's last day in Kenya. We went to one of our favorite places for lunch - it felt like a Saturday for sure! We put Grace in her stroller sitting up like a big girl (usually she is still in her car seat) and chomping on a baby biscuit for the first time (it was great for her teething!).

Last night Christian went back to Denmark after a great almost-month here. He went to the Masai Mara, Lake Nakuru, Mombasa, and most impressively he climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Congratulations, Christian! We are so proud of you and had a wonderful visit while you were here! I hope you don't mind that I will now show off some of your amazing pictures from the top of the world:

LMW

September 16, 2009 - Fire (Drill)

Grace and I had an eventful morning here in Nairobi.

I was at the big grocery store, Nakumatt, with Grace asleep in her stroller around 9 am. I was comparing the labels on two different products when all of the sudden everyone around me starts screaming loudly and running towards the exit. I actually saw two people get pushed over (literally!) and I was seriously bumped into by two other people during this mass panic. A VERY nice man who worked at the store came and said to me, "You have to evacuate, there's a fire. I'll help you." So as people were bumping and pushing and whirling by us, he tried to clear the way for me and the stroller, helped me out of the mall and down the stairs, and safely across the street.

I then called Charles who was parked in the basement garage and he said the car was already out of the building and he would find me. My nice Nakumatt-guy came over to check on me, which was very thoughtful, and I asked him, "Where's the fire? I didn't smell anything or see smoke?" He said, "Shh...it's just a drill. But I knew that you would get trampeled if I didn't help you." In Kenya there have recently been a few fires that killed a lot of people and so I think it is very good that they do drills here. But I have never experienced such panic before! And he also told me that there had been an announcement over the loud speaker in the store but it almost impossible to ever understand what they are saying (and it is usually in Swahili) so I wasn't listening at all. I guess I will start paying attention to those announcements from now on.

Two fire trucks arrived within 5 minutes, which was VERY impressive given that there is only one firehouse in the entire city (yes, that's right, a city of about 3.2 million people has one firehouse). When Charles found me we waited for them to re-open the mall - I had planned to just go home but the roads were blocked and once I knew it was a drill I still wanted to pick up a few things! - but before they would open up the doors, someone from the fire department went on a megaphone from the fire truck to make a big announcement. It sounded something like this:

"God sent Abraham here to save you but you have to help yourselves too. God and Abraham can't do everything. You were supposed to be out in 2 1/2 minutes and it took you over 4 minutes to get out. You have to get out faster or next time some of you will die. God and Abraham won't save you next time. Next time it won't be an exercise. Next time you will die."

Now I have nothing against God or Abraham...but I couldn't quite understand what they had to do with the fire drill. And he also talked for over 5 minutes - it was like we were all getting a lecture! As Kristoffer said tonight, this guy didn't say anything about remaining calm in an emergency situation or looking out for one another (and the mzungu with the baby!). It was just "get out faster!!!" or else.

In reflection, the worst part about this crazy experience was that when the screaming and running started, I initially assumed it was a terrorist attack. How terrible is that?! Would I have thought the same thing if a similar incident happened at home? Or was it just because I am in Kenya (a country suspected to be home to a lot of terrorists)?

Also, I was talking to my friend about it this afternoon and she suggested that next time I should take Grace out of the stroller and run with her. But when I really think about that situation, Grace was much safer buckled into her car seat with all these people pushing and shoving than she would ever have been in my small arms!

Finally, there were two goods things in all of this. One, that Nakumatt-guy was so nice and restored my faith that there are good Kenyans here who are not only trying to take advantage of expats. He didn't have to help me, but he did. Then, my favorite part of the day was when we were driving back home. Charles said to me, "Madam, I was so happy when you called me to hear your voice and know that you were OK." That was a very nice way for Charles to let me know that he cares about our family, and it made me feel so good that we employ him.

All of this happened before 10 am. I was ready for a nap but of course when it was all over Grace was just waking up!

LMW

September 15, 2009 - Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming

Beautiful, beautiful roses from our very own rose bushes!

Nairobi is warm and sunny once again (sadly, no rain yet) and we are really enjoying this beautiful weather!

LMW

Oh yeah...we are enjoying this beauty too:

Grace would like to wish her cousin Josefine a very happy birthday!

Tillykke med fodelsdagen, Josefine!

September 12, 2009 - Toothy Grin

Grace cut her first tooth today!

It is pretty tough to see - almost looks like it is still under the gum - but when you put a finger in her mouth and she chomps down, you can definitely feel that the tooth is sharp and above the gum. I actually called my mom to ask her if it counts as since it is hard to see. She confirmed that, indeed, it counts. And so I wonder: when did this baby get to be so big?!

I think it surprised me that the tooth came in unaccompanied by painful screaming, fever, or ear pulling. She hasn't been sleeping well this week which might be related to the teething , and the last two days she has been a little bit clingy and fussy, but certainly nothing that a little bit of Mom-and-Far-acting-like-goofballs couldn't assuage. I expected much more drama with her first tooth! We'll see how she does tonight...as the tooth comes in more I don't know whether to expect more or fewer symptoms? In either case, we are excited for this milestone!

This is what Grace looks like today....maybe with a microscope you can see the tooth (Grace's bottom left side)?

LMW

September 10, 2009 - Six Month Checkup

Grace visited Dr. Nesbitt this morning for her 6 month check up. The best part of having the first appointment of the day is not having to wait forever to see the doc! The worst part about having the first appointment of the day is that when your baby has been awake since 5 am, 9:30 is when she wants to go back to sleep and when she gets woken up to be measured and weighed, she isn't too happy :(

Waking her up aside, Grace had a great trip to the doctor's and loved it even more since she didn't need any shots this time. She weighed in at 7 kg/15.4 lbs and is 66 cm/26 in long (a little under 50% percentile). On the 6-month developmental check-list, Grace scored nearly perfect. She is not able to get into crawling position yet (and shows no interest in doing so, which is OK by me!) which is the only thing on the list she can't do, and the doctor says that most babies can't get into crawling position at 6 months either. We'll hope she gets there for her 8 month check up in November.

We had a good discussion about Grace's eating habits: she is doing well and gaining weight at an average pace which means we can keep on doing what we are doing. She now eats 3 "solid" meals a day combining fruit, veggies and cereals, and will continue on mostly smooth (pureed) foods until closer to 8 months. We also discussed the sleep issues we are having with Grace. She is still great at going to sleep but after 5 or 6 hours she is not staying asleep (which means she wakes up between 12 and 1 am); once she wakes up that first time she continues to wake up frequently. I have not been feeding her until she hits the 9 hour mark (so around 4 am) but he thinks this is a bad idea. His suggestion is that when she wakes up at 1 am I should feed her for a fixed amount of time - say 10 or 15 minutes. Every time she wakes up stick to that time. The next night lower it to 8 minutes, and then the next night 6 minutes, etc. He says he has had a lot of experience with this method working - including with at least one of his two kids. So I guess we'll try it tonight and see if that helps.

I admit that in the last four days I am more tired than I have been in awhile. She has not been sleeping well and, for example, was wide awake for the day starting at 5 am. She is also a terrible napper right now and will only sleep in the car or for 10-20 minutes at a time two or three times a day. This means that I can't nap either and don't have a lot of time to myself to get things done around the house. Welcome to the real world, Lisa! I think my biggest concern is just that she isn't getting enough sleep, but the doctor didn't seem concerned. We also discussed fluoride because there are no bottled waters in Kenya with the right amount of fluoride for a baby so when I go to the US in October I will get some fluoride drops to add to the bottled water that doesn't have enough. She also needs to be taking Vitamin D but you can't get a great baby vitamin here so I will get that when I go home too.

He was very pleased and liked how much she was babbling. I think she gets her talkative side from me?

Grace is a happy, active baby and we are very proud of well she is doing.

In this picture, taken yesterday, she couldn't look more like a red head or more like an old woman with osteoporosis and pants up to her armpits.
In the last week I have had 6 different women tell me that Grace looks "so Scandinavian" and two of them didn't even know that she is Danish! She looks much more blond in person than in pictures but I am hoping that the strawberry blond color of her hair sticks because it is so cute!

And writing this blog has been a real treat because it is mid-day on a Thursday and we shouldn't have electricity but for some reason we do! So before Grace's current nap (thank you) ends I should go get some other stuff done.

Cheers to having a healthy six month old!

LMW

September 8, 2009 - And so it goes

Charles tells Kristoffer things that he won't tell me, because he is the man of the household. Annoying but true. When he picked Kristoffer up from work yesterday, K said to him something like, "So I heard you went shopping today..." to initiate a discussion about Ida's potential theft. Charles told him that when Ida would go shopping she would have a list on a piece of paper where she recorded what she spent. When she would get into the car to go home she would ask him to wait a few minutes and she would then transfer the list to the notebook I gave her and re-record the prices...except increase them! It does no good to pester Charles about why he didn't tell us - telling on someone is a sin in Kenya...nobody will do it! that is partly why corruption goes on and on...Kenyan's will never blow the whistle! - but it does explain why she tried to get him in trouble before she left: she obviously thought that he did tell on her, leading to her getting fired. An eye for an eye, I guess - even though it wasn't true! And she is supposedly a leader in her church.

We have not posted something for Ida at the UN, and will not at this point, and we've decided that if she calls me again I will tell her that I hope she saved the money that she stole from us to help her son go to college in Tanzania next month. If she asks whether we posted the ad for her, I will not lie.

And I'm sorry to keep writing about this - you must be bored with reading about it by now... but it turns out I'm a little bit obsessed with the situation because normally I consider myself to be a good judge of character. This whole time she was just lying to my face (when I asked her to record prices she actually said, "but I would never steal from you!") and manipulating me and I don't like feeling betrayed.

The drought conditions in Kenya are getting worse. Kristoffer had three reports at work last week of children dying supposedly from hunger, although I don't know if that that has been confirmed. My friend's husband is the East African correspondent for the NY Times and published this article in today's paper. It discusses WFP as well and does not paint a pretty picture of life in Kenya right now.

At the UN today, an email was circulated discussing measures taken to reduce water consumption on the UN compound because even their boreholes are running low. They will be drilling even deeper boreholes and are doing things like: adjusting the amount of water used to flush in toilets, recycling water for irrigation, using disposable cutlery in the cafeteria (although not a long term solution because of other environmental outcomes of this), using hand sanitizers in the bathrooms instead of soap and water, among others.

At home, even though we have a borehole here and have not been given restrictions, we are more conscious than ever of not showering too long, of not doing extra loads of laundry, and of conservatively using water during the day for cleaning (which is easy since Ida is not here now!). As the NY Times article points out, this drought is horrible but in October it have been forecast that we might get El Nino conditions which will lead to the opposite problem: horrible flooding, and all that goes with it (roads destroyed, crops ruined, etc.). If only there could be a happy medium.

LMW

September 7, 2009 - The Plot Thickens

We made a new arrangement with Charles that for a small increase in his salary he will go to the market to do the fruit and vegetable shopping for us now that Ida is gone and we haven't quite gotten ourselves ready to hire someone new. The reason I don't go is because they hike the prices up so much for white people and it is much easier to haggle in Swahili (also it can take a really long time!).

Today was his first day doing this so I gave him the list of what I wanted for the next few days. He asked me to write down the prices I thought he should be paying so that he didn't get ripped off. Now when Ida was doing the shopping she often complained about the prices going up all the time, so at one point I asked her to start recording everything she bought and how much she paid in a little notebook so I could see the price changes. I previously noted that when I asked her to start recording prices, she stopped complaining about them going and they seemed to stay the same. I went to the notebook today and wrote down the most recent prices Ida had recorded for everything. Charles took the list with him and then recorded what he paid for each item. He paid less than the prices Ida recorded in all but 3 cases and sometimes he paid half or two-thirds of what she wrote down. When he came home with all the food he said, "Madame...I am so sorry to tell you this but I think that Ida was stealing from you. Most of the food was a lot cheaper than she told you it was." The total bill he paid was exactly half of the money I gave him to spend. Hmmmm....

I suppose after how crazy she got last week I am not really that surprised...except I do wonder how we are supposed to trust anyone in this country when even people who come highly recommended to you turn out to be dishonest. Of course, maybe Ida was just bad at haggling or they give higher prices to women than to men at that market...I don't know. But the icky feeling in my stomach tells me that Ida really took advantage of our trust and generosity. Sigh.

Another funny addition to the story is that we found out from Charles that the guards on our compound call Ida "Ida Odinga"...this is funny because Odinga is the Prime Minister and she is from the same tribe as him. Both are reputed (we now know) to act superior to others :)

LMW

September 6, 2009 - Poolside

We took Grace for a swim in our pool today for the first time. It was a hot afternoon - which is really nice since mornings and evenings are still pretty chilly here - so we were ready for it, but unfortunately the pool water was still a bit too chilly (our pool is not heated) for the little one.

Grace was ready to do laps with her goggles...

Sitting by the pool with Far was okay...

but when he started to get her wet she was not the happiest of campers. She loves taking her bath so much, though, that I am sure if we get her into a pool with warm water she will be a happy girl.

After the chilly water, Grace was happy to cuddle with her mama...

and then when we went home she watched some Danish soccer (last night's match against Portugal) with Far.

It was a nice way to end a relaxing weekend (albeit without electricity all day Saturday). We are hoping to have a better week this week - as in, no drama with our staff, no internet problems, and maybe Tuesday, Thursday and next Saturday will somehow escape our regularly scheduled power cuts. Here's hoping :)

LMW