September 11, 2012 - New Life

Grace and Noah have a new cousin!

Kyle Michael Phelps was born on September 10th.  

Isn't he handsome?

Particularly today, when the world is remembering such sadness, I think it is perfect and wonderful to celebrate new life and the bright future ahead of this little guy.  

Noah looked at his picture and exclaimed, "Baby!" 

Grace said, "But I can't say the word Kyle [as she pronounced it perfectly]. Where is Baby Zoe?"  I trust that big sister Zoe (now 12 months + 10 days old) and Baby Kyle will be like two peas in a pod.  

We all can't wait to meet him - congratulations to Christine, Kevin and Zoe, and welcome to the world, Kyle!

LMW

September 10, 2012 - Starbucks

While doing my usual grocery shopping this morning (after a 3rd failed attempt to get a police report for my stolen phone), I was buying a box of tea when something surprising caught my eye.
 

That's right.  Not just Starbucks coffee.  That would be pretty surprising in and of itself.  But Starbucks coffee K-CUPS for the Keurig (our coffee machine!).  In Dar.  It cost the equivalent of $17 for one box, or 10 cups of coffee.  That's $1.70 a cup, which is a lot more expensive than the $.25/K-Cup we pay at home but is still cheaper than buying it in an actual Starbucks, right?  Because even though I don't even drink coffee, I bought a box!  I just couldn't help myself!  It was definitely a case of: I bought it because I could!  And I am sure they won't last long in the store anyway (there were definitely not there on Friday and there were only 4 left today) so I didn't want to go home and think about it before deciding to buy.    

Our Keurig has not been used too much since Farmor and Hans left, so now I need to find someone who drinks coffee and invite them over for a cup!

LMW

September 8, 2012 - Jailhouse Rock

This past week has not been the best for me.  There were quite a few disappointments and inconveniences.  Nothing so serious - just a lot of small stuff that has left me exhausted and, more than once this week, feeling trapped.   In loose order of how they happened...

• First I had 2 different infections and a pinched nerve in my neck.  That was last weekend.
• Then my phone got stolen at the Goat Races, and by MY phone I mean: Kristoffer's official work phone (World Bank Property) that I use since he uses a non-work-issued Blackberry.  The World Bank requires a police report for stolen property, which lead to my first (and hopefully last) adventures at a Tanzania police station.  More on that below.  
• When we were running out of luku (electricity) we went to input the code for the new luku I had purchased the week before (I thought Rose had already entered it, but I was wrong) and the code had expired.  So I had to buy more luku and find a way to get back the other 6-weeks-worth-of-luku that we lost. This meant I had to go to the luku headquarters (Tanesco...the government owned electric company) and wait in various lines with hundreds of other people before figuring out how to apply for the credit to be re-issued.  Thank God I brought Rose with me to help translate and keep me calm...and now we have to go back in another week to see if our appeal was approved.
• I was about to start my online coursework for Scuba Diving Certification here (a 3-day practical course in the ocean is next week) when I discovered that because I have a pacemaker, I can't participate without getting me and my pacemaker cleared by my cardiologist.  Who is in Nairobi.  Which brings me to...
• The World Bank is supposed to provide me with one non-emergency medical evacuation to Nairobi every year to have my pacemaker checked by my cardiologist there (because he is the closest one who can do it anyway!).  That is what we were told when Kristoffer was hired.  And I am due for a check in November so we inquired with the World Bank Medical Officer (who is also in Nairobi, actually) about the process.  She came back to us with a new response that the World Bank will only cover 80% of my airfare and nothing else for the trip to Nairobi.  But it can't be done in Dar so we will end up having to pay out of pocket for all the rest.  Awesome.
• And now Noah is sick with a throat infection that kept him, me and Kristoffer awake for almost all of the night. For the third weekend in a row we spent the morning in the clinic (Grace had a similar infection 2 weeks ago, and last weekend was my turn).   

So.  I am exhausted and disappointed and homesick (and it doesn't help that my Dad has been sick and that my sister is having a baby on Monday!).  But at least there were some humorous moments in visiting the Police Station.

I also brought Rose with me on this adventure, because I wasn't sure how well the police speak English and I like the comfort of not being alone when I am so far out of my element.  Indeed, I was.  To give you a picture upon entering the police station:

There was a big counter behind which were 6-10 (at any given time) police officers of different ranks who were talking, yelling, shuffling piles upon piles of papers and ledger books.  Behind them were 2 jail cells: one for men and one for women.  From what I could hear and the little I could see, both cells were full of people and a lot of them were on their mobile phones.  It smelled like urine and the whole place was dirty. 

It took a long time before anyone acknowledged me, which was a little surprising since I could not have been more obvious.  But I did get a police officer to take my statement.  At one point he asked, "Why?" my cell phone was stolen, as if I had arranged it on purpose.  I think he was not of the Detective variety.  It took another long time for him to get all the details and write them down in the appropriate way ("the alleged crime took place at the alleged scene...") with a lot of help from Rose.  I think the statement ended up reading something about me taking my goats for a walk in a stroller when someone took the phone.  I of course agreed to everything he wrote because I don't really care - I just need something signed for the World Bank!  I also had to suppress a belly laugh when, after I explained that we had been with about two thousand strangers when the phone was stolen, he asked me with ALL seriousness, "Do you have a suspect?"  

I ended up not being able to get a copy of the police report that day and had to go back again yesterday.  After going through more rooms of papers and ledgers and people directing me different places, I finally found an officer who understood that I did not actually care about an investigation...I just need a piece of paper for the World Bank!  So we'll see if it is ready when I go back on Monday to collect my copy of the report.

And at least there were a couple of GOOD moments thrown in the mix of this week: we were finally accepted into the Dar es Salaam Yacht Club (that's a blog for another day), I had a nice morning visit with a new friend one day when the kids were at school, and there was a Back-to-School BBQ last night at the school which was very nice.

Here's hoping my stress level comes down a little bit next week.  There are no travel plans in the budget until December, so I have to hold on tight until then!

LMW

September 6, 2012 - Six Months in Dar (part 3)

Part 3 of the series: NBO vs DAR

It is really hard not to compare Nairobi and Dar, given that they are both big East African cities.  I think overall we liked living in Nairobi and I can’t say we were unhappy there…but we were also quite ready to leave.  So far we are happy with our move to Dar…it is family friendly and as I’ve written about, we were able to make a pretty smooth transition. 

But in my head I am comparing these two places all the time, although I do try not be too hard on either of them.  I’ll share a little bit of what I think here…

Overall Development and Speed/Efficiancy: NBO.  NBO is much more “like” a modern western city (although definitely is not actually a modern western city), but DAR is following close behind.  We haven’t been to the movies here because there isn’t a movie theater very close to where we live.  There are not many big shopping malls here, as there were in NBO.  Even though I originally found NBO to be quite slow, it is a wee bit faster than DAR when it comes to conducting business (and, I imagine Kristoffer could tell you, government affairs as well). But DAR is moving quickly and is catching up to NBO in terms of mobile phone technology, building/construction, and service deliveries.

Banking:  NBO.  Although in both cities banking IS SO SLOW AND ANNOYING AND FEELS LIKE THE 1930s WHEN YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERYTHING IN A DAMN LEDGER.  Oh sorry… but in NBO we did at least have a local bank account whereas we have now altogether given up on banking in DAR.  We just take cash out of the ATMs here daily.  It sucks.

Prices in General: DRAW.  Both countries are really expensive, but some things are more expensive here (for example, housing) and other things are more expensive there (for example, medical care).

Housing: DRAW.  DAR is more expensive than NBO, but there are a lot more options in NBO.  We are quite fortunate and ended up with great houses in both places.

Freedom: DAR.  Because driving is so much less insane in Dar I am comfortable driving on my own and therefore have a lot more freedom than I ever had in Nairobi.  Of course it was my own fault for being scared of driving there…I am sure I could have gotten used to it, but it would have made our life there a lot more stressful.  Here I am confident and feel secure driving. 

Transportation: DAR.  Not only is driving less crazy, but it is easier and safer for Kristoffer to bike here!  And traffic can be bad, but does not compare to NBO’s traffic.  That place is THE WORST!

Security:  slight advantage DAR.  DAR does not have the constant terrorist threat (from Al Shabaab in Somalia) looming over it and sort of everyday crime is believed to be less (and less violent) here than NBO.  But it is also getting worse and people often say, “It’s getting to be like Nairobi.”  But we do feel a bit safer here than we did in NBO, although after Kristoffer’s incident last year we are generally more paranoid.

Health Concerns: slight advantage NBO.  We didn’t worry about malaria in NBO so that is the slight advantage.  But in terms of stomach bugs and other random African illnesses, we are in the same boat here I think.

Medical Care: NBO.  Hands down.  I miss three things very much from Nairobi and our doctors are on that list (also, my friends and the beautiful flowers!).  Aga Khan University Hospital in NBO was a good hospital and I had a great doctor there for having babies.  I had the best doctor and leading cardiologist in East Africa as my general physician and cardiologist at Nairobi Hospital.  Grace and Noah were patients of the leading pediatrician, who I miss on a weekly basis.  DAR has a couple of good clinics, but they treat so many travelers that they are not really developing relationships with their patients and always make you feel a bit rushed/foreign.  If any of us were to get really sick we would be med-evac’ed to Nairobi to see the doctors I have mentioned above. 

School: DAR.  While I loved the little school Grace went to in Nairobi, had a very hard time saying goodbye to it, and would happily recommend it to anyone there, it can’t compare with the language and cultural opportunity our kids have by going to the Nordic School. 

Finding Stuff:  slight advantage NBO.  Nairobi had more options, but we still have a lot of choice here and there isn’t anything “big” that we can’t find.  For a price :)

Night Life: slight advantage NBO.  Ok, we aren’t really “night life” people in the first place.  NBO had a lot more restaurants and clubs and bars and movie theaters, but there are still a lot of good ones here and maybe they are more our speed because we aren’t going to bars and clubs too often anyway!

Stuff for Kids & Visitors: slight advantage NBO.  There are a few more activities with little ones in NBO (like Grace used to do Monkeynastix), and more cool places to visit with guests like the Giraffe Center and the Elephant Orphanage.  But in Dar we have the beach right here!

Poverty: slight disadvantage DAR.  In NBO, poverty was a lot more “in your face” because it was juxtaposed so closely with extreme wealth.  We saw poverty everyday where we lived. Here, because we live on this isolated little peninsula of mostly expats and upper middle class Tanzanians, we don’t see it very much in our daily lives but we do know that it is even worse than in Kenya.

Infrastructure:  DRAW.  The roads in DAR (although probably not the rest of the country) are much better than we expected them to be.  And they even make some NBO roads look bad!  Traffic is bad, but not as bad as NBO.  Electricity and water are more scarce and complicated here than in NBO (at least in our experience), but countrywide the problems are the same and I am sure it varies even in our expat community.  We hope that faster internet comes before we move away.  That would be icing on the cake!

Corruption:  DRAW.  I guess both countries are so corrupt that it is hard to tell which one is more or less.  Bummer.

Access to nature: DRAW.  A big benefit to living here is that we don't have to travel to get to the beach...but we are maybe slightly further away from good safari than we were in NBO.  But both countries have incredible places to see wildlife, explore beaches, climb mountains (although in a mountain-off I guess Mt. Kili beats Mt. Kenya...), observe nature.  I really look forward to seeing the Ngorongoro Crater and the Serengeti while we live here.  Maybe I'll even get my hotair balloon ride one of these days.  And I'm still thinking of climbing THE mountain at some stage before we leave Africa.  I've got some time to make that happen, luckily!

Overall Atmosphere: DAR.  Nairobi just feels more stressful (or stressed out?) than Dar does.  The peninsula we live on is so family friendly that we have felt welcomed from the beginning.   The large Scandinavian community is also a big deal here, and of course there are also a lot of Americans in both places we’ve lived.  But DAR feels like a good fit for us.  The beach atmosphere is very calming and at least before the extreme heat starts up again, the weather has been fantastic for the last 3 months!

If you visited us (or live/d) in NBO you should come to DAR now so that you can make your own comparison!

LMW

September 5, 2012 - Six Months in Dar (part 2)

Part 2 of the series: Settling In

There were three very hard parts about getting settled in Dar.

First, we moved here at the peak of the hot season, which felt even hotter considering we came from a Danish and New England winter!  There was nothing we could do about this except suffer a bit and let our personal thermometers adjust.  I would say this was a particular challenge for Noah.

Second, we did not have a working generator at first so the first two weeks were even hotter without electricity (we have power outages every single day here – sometimes on and off all day long) for air conditioning.  We had food going bad without a cold fridge, and we had jet-lagged kids who couldn’t sleep in the extreme heat.

Third, getting sick!  So many new/different bugs/germs/parasites/whatever in the air/water here that it was a hard transition for me and the kids to make (not sure why Kristoffer had it so easy!).  If you'll recall that first month of living in Dar we were regular guests at the local clinic.  I am sure the extreme heat didn't help either!  Luckily, after that month it has been much easier. 

But other than that, I think we've done well.

We tried to go to anything we could get ourselves invited to (to the yacht club with friends, to Happy Hour, to someone’s house for tea, to a meeting of diplomatic spouses…).  As my mom told me once, it is best to cast your net wide in the beginning.  The trick to finding people you want to spend time with is to meet A LOT of people in the first.  So I think we did pretty well this time around – also because in Nairobi we were not good at doing that in the beginning and it took us a long time to have friends there.  This time we decided to push past our family’s “home-body” nature and be as extroverted as possible! 

Another aspect of settling in to Dar has been figuring out where to get stuff.  Since there is not one place that has just about everything (like Nakumatt in Nairobi, mostly), here you have to know where to get the best fruit (and all of it is not in the same place) or the certain groceries or the diesel or the luku, etc.  This required some effort but did not take THAT much time because we live on a small peninsula and do not have so many options.  Now I know which grocery store sells pesto and which one doesn't, where the cheese is best bang for your buck, where the best apples and oranges are, which guy charges too much for mango, etc.

After 6 months we feel pretty comfortable here in Dar - I would even go so far as to say we feel at home here.  Grace has recently told me, "I don't miss my old house anymore!"  I think I am almost there too (but, wow, I did really love our Nairobi house) and I know Kristoffer definitely shares her feelings.

LMW

September 4, 2012 - Six Months in Dar (part 1)

We have hit our 6-month anniversary here in Dar (well, I have...you'll remember that Kristoffer arrived one month before us) and, as usual, I am a sucker for anniversaries and milestones and spending lots of time over-thinking these things.  So, naturally, I am reflecting a lot on our move here.  It is no small achievement to survive your first half year in a new country...and I say that with the experience of having done it twice.  

I am dividing my "reflections" into 3 parts to tackle the three major components:  1) the logistics of actually getting here 2) highs and lows and how to's of settling in, and 3) NBO vs DAR (might be a trap, but it's really hard not to compare!).

This particular blog will tackle the first issue:  The Move

By all accounts (mine, Kristoffer's, other people's upon hearing how we did it...), our move went about as smoothly as it could possibly have gone.  There is a decent list of all of the things that helped this transition from NBO to DAR (via 3 1/2 months of world-wide-wandering) go so well.  These are things that I want to remember for any future international move and also that I would recommend to others in the same situation.  We were definitely more expert this time around than in 2007 when we showed up in NBO with 4 suitcases, 2 backpacks, and no idea what we were in for.  

In no particular order, our moving success is attributed to:

• Knowing someone who had just moved from NBO to DAR shortly before us.  She was able to recommend a moving company (who were thought were pretty awesome and reasonably priced) and offer some insights into moving logistics and daily life.  This was very helpful in managing our expectations.  She was very friendly upon our arrival.
•  Having a friend of a friend who already lived in DAR for a couple of years to answer my many, many questions over email.
• Having a mother-in-law who did research for us and found The Nordic School for the kids.  Eventually we would have stumbled upon this gem on the Internet or when we arrived, but she found it first and we pretty much never looked back.  It is a great community for our family.
• Staying in the region. It gave us some context and frame of reference, although DAR is a very different place than NBO (more on that in part 3).  There is a similar East African vibe here that already felt familiar to us. (obviously, this one would be pretty hard to replicate...unless we try for Uganda next time?)
• Rose's relocation.  The fact that she wanted to move with us to Dar and even arrived ahead of me and the kids meant that they instantly had another loved one in a strange new place, and that I could manage getting stuff done without having to search for staff.  For me I also felt like I had a friend here right away and we could share in the adventures of being new together.  Gold.  Also will be hard to replicate again.
• Planning ahead.  Before Kristoffer left the US I had found him a place to stay (didn't turn out to be so great, but at least he had someone to pick him up from the airport and take him there!) and had made appointments for him with 3 different realtors and at the kids' school.  He had a small window before he started working and so was able to just hit the ground running.
• Short-term separation.  Kristoffer's coming to Dar ahead of us was probably the #1 best decision we made.  He was able to find our house, get our stuff from Nairobi, set up all the big stuff, buy a car, and welcome Rose before we were even on the airplane.  Kids walked in to all of their own stuff and I got out of having to do most of the unpacking (at least until our shipment from the US arrived). No long-term hotel stays for us (thank God). Brilliant.

The biggest challenge to our transition here has been selling our cars in Nairobi (still working on that...please God...throw us a bone!); we have had pretty bad luck with those cars and it has kept one foot sort of stuck in Kenya.  Once they are sold our transition will be 100% complete.  We will really hope September will be the month for that.

LMW

September 3, 2012 - Laughing at the Office

Unfortunately I’m not the best at cracking jokes at the office and, except for a few amusing lunches with good colleagues now and again, I don’t laugh that much at work.

That being said, I was washing my hands in the bathroom the other day next to my Taanzanian colleague who also seemed to appreciate clean hands. He told be that a company we worked with a few months back kept calling him wanting to give a presentation and basically wanting more contracts with us. 

“They keep calling me and don’t know what to tell them; what should I do?” 

“Tell him to call me,” I replied "and I’ll tell him NO!” I added. 

My colleague burst out laughing, “Yeah because I can’t tell him no…ha ha ha…it is true…culture!” 

He shook his head laughing and we went back to our separate offices, but I was still laughing when I reached my office. This is a very particular culture where a “no” sometimes can be difficult to communicate, especially if the receiver is older than yourself. What I found so funny was that he openly admitted to it and was happy to hand over the case to me.  

KW

September 2, 2012 - Off to the Races!

The GOAT races, that is!

Yesterday was Dar es Salaam's Annual Charity Goat Races.  We didn't learn about the social event of the year until pretty late in the week.  It turns out that there is a herd of goats sort of "pushed" around a track a few times throughout the day at this event.  People sponsor teams and the teams come dressed up according to some theme.  Then at the event everyone can bet on the goats.  There are food and local craft or business tents set up in a big field with the racing "track" the middle.  There is a "kids area" with games and activities (our kids were way too young though).  There is loud music and a lot of pretty drunk people.

So of course we went!  We got to see one goat race (bad pictures taken below) and saw a few people we knew there.  Managed to get the kids each an ice cream popsicle before we called a day (lasted about 1 hour in total out of the 6 possible hours).  We saw some friends and admired their vision to come without the kids.  They told us, "Of course last year we brought the kids our first time and saw someone else without their kids.  This year we're without kids.  Next year it will be you!"  

I am not totally sure that we Goat Race kind of people, but it was a sight to see and now we know what it is all about.  It seems they raise a lot of money for various big charities in Dar and it was a very diverse (read: not just white expats) population who attended the events so that was also nice to see.

THE TRACK

THE ICE CREAM

THE GOATS

Just another day in Dar!

LMW

p.s. I forgot to report that my cell phone was stolen while we were there! ARGH!

August 26, 2012 - Social Butterfly

Grace is 3 1/2 years old today.  She is a really big girl and is acting like it.  She is just starting to stay at school until 2 pm instead of going home at noon.  This was her request, not ours!  

Grace is good at chores like clearing her dishes from the table, putting away clothes, tidying up.  She is a lot less whiny - although trust me, she has her moments - than she used to be, mostly because she is still napping most afternoons (Dear God: is there any way we can swing it so that she will nap until she goes to college?). She is as curious and clever as they come, still loving books and having a blast with her own imagination.  She stays at her friends' houses alone for play dates where we are told she is always well-behaved (not always the case when her friends come to our house).  She is eating really well almost every day (yes, I did just write that!) and is obviously growing as a result. She says things that make us laugh and remind us that little people have really big opinions and insights - never underestimate a pre-schooler's ability to tell you exactly what she thinks and how she sees the world.

Grace has a good relationship with Noah.  Sometimes she gets mad at him when he breaks something that belongs to her and will tell him, "Today I am not going to play with you, buddy, because I am mad  that you did that.  But tomorrow I will play with you again." She is always concerned with where he is, how he's doing, and she usually includes him in playing with her.  It is great to see them together.  It is also great that Grace's language skills have come so far.  I think we can officially call her bilingual now, given that she easily switches between English and Danish, and has no trouble communicating in or understanding either language.  Sometimes she will translate for me, "Mama, Far said ...."  

Grace is at a really fun age and I keep hoping time will slow down just a bit so that we can really enjoy the magic of her being 3.  Now, 3 1/2! 

Here are some photos Hans took of Grace at school before he and Farmor went back to Denmark.  You can see her with her 3 good friends from school.  We are so happy that she is happy living here in Dar.

Happy Half Birthday, Grace!  We love you!
LMW

August 22, 2012 - Real Housewives

Sometime after we moved to Dar I had an email from one of my closest friends from college, who was reflecting on how my life has changed a lot in these last five years; she wrote that I went from "Brooklyn singly lady" to "Real Housewives Nairobi" (thanks, Gina!).  And I think about her saying this ALL THE TIME because sometimes, I will admit, I do feel like my daily life could be a TV show: Real Housewives East Africa (although I have never actually seen the real Real Housewives shows in the US.  Maybe I should start getting DVDs to do market research?).  

On a weekly basis the show could highlight daily challenges of living here such as having to buy luku (electricity) or diesel for the generator, find grocery items at various different places, negotiating with and managing staff, weekly visits from fundis (repairmen) who are believed in Dar to fix one thing but slightly break another thing so you are guaranteed to have to call them again, and dealing with mosquitos, geckos, ants, etc.  It could also higlight the perks of living here, like our Happy Friday Playgroup - where the parents are mostly socializing over beer and wine while the nannies are all watching the kids - and not getting stopped at police checkpoints because of our diplomatic license plates.  I think Kenya's Nakumatt would get at least a few episodes devoted to it alone...don't you think the time I threatened to give birth in the store because they wouldn't let me use store credit for anything other than a specific brand of water bottle would make for very entertaining TV?!

If Real Housewives East Africa was a show, then today's episode would be about driving.  The little car I drive, a Rav4, needed to go into Kristoffer's office because it needs a new registration sticker for the car.  One of the reasons we bought a second car was for days like today, so that I am not stranded at home or having to walk all over the place in crazy heat with two kids.  But that means that today, little old me had to drive our big bad monster Landcruiser to take the kids to/from school and to do my daily shopping.  

Never having driven the Landcruiser before, I was pretty nervous and went for a test-drive yesterday with Kristoffer to the store and back (because I wanted to practice parking at the store).  I was mostly nervous because my depth perception, particularly on my left side (remember: steering wheel is on the right here), is not stellar and I was really afraid of mowing down some pedestrians or bikers.  The test-drive went well yesterday and as I piled the kids into the car this morning Grace told me, "I really hope you can drive this car, Mama!"  Thinking to myself: from your mouth to God's ears!

Then as I turned on the engine, the key broke off in the ignition.  Right.  The plastic part with the alarm that the key is attached has been loose and completely broke.  Kristoffer warned me to hold it very tight, but I failed.  So there was make-shift masking tape scene before we went on our way to school.

And I only went to one store, instead of my usual 2-3 stops to make one meal.  I decided that if I couldn't find it in one place today than I didn't really need it anyway.  But actually, the more I drove the more confident I became, and I didn't hit anyone, which is a good thing because I have to drive it again tomorrow.

Anyway...our life is mostly just very normal, day-to-day routines like everyone else we know at home...they are just sprinkled with "reality tv" moments now and then.  As long as this show is on air, I hope you'll keep "watching."

LMW

August 13, 2012 - Noah's First Day of School (also my birthday)

I did not expect turning 32 to feel special in anyway, but I had seriously underestimated the power of a pre-schooler to make a birthday very, very special (with the help of her grandparents, who are particularly good at celebrating birthdays).  In addition to being very excited for my big day, Grace was also excited for Noah's big day: his first day at her school!  At The Nordic School children can start at 18 months old (this was the same in Nairobi...I guess it is standard in East Africa?) and today was Noah's debut. He will go every morning until 11:45 am; there is another Noah who is 2 weeks younger than our Noah and they are the youngest in the school right now.  There are 4 teachers for 11 kids in his class (2 Swedes, 1 Dane, and 1 Norwegian).  I stayed with him all morning.  He was a little bit clingy to me, but he never cried, he participated in everything, and he ate very well.  All in all, it was a great day for all of us.

A birthday gift to me: Noah slept until 7:15 am!  Then he was VERY happy for his breakfast, and Grace was very excited that I could start opening presents.

  

Get your backpack on, buddy!

 "Don't worry, buddy, I will take care of you," Grace told him. "I won't let anybody hit you."

And it's time to go!

 

Noah liked the rocking horses.

 And found some babies to play with.  He can even say baby!

He tidied up the cars before snack time.

 

And waited in line to wash his hands.

 Then he sat down next to his friend from our summer playgroup, Helena (whose big sister is one of Grace's BFFs).

 Grace found us playing outside after snack and was showing him how she wants him (and Karla from his class) to jump on the big mattress.

 Grace also allowed Noah to play with her, Solveig and Ella in the sandbox.  They were making a lot of food for a birthdayp (I wonder whose birthday it was!?) and she told her friends, "It's OK if Noah plays with us because he goes to our school now."  But she also gave him strict instructions as to which things he was and was not allowed to touch.

 At lunch time Noah sat next to one of his teachers, Heidi, with two other kids at his table. He ate pasta with a beef stew and bread.  He was a good eater :)

 And after he cleaned up his bowl, spoon, bib and cup, he was very proud of himself.

 And he went outside to play until Grace was ready to go home.

I was so proud of him that I wasn't even too emotional about it...and we celebrated his big day and mine with pizza, cake and ice cream in the evening.  I received many lovely gifts and more hugs & kisses than any Mama could hope for.

Turning 32 might not sound like anything special, but if today is indicative of the upcoming 364 days, then I think it will be a very special year indeed!

LMW

August 12, 2012 - Zanzibar

For our first weekend away alone without children since we've been the parents of two, I would say our two nights on the island of Zanzibar (a 2-hour ferry trip from Dar) were pretty close to  perfect.  I traveled to Zanzibar by myself because Kristoffer got stuck in a meeting - and he joined me a few hours later.  This was not all bad as I had a great meal, a great double G&T, some reading time and a little nap before he arrived.  

The first place we stayed at, Seasons Lodge, was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  Our cottage was great.  Food was great.  Beach/pool/gardens/view/staff were all great (seriously: our only complaint?  Really lame toilet paper.).  We loved it.  We will rate it very highly on Trip Advisor and anyone looking to go to Zanzibar when they visit us here in Dar will get a strong recommendation to go there.  Very personal and private, very unique.  Beautiful. Romantic.  No kids. Just what we needed.  It looked like this (although really we didn't spend much time taking pictures, and the pictures could hardly do it justice):

  

For our second night we stayed at Pongwe Beach Hotel, which was also really lovely.  It was not quite as amazing as the first place, (we had actually booked here first and used the other place for our 1st night because this place had no rooms) but was still really great.  It was a little bit bigger of a "hotel" and the room was not that special.  But the food was good.  The drinks were good (and there was 1/2 price happy hour!). We had a romantic candle light dinner for two in the sand and were serenaded the most beautiful song by two Zanzibari musicians.  The beach was really great, they had a magical "infinity" pool.  Again, great staff.  We were very spoiled (even though we couldn't sleep past 6:45 am!). And while the room wasn't amazing, the hammock was pretty darn nice.

We would like to make a quarterly pilgrimage to Zanzibar a new condition of our marriage.  I'm not sure if that will actually turn into reality (can Farmor and Hans really come back that often to babysit?), but we do hope to return a few more times while we live here.

We did NOTHING touristy - no spice tours, no visiting historic Stone Town, no snorkeling or diving, no searching for the special monkeys that can only be found in the Jozani Forest, no butterfly sanctuary.  NOTHING.  I read one book.  Kristoffer napped a lot and kayaked a tiny bit.  We ate and drank a lot and well.  We talked a lot (about things other than our children!).  We swam.  We walked on the beach, collected seashells for the kids.  I actually had the opportunity to miss our kids for the first time, and we came home to two very happy little ones with very big hugs and many kisses.  They were great for Farmor and Hans and I think we are all a little bit better off after some time apart.  

Tomorrow is my birthday - I can think of so many gifts I already have in my life...what more could there possibly be?  When putting Grace to sleep tonight she told me, "I'm so happy for you, Mama.  Tomorrow is your big day!"  I mean seriously...who says that?!  But I am excited for my birthday if only because SHE is excited for my birthday (why else would I be happy to turn 32?!), and I feel relaxed and spoiled and refreshed and charmed by my husband and our Zanzibari break from reality.

Not a bad way to close out another year.
LMW

August 9, 2012 - Back to School

Grace started another school year today.  She slept until 6:25 am (two mornings in a row...pinch me!) and woke up ready to go.  A few weeks of shy of 3 1/2 years old, this cheeky little monkey was VERY happy to pose for the camera this morning chanting "School! School! School!" A lot of teachers left over the summer so she will meet some new faces this week, but when I dropped her off she was very happy to see Inga, one of her favorites from last year, and to instantly start playing with her summer girlfriends.  She wanted Noah to stay today as well, but his debut is Monday instead.  Here's hoping Gracie-Grace has a great year of growth, development, learning and fun, and that is she is always this happy for the first day of school.

LMW

August 6, 2012 - The New DG

Remember when we asked our security company to replace our day guard (DG) because of petty theft?    Well now this...

Mrs. S (landlord) learned that the samba boy, Anthony (the guy who cleans up around the compound and does odd work for the landlords), and the New DG have been sitting in her son's car listening to music when nobody is home at either house.   Then his CD case from the car disappeared.

Suspects:  The New DG and the Shamba Boy.

Both were questioned.  Both denied it.

Security company now getting involved.

Will we be getting another New DG?  Should we call him NDG2?

LMW

August 2, 2012 - Dar in the News

On Tuesday, a BBC news article about Dar es Salaam was published. You can read it here. I think it is a pretty accurate picture of Dar right now, even though we haven't been here that long. In particular, Kristoffer has said he can feel the underlying political tension here because of government corruption and increasing gaps between the very small wealthy population and the rest of the very poor country. We have seen how that can turn out before, as mentioned in this article as well, when we were in Kenya for the election of 2007. Anyway...if you skim through the article it will give you a better "visual" of this place. For better or worse, at least it is interesting! LMW

August 1, 2012 - A Big Lesson

There is a lot I have learned since becoming an expat in 2007.  Most of that education happened in Kenya because we haven't been in Tanzania that long, and I discovered yesterday that the things I've learned from Kenya are continuing.  This is what I'm talking about:

Rose and I had a conversation about our driver from Kenya, Charles.  I started the talk by asking her how he was doing; things between them were not so great when Rose moved to Tanzania with us because apparently Charles hoped that we would bring him as well and has been holding it against her that we didn't.  She said that she hasn't talked to him since April when she was in Kenya but that he was happy with his job and everything.  So that was good - it was what I wanted to hear.  

But the conversation continued and Rose told me a lot about the way Charles was when they were working together for us in Nairobi (and we are working under the assumption that she is telling me the truth).  His behavior towards her (the way he acted and talked, specifically) was quite different than the Charles we "saw".  When Rose started working for us, Charles told her: They have made me your boss.  I am watching what you do and reporting to them.  So be careful.  They are not easy to work for and they are very strict.  Watch yourself.  

So she said she was terrified of us the first month and thought that Charles was her boss.  Then she said she realized that we were kind and not difficult to work for, so she stopped believing him.  She said he did the same thing when Syprose, our cook, started working for us as well.

So that was news!  Although not entirely surprising: just because he is polite to us and is a good driver doesn't mean we know ANYTHING about who he really is.  I told Rose it is the same with her:  We really like you being in our home and with our children, we think you work hard and are nice and loyal.  But we don't know what you're doing outside of work - you could be killing people!  Or telling people bad things about us.  We just don't know.

Then she told me that Charles was actually talking a lot about us to her.  He was saying nice things about Kristoffer but was talking bad about me.  He couldn't understand why Kristoffer would discuss things with me first if he asked for money or something.  He is the man, so Charles thought he should make all decisions, and he thought that I "wasn't good".  But Rose told him:  Don't you know?  It is the Mama who makes decisions in the home.  You should always talk to Lisa because he will ask her anyway.  You have to go to the Mama, not to the man.  And he didn't like it that Rose was so "close" to me - and he was always trying to find out how much we paid her and what kind of benefits she had.  He was always complaining.

Sigh.  

I would like to say that this news didn't slightly devastate me.  That it doesn't bother me that this man, who we employed for 3 years, who we trusted to drive us and our children, whose family we met, whose wife we helped to educate, for whom my parents bought goats, for whom we bought solar panels and a water tank and so many other things, whose family we medicated when they were sick...this man would think of us (or just me) this way.  I felt that we were generous and always fair with and to Charles.  So I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel a little bit betrayed.

BUT...here is the lesson I have learned:

You cannot give because you want a big thank you or recognition or appreciation or acknowledgement in any way that you did it.  You cannot give to receive that kind of gratification. You cannot give with any expectation of what the receiver of your gift will do.

You give because it is the right thing to do.  It is the Christian thing to do. Because at the end of the day I know that we helped to improve life for one African family, even if they will never remember that we did it.

So with a small crack in my heart, I still wish the best for Charles and his family.  I hope that his wife is graduating from school this month and will start her teaching career soon.  I hope that Charles continues to work for kind, generous mzungus who will help take care of his two adorable children and his old mama who has had a very hard life.  I hope this for him.  And, secretly, I hope that one day he remembers how much help he has had, and pays it forward it some way.  

LMW