October 4, 2010 - First Day

Our morning started out kind of rough, I will admit. Grace woke up at 5 am and didn't ever completely go back to sleep, so that she was pretty whiny and grumpy between 7 and 8. Oh boy. Then she normally has a messy diaper right after eating breakfast, but today it never happened. I waited and waited and waited to bring her to school - still nothing. So finally I decided to pack her up and leave and she seemed pretty happy...

...only to discover that our rental car's battery was dead! HA! I couldn't make this up if I tried. So we waited to get jumped by a neighbor and made it to school just in the nick of time (although really in her class the time doesn't matter all that much).

When we got to school Grace seemed tentative. She was acting shy with her teacher until a little boy brought over a book about puppies. She squealed, "Doggies!" and never looked back.
Yes, I took pictures. I am sure I wasn't supposed to and I certainly didn't ask permission to, but this first-time-mom-who-has-never-left-my-child-with-anyone-but-her-grandparents-for-more-than-one-hour needed to.

I hid in the back of the classroom for 45 minutes and watched Grace play. She liked the slide and was happy to play with the boys as they raced cars and trucks and trains down the slide as well.

When morning play time was over, the teachers sang a little song about "tidying up" and all of the children put the toys away. Grace was a very good listener and cleaned up just what the teacher told her to. I got a kick out of when she started to reorganize the bookshelf as well! Then there was another song about picking up your chair and putting it on the carpet. All of the little boys grabbed a chair and made a line in front of the teacher. When Grace saw what they were doing she tried as well, but she is a bit smaller than the others and couldn't quite get it there on her own. With a little help, she found a good spot and was extremely attentive to the songs the teacher sang. The boys were doing hand motions, but Grace was just taking it all in.
Then it was storytime. The planets must have been aligned for us today because the morning's story was one of Grace's all time favorites, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, and she actually jumped out of her seat when the teacher started the story. The little boy next to her told her she had to sit down and she did, and as I snuck out of the room I could see that she was completely enthralled.
Of course when I left our rental car battery was dead again and we had to wait for another jump. I spent my hours away from Grace dealing with getting the owner of the car to come with a mechanic to replace the battery! When I picked Grace up a couple of hours later, the principal told me that during horse riding and "music and movement" Grace was not interested in participating but carefully watched the activities. She said that she didn't cry at all and followed directions very well. She was just finishing up eating her lunch when the teacher asked me to come in; I watched Grace washing her own hands at the little sink and using her own wash-cloth to dry her hands. When she saw me I got a HUGE smile and running hug and "Mama!" Her teacher said she was completely impressed; Grace is the only one in the class who didn't cry at all on her first day (you show those boys, Grace!). She said she didn't eat her snack but ate a good lunch and was very happy all morning.

Wow! I guess a mom couldn't hope for a better report than that. I thought she might fall asleep in the car, but it really took an hour of winding down at home before she was ready for her nap.

Congratulations to me for not crying this morning (maybe the car drama helped); I really feel so proud of Grace for having a good morning and it is really nice to have confirmation that we made the right decision.

LMW

October 3, 2010 - 'Twas the Night Before School Starts...

That's right. Grace starts "preschool" tomorrow morning. She is enrolled in a kindergarten that is 5 minutes from our house (after much research, our pick was also the closest to home!) and will be the youngest student in the school. Grace will spend three mornings a week in a class with six boys between 18 months and 2 1/2 years old. There are two teachers in the class and when we visited two times she seemed to like them and their classroom.

Our decision to enroll Grace so early comes from our desire for her to be exposed to more and to socialize more than our life in Nairobi has allowed so far. As her Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule is now she will get to do horse riding, music and movement, physical education and have library time in addition to regular play time outside and her classroom "theme" activities (this term the theme is "farm animals"). It is a Christian school so she'll also get some "Christian Education", where they talk about love and forgiveness and patience and respect through Bible stories and songs. We know many other expats - UN staff specifically - who send their children to this kindergarten and are very happy with it.

This has been a very difficult decision for me to come to terms with, even though I know that it is truly the right thing to do so that Grace is challenged and learns to play/share with other children. I can definitely feel that she has moments of boredom at home alone with me now and I hope this will help her develop even more (note: we are also having a small playground built in our teeny-tiny garden this week so that she can be outside more when we are at home). The educator in me knows this is the right thing for Grace, but the mama in me is sad that my baby is starting to leave the nest already! We also strongly believe that it will help Grace's adjustment to having a sibling if she has a bit of her own "schedule" and routine before Rocky's arrival. And, it will give me some scheduled time alone with Rocky which I am sure we will both appreciate when the time comes. But again, as I was packing Grace's bag for school last night, I was sobbing!

So her school bag is packed and hanging by the front door...

and this might be our little girl now, at the ripe old age of 19+ months...

(sporting new "special occasion" pajamas for the night before school!)

...but all is I can see when I look at her is this tiny little baby who I absolutely never want to let go.

There is no doubt in my mind that Grace will have a great day at "school" tomorrow, and I certainly hope for that. I, on the other hand, might need a stiff drink...scratch that, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, to wait out the three hours until I can pick her up again!

I promise to report on how we both do...

LMW

p.s. Happy happy birthday to my mom (yesterday) and Kristoffer's dad (today) and our niece Nikoline (also today)! Nikoline is the big 1-0 today - we hope you had a great time turning double digits!

September 30, 2010 - Another One Bites the Dust

Ok, so that isn't exactly the nicest title for this blog...but, yesterday we fired our housekeeper Jonipher. It is never easy to end a person's livelihood, even when you honestly know that it is the best decision for your family. It was a sad and awkward conversation, but in the end we did it and are relieved to have done it.

Over the last few months we have noticed that Jonipher hasn't been working that hard. After she leaves I am often finding things to dust everywhere and realizing what she didn't do during the day. We have asked her, showed her, almost begged her to wash her hands with soap several times a day, but still she won't do that. She also hasn't respected the hours of our contract: she'll come late most days and then think it is OK to stay late in the evening, which we don't like at all. No matter how many times I have talked to her about being on time, she is never in a rush to get here and is unapologetic about it. So in the end, even though she cooks nice vegetarian food and does a good job with our laundry and is pleasant to have in the house, we decided that her slacking was stressing us out too much. She would be better off with a family who wasn't as concerned about some of these issues or maybe someone who isn't in the house most of the time to see what she is or isn't doing.

She seemed genuinely surprised and had explanations for each of our critiques; she asked to be put on a warning system and for us to reconsider, but the warning system didn't work with Ida and it is too awkward when the employer (me) is around all the time. We compensated her well (3 months severance, which is A LOT in Kenya) and provided her with a general reference letter because we do think she is a nice person and hope she can get another job that is maybe a better fit for her. As Jonipher was leaving she said to Kristoffer, "I hope you don't think I've been stealing," which is an indication to us that at some point she probably has stolen from us (and that is not a total surprise either...a couple of times something has mysteriously gone missing and we have wondered if she was responsible). Yikes.

In the end she went nicely and politely and said she would love to come back if we changed our mind. There was no screaming or drama or trying to take our things, as when we let Ida last year. And so now we are left to figure out what to do next. There are a few realities that we are dealing with:

1. As expats, we are expected to employ Kenyans
2. Kenya is very, very, very dusty (you can dust the whole house from top to bottom one day, and then the next day see the new layer of dust)
3. We have a very big house
4. I am increasingly pregnant with an active toddler who likes my attention 150% of the time, if possible, and will eventually not be pregnant but will have a newborn and that same active toddler

We have to figure out exactly what kind of help we need and what kind of schedule would actually be helpful for our family if someone works in our home. We are hoping to find someone young (in her 20s...unlike me, sad), because a lot of the attitude I have gotten from the women we've hired has seemed related to their age over mine. We are also going to interview more people this time than we have in the past and in the meantime, we'll be a bit busier with housework than we normally are.

After almost three years in Kenya, employing staff and having people work in our home is still the thing that we dislike the most and are probably the worst at. It is uncomfortable and awkward and stressful...because it is cultural, personal, emotional, and professional all at the same time. I feel we are learning each time and one day - some day! - like so many of the more experienced expats we know, we will get it right.

LMW

September 28, 2010 - Two Weeks Later...

Two weeks ago we returned to Kenya after six weeks in Denmark (6 weeks for me and Grace; 3 weeks total, albeit broken up, for Kristoffer). It was a really bittersweet departure for us - we were happy to be coming back to Kenya as a family and to get used to being together again, but it was really, really hard to say goodbye.

Our trip was a real eye-opener for me in terms of: "Oh wow! We really do live in Kenya!" Everything is so easy in Denmark. You can walk or bike ride to the store in a few minutes and are quickly back home, instead of having to drive and wait (and sometimes haggle) for what you need. If you need to distract your toddler, you can just go for a walk to one of the (several) nearby playgrounds. Or if your toddler is having a hard time falling asleep for her nap, you can put her in the stroller and walk outside and within minutes she is sound asleep.

I also acutely realized a lot of the things that Grace is "missing" in her life. No, no, she does not have a difficult life at all. But we don't have access to a library, let alone one that offers not only books, but toys and activities/programs as well! She doesn't have access to many playgrounds, or "Mommy & Me" classes or activities. Our circle of "friends" is pretty small and logistical issues here (location, traffic, culture, people constantly moving away, etc) make it surprisingly not-that-easy to enlarge. These are "costs" of living here that make me sad from time to time, so I am working on changing things up a bit for sure (next blog, next blog).

We had a wonderful time seeing a lot of family and friends, but very specifically it was incredible of Kirsten (Farmor) and Hans to house us for so long. Grace had a rare and large amount of precious time with one of her three sets of grandparents who adored and doted on her to no end; she is still talking about them everyday, still doing things they showed her how to do, still playing games they played with her, still asking about them and requesting to talk to them on skype. Both of us improved a lot in our "Danish" - both culture and language - and I certainly got the rest I needed to continue making a happy home for Rocky on the inside.

We are so, so grateful for the time we spent at the Schmidt home in Varde, and that Kirsten and Hans fully let us into their lives and to invade their home for so many weeks. It is something that neither of us will ever forget (ok, I shouldn't promise that Grace won't forget because she is only 19 months old, but I do promise to remind her of our Danish summer so that she knows what a special time it was!).

Two weeks later we still miss Denmark, but we are settled back into our Kenyan life again. It has been a jam packed two weeks, to be quite honest, which I promise to tell you about soon...I am slowly getting back to writing and think I'll save our new stories for my next blog.

LMW

September 14, 2010 - "Rocky" Mountain High

Or at least I feel like I am carrying around a high mountain!

I am 20 weeks pregnant today - halfway there! - and flying back to Nairobi with Kristoffer and Grace after six wonderful weeks in Denmark (more on that in another blog coming soon). We are looking forward to an ultrasound scan and appointment with my doctor sometime this week to check on how the little one is doing. I am feeling well, despite still being tired all the time, and was very relieved to start feeling Rocky kicking around regularly three days ago (thought it would happen a lot earlier this time around so I was getting a bit nervous!).

Grace is usually very sweet to "the baby". She gives my belly kisses, says "nice nice, baby" and often places books and toys on my belly that she wants to share with the baby. This doesn't mean ANYTHING in the long term, I know, because the baby being on the inside is a very different situation than the baby being out in the world competing for Mama and Far's attention. BUT there were a few weeks where she was hitting my belly and saying "no, no baby" so at least we have moved on from there. Baby steps...naturally.

Cheers to a safe trip back to Nairobi with a much bigger Rocky in tow this time around!

LMW

September 12, 2010 -Hello, Jealousy

Hans' daughter Tina and her 8-month-old son Louis spent most of this week visiting us from Copenhagen. It was really nice to see them because we so rarely get to spend time with Tina when we are here and because Louis is just the sweetest baby ever. To prepare for their arrival, Grace enjoyed helping Hans bake some rye bread (rugbrød) last weekend.

When they arrived, Grace was pretty friendly to Louis at first. She learned to say his name right away and seemed very sweet.

The sweetness lasted until Mama or Farmor got too close to Louis or until he showed interest in something of hers. Then her true "I-don't-want-to-be-a-big-sister" colors started to show, complete with hitting, kicking, and throwing things at him. Of course this is typical of her age and you can't but understand why she would feel jealous, but we are hoping to work on changing her "anti-baby" attitude before Rocky's arrival in approximately 20 more weeks (or less)!

Luckily, Hans and some carrots were on call to provide some good distraction for Grace and Louis. They enjoyed looking at pictures and videos of themselves on Hans' computer! Hans said that overall it was a good day to be a grandfather!

Thank you, Tina and Louis, for a nice visit!

LMW

September 10, 2010 - Har du set min ynglingsbamse?

This little guy is Grace's "Bamse". Bamse means "teddy bear" in Danish, and that is what we named him when she got him as a Chrismas gift from her Bibi (our dear friend Jean in NYC). It didn't take long for Grace to fall in love with Bamse...for him to become her #1 "lovey". Sadly, though, on Wednesday afternoon we went for a walk with Far, who recently arrived from Nairobi. We went to a nearby shop and to the closest playground, and Grace brought Bamse along with us. At some point along the way Bamse got lost and I didn't notice (oh the guilt....). When it was time for bed that night, we had a slightly frantic Grace calling "Bamse! Bamse! Bamse" as we realized what happened.

Farmor's bike ride around our route on Thursday morning yielded no results in the search for Bamse. We went back to the store we were in and even the one next door, neither of which had seen Bamse. The store we didn't even go to felt so bad that they gave Kristoffer a free little Winnie-the-Pooh bear to be Grace's new Bamse. When he came out to the car with the new (pretty ugly) little bear and told Grace, "here is your new Bamse" she was happy for a short period of time and I proceeded to cry for 15 minutes. Call it pregnancy hormones or parental guilt or just me being crazy...but I felt so sad that we've lost Grace's comfort item.

Later in the afternoon, I discovered how to get a new, old-Bamse. For a $35 donation to Habitat for Humanity, the same bear will be delivered to our US address in 6-8 weeks. Another 2 weeks later we should have him in Kenya...but now I REALLY understand what they were talking about when several parents told me to have a back up of your child's favorite stuffed animal...just in case! (at least I donated to a good cause!)

In the meantime, Grace realized that new Bamse was not nearly as wonderful as old Bamse and was calling for him, searching the house, crying for him, asking everyone where he was! With some help from Tina (Hans' daughter who was visiting us with her sweet son Louis) we made a sign asking "Har du set min ynglingsbamse?" (Have you seen my favorite Bamse?) to place around the neighborhood just in case someone happened to pick up Bamse.

Kristoffer made fun of me A LOT (you are probably with him on this one) but he did come along as we went out in the cold rain with Grace to hang up some signs along the route we took that day.

The things you do for your children! We haven't received any phone calls yet, but at least I feel like we did all we could to find Bamse. Worst case scenario: in two months Grace will be reunited with Bamse again. Kristoffer insists that she'll have forgotten the whole thing by then, but I know that she'll be happy to see her dear friend.

LMW

Note: this story is dedicated to my sister, Meghan. Almost 30 years later, she still holds it against my father that one Halloween when they were trick-or-treating and she lost her witch's wig, he wouldn't go back out to find it for her. The holiday was practically ruined for her forever! I am hoping we are NOT in the same situation when Grace is in her 30s.

September 4, 2010 - Grace's Love Life

On Thursday afternoon Grace had a play-date with Malde, the grandson of Kirsten and Hans' very good friends, who is just a couple of weeks older than Grace.

Meet Malde....

He is a very cute, sweet boy. My camera wasn't working well on Thursday so I couldn't capture how nicely they played together or how sweet it was when they kissed goodbye.

But then on Friday - the very next day - he called. We all know that a boy must really like a girl to call the day after their first date, so this was a big deal. And okay okay, so maybe it was his grandmother calling her grandmother, but still...he wanted another play-date as soon as possible!

So Grace and Malde had their second date today. She was talking about it all morning: "Malde come, Malde come, Malde come." When he arrived, they said hi to each other but played it a little bit shy to start.

They "rode" to the playground separately...

but they played on the swing together...

and they rode home from the playground together, happily sharing an apple...

and they played in the sandbox together...

and, most importantly for the romantics out there to note, they ate chocolate together and finished with a kiss!

I would say their second date was as sweet as their first. Keep your eyes open for a wedding invitation in your mailbox in about twenty five years from now!

LMW

September 2, 2010 - "Own bag. Own bag. Own bag."

Kirsten signed us up for a baby music class at the library this morning. I was pretty excited because we don't really get such an opportunity in Nairobi. This morning after I packed up my bag with all the necessary paraphernalia, Grace was trying to carry it although it was way too big for her. Without really thinking about it I asked her if she wanted her own bag. She then repeated it a couple times: "Own bag. Own bag. Own bag."

Wanting to be prepared for such an occasion, I bought Grace a cute, small elephant bag in Nairobi many months ago. But of course I didn't bring it with us to Denmark! Lucky for me Kristoffer's mom recently discovered a backpack from when Kristoffer went to daycare and gave it to me last week. So I found Kristoffer's little bag, let Grace put one of her rubber ducks and a favorite book inside it (Jean and Jen - her Countdown Safari book has become a must-read, a couple times a day!), and put the bag on her. Of course we had to take it off in the car, but walking from the car to the library she said over and over and over and over again, "Own bag. Own bag. Own bag," with extreme pride. Kirsten and I couldn't help but notice that, as small as she is, she really looked like she was ready to go off to school!

I hoped to have more pictures and video from the music class, but my camera battery died just at the beginning. Grace was much older than the other babies (who were all actually babies!) except for one baby's big sister, but she did quite well. The teacher and the singing made her so relaxed that I couldn't believe how calm and still my little busy-body was for the whole hour.

Here is Grace wearing her "Own bag. Own bag. Own bag."

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

LMW

August 30, 2010 - A Kikuyu, a Luo, a Borana and a Mzungu

Sometimes a WFP vehicle has a good mixture of culture and diversity. On my last trip to Garissa we stopped in Kamba land (Kenyan tribe located between Nairobi and the Coast) for lunch and received some odd looks from the other guests at the restaurant and people on the street. It was then that I realized what a strange mix the four of us were. A guy from Western Province, a guy from Central Province, a guy from Northern Kenya and then me, the Mzungu.

We picked up our security escort two hours before Garissa and the landscape changed significantly. Trees were reduced to bushes, houses to huts, and grass to sand. Camels and goats, the most drought resistant animals, where now seen in increasing numbers. The ride was quite smooth and the security concerns I remember having two years ago were gone. It is safe here as long as we travel with a security escort. It is normally the UN vehicle that can be a target, a highly valued commodity, which I actually like too. Not fancy at all, but it seems to have been built for this terrain.

This was the first time since my very first field trip with WFP that I would go back to Garissa, which I wrote a blog about over two years ago. This time around I was facilitating a workshop with a senior staff from the Ministry of Education, a person with whom, I must say, I have established a good working relationship over the years. And we made a good pair, a young guy from WFP and a senior representative from the Ministry. It was a one-day workshop and then we used the opportunity to stay around Garissa district to monitor something called mobile schools. It is a fairly new concept, which our School Meals Programme has yet to fully embrace. That was the plan.

The workshop went fine: 13 districts were represented and the Provincial Educational Officer, so we were talking to the people in charge of education in the whole region.

The following days we were carrying out an assessment on mobile schools. The question was whether WFP should target mobile school under the School Meals Programme.

The School Meals Programme has been operational in Garissa district for more than two decades, during which time it has successfully increased school enrolment and stabilized attendance. Currently the enrolment is approximately 30 percent in Garissa, which shows that 70 percent of school-going aged children are not enrolled in school.

The rural communities in Garissa district are nomadic. They move to find water and pasture for their animals. The nature of this living pattern makes it virtually impossible for the children to enrol in school. The mobile school concept was introduced in Garissa in 2006 with support from the Ministry of Education and Unicef. The idea of the mobile school is to target nomadic communities by allowing one teacher to live and move with the community while teaching children from the Early Childhood Development Centre (from age 3-5) to Standard (class) three. After Standard three the children can then transition to a nearby boarding school. In 2006 the first mobile schools were established in Kenya and over the last two years many more have been established. Some schools are currently receiving school meals through a mother school while others operate without direct food support.

This mission was very different from other monitor missions I have been on. Normally we go to schools and never really meet the communities. As the mobile schools are operating in the community we went really far out this time. All the communities we visited were virtually illiterate. I remember one visit very clearly. We were trying to establish why these communities are interested in having a mobile school: after all these years why do they now want to learn how to read and write? There are many reasons for this, one of which is that this community has had someone within the locality who went to school and is now doing very, very well many years later. Anyway, so we are at this school talking to the oldest man, I think, in the community. See a picture of him further down. He has a six-year old son who has attended classes at the mobile school. Through translation (he doesn’t speak Kiswahili or English) he told us about drought, animals, water scarcity and education. We are unclear whether any teaching has been going on so we ask the son to write numbers 1-10 in the sand. The son does that. We ask him to write his name in the sand. He spells O S MA (N) and after the A I say “Osman” and the farther watching closely can see that we could say his son’s name by reading what he wrote in the sand. We smiled and clapped, well done, well done. I tell you, I have never seen a father so proud of his son. The father didn’t say anything but you could just tell how proud his was. It was an amazing experience. GO educationJ

We came to another mobile school, or so we thought. The community must have left just a few days earlier. There where clear signs of a school and a community living there and it was obvious why they had left. The water pan next to the school had dried up. They had moved in search of a new water point and so we could not find them.

A water pan is not a lake, a spring or a river it is a lower area where water is collected when it rains.

So Kenya is changing…in every corner….slowly by slowly. The people we met were very interesting. They wanted education. “We want a permanent school,” said some adult community members, who were also attending classes at night (at the mobile school).

And, by the way, WFP probably can't provide school meals to mobile schools at this time, because there is not sufficient food storage or accountability for the food, but we do hope that some new systems can be devised to change this in the future.

The school teacher and his tent.

Osman's father.

The mobile school.

One of the ways children learn to read and write.

KW

August 29, 2010 - Weekend Fun

This weekend Grace has had great fun. On Friday evening, her cousins Nikoline and Josefine came to visit, so on Friday morning she and Farmor had to bake some cupcakes to get ready. Farmor says that Grace is the youngest baker she has had helping her in the kitchen and that she actually IS helpful and doesn't make the work more difficult! I say, at least she looks the part!
After dinner with the girls on Friday Grace tried out the running bicycle that Farmor and Hans have (something like this) with Nikoline.
Don't forget your helmet!
Yesterday we visited a small zoo nearby. It was the perfect combination of "petting zoo" with small domestic animals along with some wild animals from far away. We several African friends, and some new faces too. Grace really liked to walk around and to feed carrots to many animals, like the ponies.
This morning, before going to the swimming hall with Farmor and the girls, Grace had fun playing dress up with lots of jewelry. Despite the subliminal messages Far gives her in her sleep, I think she is going to be a girly-girl!
It is so fun to have cousins to play with!

LMW

August 26, 2010 - Turning 18 (Months)!

Since Grace was very small, one of the nicknames Kristoffer and I use for her - mostly to each other - is "the baby babe".

What did the baby babe do today?

Is the baby babe asleep?

Have you seen the baby babe playing?

It's time for the baby babe's bath!

It occurred to me last week, as I watched her do so many little girl things, that our baby babe isn't really a baby babe anymore and we might need to start calling her "the girly girl", because she is really a little girl now. I'm sure I've said this many times in the last 18 months, but she is at the cutest age right now. Everyday she can say and do so many new things. It is a joy to: see the world through her eyes as her curiousity leads to new discovery upon new discovery, feel every emotion as she feels them newly or experiments with them, and explore language and meaning as she tries to say - often with great success! - new words in both English and Danish. She is eating well (yes! our Grace!), sleeping well and is just so much fun that, not for the first time, I would love to freeze time and hold on to her just like this for as long as possible. But I realize that before I know it my daughter will be writing her own blog about turning 30 and giving me a crisis of a whole new kind!

In the meantime, here are some of Grace's most recent moments that we have enjoyed so much.

Grace, you have given us the best 18 months full of

joy and pride and love.

Happy Half Birthday to you, baby babe!

(If you'll let us, I think we'll keep the nickname for just a little longer...)

LMW

August 23, 2010 - Grace's Sing-a-Long

One of Grace's new favorite things to do is to sit with Farmor and go through an old Danish songbook with Farmor singing all the songs to her. Yesterday morning she wanted to do this after she ate breakfast, but the rest of us were still eating. We encouraged her to sit down and go through the book by herself. This video is the last minute or so of what was a very long concert because she literally sang us the entire book, page by page.

For non-Danish speakers, when Grace gets to the end of the book she says, "Slut!" (pronounced "sloot" in English) which means "Finished!" It was the first time that I have heard her say it without being prompted.



Do you think she could be the next American...or Danish...or East African Idol!?

LMW